Realistic Fish Head quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Sad! [Patrick and Mr. Krabs get a slap fight] Pathetic! [Squidward accidentally stops the fighting for Patrick and Mr. Krabs] Mediocre! [SpongeBob falls down, then hits the ground] Sup-Par!

"We interrupt this program..."

Patchy

This letter comes to us from --

Name and address withheld.

Patchy

And he writes: "Dear SpongeBob, I am ten years old, and I was wondering if you like Christmas as much as I do. Sincerely yours..."

Name and address withheld.

Patchy

A very good question. But you know, they didn't always celebrate Christmas in Bikini Bottom.

Potty

[squawks] They didn't?

Patchy

No sir, my fine feathered little neck pain!

We interrupt this can-can for a special news bulletin! Be on the lookout for a man who's been passing himself off as a health inspector in order to obtain free food! That's all for now.

[infuriated] FREE FOOD?!?!

SpongeBob

Maybe we oughta tell our guy about the phony impostor.

You loony loofah, he is the impostor! We've been duped!

SpongeBob

Duped!

Bamboozled!

SpongeBob

We've been smeckledorfed!

That's not even a word and I agree with ya!

We interrupt your laughter at other people's expense to bring you this news flash! The fake inspector has been captured! Here is his picture. [The photo of the impostor is shown; he looks nothing like the health inspector that visited the Krusty Krab] If a health inspector comes to your restaurant and he's not this guy, he's real.

SpongeBob

Phew, that's a relief, eh, Mr. Krabs? I'm sure our guy will understand if we just explain the situation. Then we can all have a good laugh about it.

[gasps] I don't think he'll be laughin', boy.

SpongeBob

Why, sir?

Because that patty KILLED HIM!

SpongeBob

Mr. Krabs, what are we gonna do?!

What's this "we" stuff? You fed him the tainted patty! Looks like it's the stony lonesome for you!

SpongeBob

But you told me to give it to him!

Well, you could've talked me out of it!

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

GrandPat Sea Star!

Huh? [falls into a bathtub] Woah!

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.

GrandPat Sea Star!

If nautical nonsense be something you wish.

GrandPat Sea Star!

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

GrandPat Sea Star!

Ready?

GrandPat Sea Star! GrandPat Sea Star! GrandPat Sea Star! [GrandPat mumbles as his body contorts until he's back to his sea star shape. He falls, screaming, onto some letters spelling out his name. His pants fall off and hop across the letters. His scooter then falls from above and pushes him down.]

GrandPat... Sea Star! [laughs]

[off-screen; the words slide on screen] Breaking News. [the words shatter]

I'm Gale Doppler with the big weather. And I'd like to report it's sunny skies for Bikini Bottom. But not today, [a map of the ocean slides behind him] cause there's a storm warning coming at ya. [an animated image group of faux-chovies is shown] We got a gust of faux-chovies coming in from the southwest. Now with [pokes his eye] a closer look, here's our man on the street, Rube Goldfish!

Rube

Thanks, Gale! I'm here with the faux-chovies that are causing all this meep-abaloo. Now I just have to ask the question everyone wants to know. What in the world does "meep" mean? [The faux-chovies surround circle Rube and turn him into a faux-chovy. rises from the middle of the circle] A-meep-ing!

Haha, thanks Rube! So if you don't wanna turn into an anchovy today, you're advised to stay indoors until that faux-chovy pressure system [pushes the faux-chovy group image] moves away. Haha. [the image comes back] Huh? [the image jumps at Gale] Whoa! [he falls down and when he gets up, he has the shape of a faux-chovy and his eyes become strabismus] Haha, meep!