Hey... I know you. Yeah, from today's paper! [holds up a newspaper with a picture of SpongeBob on the front page and the headline "Local Nutcase Tries to Fly"]
"Local nutcase tries to fly"?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs, too!
[walks outside, and past Monroe and his Mother]
Look, mom, it's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom.
MMother
Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs!
Come on, Bird Man. Flap your wings and fly! [makes flapping motions; he and Incidental 115 laugh cruelly; SpongeBob walks away, only to encounter many other fish]
CFCap Fish
Hey, Bird Man, going to check on your eggs?
NNancy
Maybe he's looking for a statue to poop on.
[steps in front of SpongeBob and starts flapping his arms and making chicken noises; a crowd of fish around him laughs]
Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams! [two fish holding babies stand to the side of him]
M2Mother #2
You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams?
SandalsI was supposed to be a concert pianist... until I realized I didn't have any fingers. [looks at his hands]
NNancy
What makes you so special? [the crowd of fish turns into an angry mob, along with pitchfork and torches]
[the mob chases him; he starts panting, then stops] Huh? [camera zooms out to reveal SpongeBob just stepped off the edge of a cliff and he screams]
[screams as he lands in a Mud Removal truck] Ooh! [the truck makes a sharp turn and SpongeBob falls out, covered in mud; while falling] Well, it can't get any worse. D'oh! [lands in a Feather Delivery truck; sticks his head up, which is now covered with feathers] I guess I spoke too soon.
[Note: television version only] [the scene freezes] Will SpongeBob learn to fly? Stay tuned.
Hey, pal, want some of my cotton candy? They gave it to me when I won the dart tournament. I got this, too! Check it out! [shows off his ribbon pin]
That's nice, Patrick, but I don't want any cotton candy.
Well, have some. It'll make you feel better.
[his patience has run out and becomes annoyed] I said I don't want any! [turns and knocks it onto the ground]
You ruined my cotton candy!
[enraged] Good! Maybe now you know how I feel about you ruining my life!
BTBall Toss Vendor
Check it out! Public fight!
OVOther Vendor
Working at the carnival sure has its perks!
[The crowd gathers around SpongeBob and Patrick]
I have never felt so ashamed.
If it wasn't for your Forever Glue, I wouldn't be stuck in this thing!
But I was only trying to help!
[berates Patrick and shouts very furiously] Help?! I think you've "helped" quite enough today!
[becomes sad and his eyes tear up, chastened] Okay, if that's how you feel... I won't help you anymore!
[Upset and hurt, Patrick runs off crying hysterically, and the crowd forms a silent angry mob at SpongeBob]
[laughs nervously] A lot of drama with that one.
Sandals
You know, kid: your body isn't the problem - it's your heart. [inside SpongeBob's body, his heart starts to groan sadly] You deserve what you've gotten. Come on, we're out of here. [the angry crowd leaves, listening to what Sandals says] Some people are just born mean. [SpongeBob frowns in shame]
MMorty
Extra, extra, read all about it! Jerk reads diary, local fry cook devastated. [holding up a newspaper]
Oh, boy, let me see one of those papers. Uh-huh, mm-hm. [a cover of paper shows a sad photo of SpongeBob. There is writing that says "Local Fry Cook Devastated." Squidward laughs and tosses the paper on the ground. Citizens stare at him scornfully] Taxi! [waving as a taxi car with the model of the boat screeches its tires approaching him]
DDriver
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, pal. You're that diary reader.
Yes, I am. [taxi drives away in an angry attitude after hearing Squidward's revelation. The tires squeal, Squidward coughs in the exhaust. Then he continues walking]
AMAbigail Marge
Diary thief!
Sandals
Jerk!
[from outside a house window] Secret stealer!
NNorma
Billy, stay away from that mean, old diary reader.
Idiots. [The scene changes to outside of SpongeBob's, Patrick's, and Squidward's houses, with Squidward at his front door. It opens, revealing Quincy]
QQuincy
Squidward Tentacles, by reading another person's diary, you have violated the terms of your loan. [holds up loan papers] We are repossessing your house.
QQuincy
Take it away, boys! [Squidward's house is lifted away with a crane.]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
