S12Squid's on a Bus
SpongeBob, what is your stop, so I can take you there right now?!
[steps on other people's heads while heading to the driver seat] Oh, I don't have a stop. Today is my bus riding day, the day I just pick a bus and ride it all day. [lays on Squidward's head]
There's only one thing I can think of that could be worse. [screams as he sees Patrick waving at a bus stop] Augh! And that's it! [drives the bus to pass Patrick, which makes him drill himself into the sand] Phew. I dodged that one. Heh-heh. [sees Patrick at another bus stop; he turns the wheel and flips the bus over Patrick; he continues to drive] Phew. That was close.
[appears next to Squidward] It sure was. I almost didn't catch this bus.
[Squidward is completely overwhelmed and turns his head in anger.]
Eeeee... Patrick! Wow! We're both on the same bus on our Just Riding Around On The Bus Day! What are the odds?
[Squidward's eyes spin like a slot machine. His eyes stop with a laughing SpongeBob and Patrick on them.]
S12Sandy's Nutty Nieces
I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.
S12Insecurity Guards
[The scene changes to the police lady arresting Squidward for breaking into the museum and vandalizing artwork. SpongeBob hangs up Squidward's painting on the wall.]
There! Back where you belong. [leaves]
[mumbles] It's beautiful!
You actually like that eyesore?
Why, it's the greatest painting I've ever seen... hanging in the museum! [laughs like a crazed maniac]
[creeped out by Squidward's crazed laughter] Okay, that's enough, weirdo. [takes Squidward away so she can turn him in for his crimes]
[Squidward's painting comes to life as its frown turns into a smile, thus ending the episode.]
S12Broken Alarm
[As SpongeBob actually makes it to the Krusty Krab on time as he is sleeping at the same time]
Right on time! [turns to another sponge named SpongeTom while Squidward groans in defeat] Looks like I won't be needing you after all, SpongeTom.
SSpongeTom
[throws his spatula onto the ground] D'oh! [stomps away]
[SpongeBob rolls into the restaurant and crashes into the register boat. SpongeBob flies into the kitchen and kicks a plank, knocking over a barrel.]
[half awake] Good morning...
S12Karen's Baby
It's Chip. [shows the word "chip" on her screen, then shows an old computer chip] He's named after my grandfather.
[Chip starts to cry.]
[groans] Great, here we go with the crying! Will you please hush that thing up?!
[Karen taps on Chip's buttons and Plankton groans angrily. Suddenly, Chip stops crying.]
There you go. All better.
Wow, how did you do that so fast?
Simple, I just typed 4-4-4-5 in his cute little keyboard.
[turns Chip upside-down and the numbers show the word, "Shhh" on it.] Shhh.
[groans and continues his work]
So, how was your talk with Chip?
Oh, it went great. He's a good boy.
Yeah, he wh— [notices Chip is missing] Where—where is he?
WHAT?! Why would my baby run away?
Because I told him to. [He rolls his eye] Duh.
[Karen screams in an uncontrollable rage. Her hands gather up green electricity and form into a green rolling pin and a green frying pan. Plankton screams in terror as Karen goes to hurt him. Karen throws the green rolling pin at Plankton, which turns into an electric trident and pins him to the wall.]
Karen, baby, let's be reasonable here!
[picks up the trident holding Plankton] You find our son and bring him home this instant or don't bother coming home! [her green frying pan turns into a spiked glove]
[screams as Karen flings him out of the Chum Bucket] I'm going! I'm going!
S12Shell Games
Hi, rock. I'm trying to enjoy a snack.
TTony
Hey, the name is Tony, not rock. And I think it's time for you to vamoose.
Huh? What's a vanmoose? [Patrick imagines a moose of a van.]
TTony
[chuckles] You're a few pickles short of a jar, ain't ya, kid? I'll make it simple. [knocks on his shell] This is my shell. I live here, you don't, so beat it!
Oh no! You can't fool me! This is my rock, and I'm not leaving! [pulls out glue and glues himself on Tony's shell. Tony tries to get Patrick off of him, but gives up.]
TTony
Alright, you daba dose. Stay up there if you want. I've got places to be.
TTony
[shouting at Patrick] GET OUT OF MY SHELL!
[shouting at Tony] GET OUT OF MY ROCK!
TTony
[pushes Patrick] My shell!
[attempts to push Tony] My shell! Uh, wait… rock!
S12Senior Discount
And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. [Old Man Jenkins bangs on the radio to turn it on and sips on his "condiment soup"] And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response...
Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?
Respect your elders! [hits Frankie Billy on the head]
Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! [runs off crying]
S12Mind the Gap
[cool voice] Hey, cool crowd. What's shaking? Oh, yeah. [enters the lounge] Hey, hipsters. It's groovy, cats. Oh, I can dig it. [One patron squeals happily and melts. SpongeBob slides across the floor just as the lounge's Maître D' shows up.]
Maître D': Oh, welcome, man. You're the coolest customer we've ever had.
[cool voice] Oh, crazy, Daddy. Crazy. [pinches his cheek]
Maître D': Can I seat you at the coolest table? [points to the coolest table with all the cool people in it]
[cool voice] No, thank you. I'm here to meet up with a real cool cat. Oh, there he his. Hey, Squideroonie!
[Squidward struggles to get his foot out of the chair, but falls over.]
Maître D': [deeply shocked] You're with him?
[crawls over to SpongeBob] Yes, you're with me. And he is my— best... [twitches his eye and struggles to say "friend"] friend...
[cool voice] You heard the man, folks. He's my best friend. Can you dig it? [snaps his fingers]
Maître D': [confused] Huh? [Everyone snaps their fingers.]
S12Dirty Bubble Returns
[The Dirty Bubble goes to the Goo Lagoon]
I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt! [laughs evilly]
Not Goo Lagoon! [The Dirty Bubble sucks up Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob grabs out paper and pencil to write quickly his last words] Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick! [Sobs as the dirt level increasingly gets higher and higher. Starts absorbing all the dirt.] Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am. [proceeds to spin around inside like clothes in a side-loader washing machine]
Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge! [slowly shrinks, stammering] Stop that rhyme! [screams as he is absorbed by SpongeBob] [SpongeBob falls into Goo Lagoon's seabed. Burps out an shrunken version of the Dirty Bubble.] [high pitched] I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt! [evil laughs]
Aww, little mini DB is so cute! [Dirty Bubble spits dirt onto SpongeBob's eyelid. Officer Johnson catches Dirty Bubble and puts him into a jar held by lady officer]
Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you.
Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! [complaining noises]
Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.
[Pretends to be the Dirty Bubble] It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. [evil laugh] [Police officers gasp] Just kidding! [laughs] [Police officers laugh with him. SpongeBob suddenly feels the urge to sneeze, splattering goo all over the place.]
POPolice officers
[angrily] Gesundheit.
Thank you! [looks at lady officer] You got some schmutz under there. [Wipes off goo from her face. Grabs out a tissue and laughs.]
S12Jolly Lodgers
Well, now this is very nice indeed [begins the relax on his bed until he melts on the bed to the bathroom tub] Mmm... This is Heaven. [All of a sudden, SpongeBob enters Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? [peeks out] Anyone there? Hello? [Squidward shrugs it off and continues relaxing. He then drowns into the tub. Suddenly, Patrick comes from the other side to enter Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? Did someone just come in? [Both SpongeBob and Patrick enter Squidward's room until they bump into each other.]
Don't you just love playing Hotel: Slam and Run?
I enjoy it an... [puts his tooth back into his mouth] ...intellectual challenge.
[SpongeBob and Patrick stands up, starts laughing, and both run out of Squidward's room. Squidward peeks from the bathroom with a robe on and a towel on his head.]
Alright, I know I heard something in here! Ohh... [rubs his eyes] Maybe I'm just not relaxed enough.
S12Biddy Sitting
Oh, boys, right here! Oh, I could use a babysitter!
Ooh! [he and Patrick rush towards Mary] While you go out, and dance, and revel...
...We will watch your little devil!
[SpongeBob and Patrick swirl her around] Yes! [hugs Patrick] Oh, thank you! [hugs SpongeBob then runs off] Thank you!
She's inside! I'm free! I'm free! Hahahahaha!
[Mary hops away happily while SpongeBob and Patrick look confused at each other. But they both shrug and enter the house.]
Hmm, strange... There don't seem to be any baby items in here. Hmm... [looks in a cabinet to find not baby items but old-woman stuff] Okay, pills, pills, dentures, more pills, hemorrhoid cream. [closes the cabinet but then notices a little birthday note stuck on the bottom-left corner of the cabinet] "Happy birthday to mother on her 137th birthday." Aw. [gasps and realizes the truth] 137th BIRTHDAY!!?? [hyperventilating] Oh! Baby Prunes isn't a baby, she's an old lady!!!
S12SpongeBob in RandomLand
[SpongeBob and Squidward chase after the Mr. Krabs look-alike through random happenings. They chase him on the back of dinosaurs with human heads. Then they chase him through a black and white dimension. SpongeBob drops the patty, but picks it up. They continue to chase the Mr. Krabs look-alike until they finally manage to make it back to their normal dimension.]
SSSpongeBob and Squidward
[see the Krusty Krab] Huh?
It's the Krusty Krab! [he and Squidward enter the restaurant] Hey, Mr. Krabs, thanks for showing us the way out of RandomLand.
[The Mr. Krabs look-alike turns around and reveals himself that he is not Mr. Krabs, but an individual from RandomLand.]
RRodger
Excuse me, I'm not Krabs. The name is Rodger and I walked all the way from 86 Screwball Street to complain about never getting my delivery.
Oh, your delivery, my good man. [Rodger eats the patty with his eyestalk-like hat and smiles] Mission accomplished. Better late than never.
[sobs] Better never! If it's late, [pulls down the menu and points to the delivery notice] it's free! [sobs uncontrollably, pushes the register button with the signs "No Sale" and gets pushed into the kitchen]
[The strange lady creature takes the Krusty Krab bag, blows in it, and pops it, turning the screen white. The worm crawls around as the screen turns black. It forms a second head on its tail and it smiles with the word, "End," appearing in its teeth, ending the episode.]
