Old Man Jenkins quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Boo! I can't smell, but you two stink!

Squidward

Just get my order.

SpongeBob

You got it, Squidward. [laughs] Ghosts. [Mystery eats his Krusty Krab hat] Mystery, you ate my hat! [Mystery burps out his spatula, then SpongeBob gasps] Mystery, you ate my spatula! [no Krabby Patties] You ate all the Krabby Patties! [bitten stove] You ate the stove! [no one in the wheelchair] You ate Old Man Jenkins!

I don't want to be a burden.

Squidward

Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen.

Where's our food?

I’m so hungry!

This is my only lunch hour!

Where's Old Man Jenkins?!

Hooray for SpongeBob! He's our hero!

SpongeBob

No! Ahh! Ohh--ow!

[pops out from the trash, grabs a bottle cap and a fork, and stands on Nat Peterson's head] I'm King Neptune! King of the seven seas, the lakes, rivers, puddles... [spits saliva into a spittoon] And spit too! I'm the king of spit!

[off-screen] So you're the king of spit? [thunder roars]

[nervously] Uh-oh.

"Uh-oh" is right.

I smell like toast. Am I breakfast? [bites off his hand] Needs jelly.

[comes by and notices the pile of trash. He also notices SpongeBob's hands sticking out from underneath] Hmm? [pulls out a mortally wounded SpongeBob] Ooh, well, look at that. Someone threw away a good SpongeBob standee. [laughs and throws SpongeBob in his truck-load of SpongeBob-standees] Yagh! [closes the trunk] Oof! [climbs in the truck] Ugh. [drives away with his truck, carrying SpongeBob and the standees inside]

SpongeBob

They called me a hero.

[comes out from his office and is shocked to see a long line of starving animals. Squidward is slumped over the cash register, sound asleep and snoring softly. He yells in his face] Mr. Squidward!

Squidward

[his face is blown straight into his hat. He takes his hat out and his face straightens out] Huh? Huh? What? Who?

What's going on here? How long have these folk beasts been waiting to give me their money?

[who is standing at the front of the line, keels over and dies. His angel begins to float away, but he grabs the angel and pulls him back into his body. He sits up and gives a thumbs up] I'm okay.

Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Yee-haw!

Y'all come back and invade any time.

SpongeBob

Annihilate safely.

And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. [Old Man Jenkins bangs on the radio to turn it on and sips on his "condiment soup"] And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response...

Frankie Billy

Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?

Respect your elders! [hits Frankie Billy on the head]

Frankie Billy

Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! [runs off crying]

Wow!

[hops out of his grave and does the Charleston] Hoo-ray!

Squidward

Thanks for the ride!

Bubble Bass

[holding up egg salad sandwich] And the egg salad sandwiches. [shoves the sandwich into his mouth]

You folks are lucky! I was just heading into the city to pick up the new Farmer's Almanac!

Bubble Bass

To celebrate, I think I will have another one of those sandwiches. [reaches down into his seat]

Squidward

Whoa! You just ate!

Bubble Bass

I can almost reach. [plane bends]

Squidward

Whoa!

Stop shaking the plane or I'll pull this thing right over! [The plane breaks in half, and the back half with Squidward and Bubble Bass falls off.] Thank you. Much better.

Margaret

[humming] Order up for Old Man Jenkins. One Krabby Patty with crust removed and one side salad.

I ordered fries, not a salad!

Margaret

The fries are in the salad.

Okay, I'll try it. [takes it] But only 'cause I'm so hungry. [tastes it, spins around and is now wearing a kid outfit] Aha!

Ooh!

It reminds me of my mother's cooking when I was but a boy. I'm filled with childish glee! [giggles and skips away]