Joel Robinson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[A shot of unpolished trumpets is shown to a background of low music.]

Joel

Honey West!

[Three trumpet shells are shown, with someone behind them.]

Joel

Come on now, watch the red man. Watch for the red man, you're wrong.

[A montage of scenes show the posture-pal kids correcting each other's posture.]

Joel

Ah, they're gonna take this for about a half-hour before they end up killing each other.

[The camera focuses on Dr. Conway (lantern-jawed John Carradine) as he reassures new patient Grace.]

Joel

Hey, John -- why the long face, pal?

[Danny is telling a long, shaggy-dog story about a giant and Ferdinand the bull to keep Dr. Conway's dim-witted servant Lobo occupied.]

Joel

His story has a better plot than this movie...

[Later, in Max's van, Carrie drones on and on while Max listens wearily.]

Joel

You know you're boring when you're boring a Van Patten.

[as Mike and Carol first encounter, and flee from the titular giant spider]

[Ross finds wild bobcat tracks and begins to follow the trail]

Joel

[as Ross/Reg Presley] Wildcat, I think I love you, but I wanna know for sure.

[Joel walks in carrying a plate of waffles; with only one thing to say]

Joel

...Waffles. [Movie Sign blares] Oh; we've got Movie Sign!

[as the short begins, a logo for Avis Films appears.]

Joel

Avis Films, we try harder.

[While Chase sings, the giant gila monster bursts through the wall.]

[as Linda Flores (portrayed by Shari Belafonte-Harper) is shown working as a university radio disc jockey]

Joel

[as Linda] Now here's The Banana Boat Song by a little someone I'd like to call Dad.

[Arriving at Dr. Craigis's house, Sherman looks up at the giant antenna on the roof.]