Joel Robinson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 3 ... TV Quotes Database

[The brain-eating space girls return after the boys fall unconscious from eating drugged donuts.]

JAJoel [as Space Girl]

Kids' brains always taste better when they've been thinking about donuts.

S3 Gamera vs. Guiron

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[At the spaceship landing site, reporters laugh at little sister Tomoko. She walks away, crestfallen.]

JAJoel [as Tomoko]

[in psychotic child voice] When the whip comes down, you will see who rules, you twisted old fruit!

S3 Gamera vs. Guiron

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[As Tom's mother drives away, Tomoko surprises her by hiding in the back seat]

JAJoel [as Tomoko/hijacker]

Shut up and keep driving!

S3 Gamera vs. Guiron

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[As Gamera flies toward the crowd with the spaceship in his mouth, Tomoko jumps down into the landing site crater.]

JAJoel [as Tomoko]

I'm first! I wish to be the first to be crushed!

S3 Gamera vs. Guiron

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Joel

Just because you lost your hair, doesn't mean you have to take it out on the planet.

S3 Fugitive Alien

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[The villain has shot himself, but his pet cat is still alive.]

Joel

So that cat is going to have to take the rap for this whole thing?

S3 Mighty Jack

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[Ator and Thong are attacked by invisible enemies.]

Joel

I don't believe it -- they were too cheap to hire villains in this movie.

S3 Cave Dwellers

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[Tommy carries a carton of milk upstairs for Trumpy.]

JAJoel [as Tommy]

Hey, what gives? I'm on the milk carton!

S3 Pod People

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[The letter I (for "In") is represented by the White House.]

Joel

I is for Ike. He hides inside.

S3 Daddy-O

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[During Y (for "Young"), a clip of children fishing is seen.]

Joel

Y is the chemical symbol for heavy metals that the fish is full of!

S3 Daddy-O

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[Ross is violently manhandling a bear cub]

Joel

What I wouldn't give to see that cub's mom show up right about now, huh, guys?

Teenage Caveman (movie)

S3 Teenage Caveman

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[At the high school hallway, student Jim shows his new clarinet while Buzz watches.]

JAJoel [as Jim]

Got it from the Franklin Mint!

S3 War of the Colossal Beast

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JAJoel [as Buzz]

[in a whiny voice] That hurt. I'm all messed up inside. If only an androgynous man would come and visit me...

S3 War of the Colossal Beast

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JAJoel [as Buzz's Mother]

Why does my kid have to be such a dud? I was popular!

S3 War of the Colossal Beast

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[Mr. B appears in the music store and begins talking.]

JAJoel [as Buzz]

[in a panicky voice] Mom, Dad, tell me you heard that!

S3 War of the Colossal Beast

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Joel Robinson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

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