Yeah, I was all set to start on a TV cabinet on Saturday, but it's gonna hafta wait a day. Luanne's mama is coming to visit.
(spits out his beer in shock) That woman is a menace to society.
Well, I dunno, I never met the lady, but she did her time.
I tell you what, ain't no dang ol' lady 'bout her man. She get all liquored up man, all comin' on strong an' pawin' me like a dang ol' animal, man. I tell her "no means no!"
Yeah, Leanne's bad news, I tell you what. Peggy's brother was all set to marry a pretty pharmacist gal until Leanne "entertained" at his bachelor party. [sighs] So he marries Leanne and after 18 years of drunken hell, she stabs him with a fork.
[Bill plays with a vice, until part of it falls of and hits his foot]:
AAAAOW! OHH!! My foot! I think it's broken!
Uh, well, if it's broken, you're gonna have to get that shoe off.
No! No, no, I - I feel better now. I'm just gonna go ON home.
Don't be silly. Just let me - (tries to remove Bill's shoe) What the...?
Don't look at me! Don't look at me!
[Hank remove Bill's sock, revealing that Bill has a foot fungus. The rest cringe in disgust.]
I never thought I'd say this, but, I don't think I can finish my beer.
It's some kinda Athlete's Foot. I've been using this spray for 10 years. "Quick working" my ass.
The only person I ever showed my toes to was my ex-wife. She used 'em against me in the divorce.
You don't have to be embarrassed about your toes, Bill, it's just a medical condition.
Sure, that's what you say. But I don't see you waving your narrow urethra around for everyone to see.
[Hank looks perplexed.]
DGDale Gribble (to Hank Hill)
You don't know me, I am unknowable.
The law says that if we catch someone doing drugs on the job, we can fire him. So here is what you do: Put on your best suit, hop a Greyhound to Dallas, buy every pill, pipe, and powder you can, then return here and spread the stuff around like roach traps. We will get that boy hooked again!
All due respect, sir, I have a better plan.
Social worker enters
Hello Mr. Hill, I came as fast as I could. From the tone of your phone call it sounded like you had fallen victim to some kind of disability. Tell me all about it.
Yes, I too have realized I suffer from a disability. It is known as GWS, or Good Worker Syndrome. I believe doing a full day's work and giving 110%, and get sick to my stomach I don't see everybody else doing the same. The symptoms include pride, enthusiasm, and a feverish devotion to duty. Used to be a common condition among Americans.
Ugh! People like you who game the system make it hard for the rest of us, the truly disabled. Anthony holds up hand to show he is wearing a wrist brace, likely associated with carpal tunnel I am leaving. Call me if you gives you any more trouble, Leon.
LLeon
Don't call me Leon any more. That was the name I used drugs with. From now on, I want to be known as...Hank Hill.
What?! No, that is going too far; I cannot accommodate that.
It is not up to you, Hank, it is up to "Hank". This man is not your slave, you do not get to name him!
I hate to do this but you leave me no choice. Sir, I quit!
Hank proceeds to depart Strickland Propane
Hank{peeping out door}: Whatever you want, Buck. Effective with my resignation the rolls are down to fourteen employees. And that makes this your business, not the government's.
Buck reads announcement of Americans with Disabilities Act, which applies to business with 15 or more employees
Hot dang, Hank, you have done it!
LLeon
Why, thank you sir.
Not you, you are fired. Leon gasps, as does Anthony, who is now powerless. Buck turns on lights OK, listen up everyone. Strickland is now small enough to skirt the law. Y'all get back to work this instant or you are fired. Loafing employees get themselves in gear; including Debbie, whose rear end was facing everyone when she was lying on a couch Oh no, not you Debbie. Your job is to stay right where you are.
A race is in progress. There is a party on the infield, and Bobby is selling drinks to the guests
WWitchard
Bobby, I need a soda!
Bobby proceeds to overhead crossing zone
WWitchard
Not that way! Just run across.
WWitchard
Don't back-talk the boss man! Ain't you ever cross the highway?! Run where there ain't any cars!
WWitchard
Do it you- you monkey boy! I'm the boss of you!
Bobby is about to climb guardrail.
What the hell?! BOBBY NO! (Hank restrains Bobby.) What are you doing?
I'm going to cross the track and bring Mr. Witchard a soda.
That's crazy! Why would you do something like that?
WWitchard
Go-to here, Go-to boy. I want a soda! Go-to now, you!
Hank, infuriated, chases after Jimmy, ironically running on the track himself in his anger
AAnnouncer
There's a crazy man on the track!
AAnnouncer
Oh, and there goes Gordon into the wall!
PCPit crew guy
You're up!
DBDale and Bill
Boomhauer, Boomhauer, Boomhauer, Yeah!
WWitchard
Ah! (laughing) You can't get me!
BWAAAAAHHH!!! (breaks the caged fence and chases after Witchard)
WWitchard
(screams as Hank kicks his ass)
