TV show quotes
[Squidward has completed his turn in Tic-Tac-Toe.]
There, I win. See?
Hmmmm...
I'm not seeing anything there.
Yeah, looks like a lot of junk.
What do you mean you're not seeing anything? There's three in a row right here! Tic-Tac-Toe!
[Squidward starts to get irritated.]
Easy, friend.
Yeah, relax, Squidward, we're just here to have fun.
Did you hear that, Neptune said this was all because of me.
Well SpongeBob that's...
Did you hear that? Neptune said it was all because of that guy! [citizens with torches, pitchforks, splinters, and other weapons form a mob with the damaged city in the background]
He did, did he?
Uh... SpongeBob?
Yes, Patrick?
Do you think now's a good time to get those Triple Gooberry Sundays you were talking about?
I think now would be an excellent time, yes. [the episode ends with he and Patrick screaming whilst getting chased by the angry mob]
[laughing] My shorts are wet!
Patrick, just how dumb are you?
It varies.
[upon seeing SpongeBob dancing] That is the stupidest dance I've ever seen.
[to Squidward] Who put you on the planet? Ugh!!
[singing] We're tiny, we're cuddly, we're bubbly, wubbly, huggly!
That was very cute, girls! [then annoyed] In fact, it's too cute. You're out.
I told you it was a stupid idea... and I hate you, too!
[sniffs, his breath comes out, revealing seagulls and a lighthouse port, sniffs again] Whoa! Blarney Stone, that's a horrible reek. I knew I was forgetting somethin'.
What am I, chopped liver?
No, that's what I am. [zoom out showing a jar of chopped liver]
[in her sleep] Must protect garden.
Oh, well. I needed to lose a little weight anyway.
Hey, pal, want some of my cotton candy? They gave it to me when I won the dart tournament. I got this, too! Check it out! [shows off his ribbon pin]
That's nice, Patrick, but I don't want any cotton candy.
Well, have some. It'll make you feel better.
[his patience has run out and becomes annoyed] I said I don't want any! [turns and knocks it onto the ground]
You ruined my cotton candy!
[enraged] Good! Maybe now you know how I feel about you ruining my life!
Check it out! Public fight!
Working at the carnival sure has its perks!
[The crowd gathers around SpongeBob and Patrick]
I have never felt so ashamed.
What do you mean?
If it wasn't for your Forever Glue, I wouldn't be stuck in this thing!
But I was only trying to help!
[berates Patrick and shouts very furiously] Help?! I think you've "helped" quite enough today!
[becomes sad and his eyes tear up, chastened] Okay, if that's how you feel... I won't help you anymore!
[Upset and hurt, Patrick runs off crying hysterically, and the crowd forms a silent angry mob at SpongeBob]
[laughs nervously] A lot of drama with that one.
You know, kid: your body isn't the problem - it's your heart. [inside SpongeBob's body, his heart starts to groan sadly] You deserve what you've gotten. Come on, we're out of here. [the angry crowd leaves, listening to what Sandals says] Some people are just born mean. [SpongeBob frowns in shame]
[talking to the viewers] I guess crying does solve your problems after all.
[wakes up] What's going on? Where am I? [gasps] What in Neptune's ocean is that repulsive thing?!
Mm-mmm! Nothing like a hot shower to make a squirrel feel like a new woman!
Sandy Cheeks? But where's her fur? [sees her fur] Wow! Wait a minute. That's it! [gets an idea] I think I just found out how to get the Krabby Patty Formula once and for all! [grabs Sandy's fur] Hope you like long showers, squirrel! [shuts the door and traps Sandy]
Was there an accident? What is that?
Our ticket to the Krabby Patty Formula, that's what that is.
Oh, no. You can't be serious.
As serious as a shark attack.
Don't let it out of your sight, boy-o.
[salutes with his spatula] You can always count on me, Mr. K!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
