A character in The Loud House
Way to go, Clyde! [he and Gran Gran walk in] Congratulations, guys! Your dance moves are amazing!
Thanks, buddy. We call that last one, The McBride Slide.
[he and Nana Gayle demonstrate the dance move]
I'm not one for tooting my own horn, but I think we have this one in the bag. I mean, who can our competition even be? [gasps in shock, seeing that he's competing against the one person who hates him and his friends more than anyone] Chandler?!
You know that young man?
That's Chandler McCann. He's a bad apple. Uh-oh, they're coming over!
Hey, McBride, looks like we're facing off in the dance final. This is my grandma.
[walks up next to him] Hi there! Gran McCann.
Hi! Nana Gayle.
[stopping her from shaking hands with Chandler's grandmother] NO! She probably has a joy buzzer, or an ink squirter, or maybe even a finger trap.
No, just arthritis. [chuckles] Oh, I understand why you don't trust me. I know about my grandson's reputation, but I told Chandler that I won't tolerate any funny business during this competition.
[nonchalantly] Yeah, chill out, McBride. I'm always on my best behavior when I'm with my Gran.
Well, that's a relief.
What do you say, Clyde? [sticks out his hand, offering Clyde a handshake] Fair and Square. May the best team win?
[thinking about it] Hmm… Deal.
Today was a disaster. Talk about a streak of bad luck.
[offscreen] Those McBrides are real McBozos. [Clyde and Nana Gayle listen to their sabotaging outside the dressing room door] They totally fell for that crud about us not cheating. And now all we have to do is sabotage 'em again tomorrow, and those massage chairs are all ours! [he and his grandmother laugh, unaware that the McBrides know now, and are both outraged]
Those little weasels!
I knew Chandler would cheat! [thinks] Well, I guess we had no choice. We'll just have to cheat right back.
[Clyde turns on the big fan and the big wind blows off "Gran McCann's" wig, revealing that it was actually Trent in disguise as the audience gasp in shock]
Busted! That's not Chandler's grandmother. It's his old partner-in-crime, Trent.
[flabbergasted and sharped] Chandler McCann, where is your actual non-child grandmother?!
[sighs] Recovering from hip surgery in Scranton.
[gestures to Trent] So you've been pretending to be Gran McCann all week?
[guilty] Yeah. We just wanted the massage chairs for when we play video games.
[crossly] Well, bravo to your performance, Trent, but boo to your ethics! [Chandler and Trent both chuckle nervously] SCOUNDRELS! [to Clyde and Nana Gayle] Congrats, Team McBride. You are the real winners! [Clyde and Nana Gayle hug happily and receive the massage chairs while the crowd cheers as Chandler and Trent watch in shock of horror] As for you two, no one disrespects the art of the dance on my watch! You are banned from every dance contest in Royal Woods forever! Now, exit stage left! [brings in the big fan and blows the two boys off the stage]
Sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush. Just got an email from Astrid's book club. She's on tour with a new advice book, "Are You There, Cod? It's Me Astrid." [shows Lincoln and his friends a photo of Astrid's book]
Oh. I thought we were done with the Astrid Method.
I thought so too. But why would she write another book if her methods don't work? I'm gonna meet her and find out what's going on.
[shocked] You're meeting with Astrid?!
Of course! Her first stop is Hazeltucky, today. [dashes off] And I'm late.
Oh, this is so not good. If Principal Ramirez and Astrid meet, we're more busted than Rusty's hair!
We have to make sure they don't meet.
[laughs] You need to get up so early in the morning to fool ole Flip. Nacho here overheard you dunderheads talking in the parking lot and clued me in. So while you think you were going to feel so busy tearing yourselves apart, everyone knows I moved all of the merchandise out this morning. Call it a "restocking day." Oh, there's one thing left.
[gasps and sees a dusty bag of Flipeos] Flipeos? That's it?! [blows the dust off, getting some of it on Flip's face]
Be careful eating 'em. [Chandler opens the bag and a stink cloud emerges, making his hair all fuzzy] They're older than you are.
[throws the bag on the ground; enraged] This is so unfair! I'm the one who cheats people! You stink, Flip, and that's coming from someone whose dad works in the sewer! [storms out of the store]
[picks up the Flipeo bag and eats one] Eh, it's not bad.
[Lincoln and Clyde wince as Chandler angrily leaves the store, slamming the door shut]
Well, we may not lose if we lose, but we did see Chandler lose earlier.
Small comfort in a cruel world.
[Lincoln sighs as he and Clyde head for the door]
[blocking their way, halting them] And where do you two bozos think you're going? I suppose I may say thank you. While you are trying to get to one-million, you actually gave me the best day of business I ever had. And that includes the time the supermarket down the street flooded. [whispers to the other boys] Suspiciously. [winks] I think that deserves a reward.
[takes the first bite of his spaghetti and notices something off, his face turns red after he swallows] Uh, does this marinara sauce taste different to anyone?
[realizes] Wait, yeah. Something is off. And that something is… spicy?! [his face also turns red, and so does Rusty] Ah! Very spicy! Why is it so spicy?!
[blasting steam out of his ears] Hoowie. I can feel it, y'all!
[lifts up his shirt as his stomach growls] The beast is angry!
Let me get this straight. You set up this whole thing just to test us for an elective class you're teaching?
Yup.
[sits down on the floor] Uh, I think I need to lie down. [lies down]
Buckle up, you have ten more weeks of this. And I've got some doozies planned. [the Action News Team groan and pass out] Oh, uh, word of advice, don't eat the meatloaf tomorrow.
[Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet; the Action News Team and Gus sit at a table after Mr. Grouse sings his karaoke]
Okay, Gus. Toddler tiptoe number two: Performing for real people.
[nervously] Yeah, I--I don't think I'm ready for karaoke, you guys.
Relax. It's all-you-can-eat crepe taco night. Nobody will even notice you up there on stage.
Greetings, food truckers! I just replaced two stoves and a fridge at Lynn's Table, and I thought you folks might just use the other old things. [comes out of the van] You know, as an entrepreneur myself, I can tell you that running your own business is very rewarding. But it requires a lot of hard work, patience, and compromise.
Oh, I'm not worried. Clyde and I are always...
In sync. [they react in surprise, then laugh and fist bump]
Lincoln, why did you lie to everyone? I have hives for you.
What? It wasn't completely lying. I did the bounce house stunt.
You almost fell off the roof. Lynn jumped from a plane onto another plane. It's not the same!
[sighs] I know and I'm sorry. I just got caught up in the moment. No one has ever looked at me like that before. And look at all these pizza sticks. [munches on one] You remember when I was voted "most likely to trip over nothing?" Being cool like this is new for me. Maybe we could just go with it for a while?
[reading] "Lincoln LAMEsauce is a LIAR. Hosted by Chandler. Come see the PROOF! Screening in the lunchroom!" Oh, no!
We have to make sure no one sees that clip! [gets on the computer, opens up Chandler's files, and trashes the two documents of his and Clyde's movie and the clip of Lynn as his stunt double; relieved] Okay, I deleted everything. [then finds something else on the computer] Whoa, Clyde, look what else I found. [he and Clyde look at each other and snicker deviously, planning to get Chandler back]
[Nacho is taking a bath in the Flippee machine and splashes some blue Flippee on a customer]
Hey, Nacho. We're going on a field trip to the Royal Woods Tar Pits today. We wanted to know how to dress.
Patchy Drizzle says sunshine again, but after yesterday, we want a second opinion.
[The customer opens the store door as he leaves and a gust of wind blows in towards Nacho as he takes a whiff of it and visualizes several weather types circling above his head, then opens his eyes and chitters, raising and waving his arms in the air]
Hey, Nacho says, "Hold onto your keisters, it's gonna be windy."
We must bring a light jacket.
[Lincoln and Clyde walk by the store and are taken by surprise when they hear Flip wailing and bawling over sending Nacho away forever and hurry inside]
Uh, Flip?
Is everything okay?
[grabs Clyde by the shirt collar] I SENT MY BEST FRIEND AWAY FOR MONEY, AND NOW I MISS HIM! [shakes him roughly and lets him go as he continues sobbing]
[catching his dizzy friend] Why don't you call Nacho and tell him that? I bet he misses you, too.
[shakes out his dizziness] Yeah, Dr. Lopez always says that expressing your feelings is the expressway to healing.
During their many travels at sea, Greek heroes often encountered incredible creatures; like the singing Sirens, the Minotaur, and the One-Eyed Cyclops.
[The camera pans over each vase, showcasing each of the creatures he is describing]
Ooh, I love Greek Mythology! Hold your phone up! I don't want to miss all the juicy details!
[picks his phone back up] Those were just myths, they weren't even real, like David Steele.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loud House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
