Narrator quotes from Hell's Kitchen

For some reason, both Royce and Justin are cooking fish.

Two bass! Let's go!

Oui, Chef! One minute!

One minute!

Hey, who's cooking the bass?

Right here, chef.

I am, chef.

I got your bass.

I have my hands for this order.

I got two more.

Oh my GOD! Hey Royce, are you stupid?!

No.

You've (Royce) got bass there, he's (Justin) got bass there! It's the same table, you idiots! And not ONE of you are fucking communicating, both of you FUCK off out of here!

Fucking hell...

Fuck off! [throws towel at Justin as he walks out]

And in the Red Kitchen...

Where's the pork?

Right here!

Danielle is looking to redeem herself with her second attempt at the pork.

I think it's good. If it's not, I'm going to freak out.

Oh shit! Danielle, he's cutting it. So just get another one going...

He's coming back!

Christina Wilson

Dani, get the pan hot. Right now!

He's coming back! It's raw!

Christina Wilson

Dani, get another pork working right now. Now!

Hey! Just STOP! Raw pork again. Pink and bloody in the middle. I give up. (to Danielle) And one more thing. GET OUT!

The total number of chefs in the dorms is now up to five and in the red kitchen, Barbie is taking special precautions to make sure she isn't joining them.

Hey you, come here you. Give me that. The day we need, look at me, a thermometer. The day we need that to cook a breast of chicken! You, GET OUT!

(interview) I don't know why she can't cook chicken, I really don't. Cooking a breast of chicken is about as easy as taking a shit. Anybody can do that. Are you that dumb?

Tiffany, put that down.

Yes, Chef.

Look at me. Seriously, I've had enough. [slams the pan on the workstation] Shit burned mash. Get out. Get out! I swear to God, I don't give a fuck if the whole team goes home tonight, I - don't - care!

(interview) Chef Ramsay's been on like a kicking out spree right now. I'm scared shitless right now, I'm not going to lie!

Minutes before Hell's Kitchen opens for its ever first fashion night, the red team...

Hey, ladies. Once that last model has walked off the catwalk, [claps] bang! We go!

Yes, chef!

...is standing by, ready for action.

Is everyone ready?

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

Let's go.

...Clemenza on the fish station is waiting for no one.

STOP! Clemenza! What are you doing?!

Scallops, chef.

We're not even open yet! Why is he cooking the scallops?! Oh God, Clemenza. How many portions of scallops have we wasted?

Four.

(interview) Clemenza, what the fuck are you doing?

Clemenza, I am fucking pissed off!!

(interview) Oh, my God. Someone's leaving right now.

ARE YOU READY TO GO HOME?!

No way, chef!

With dinner service complete.

He's really mad.

[to Justin] Yeah, as he should be.

[to Brian] No, really mad.

Chef Scott makes a rare visit to the dorm.

Let's go. Everybody, downstairs right now.

Yes, Chef. [The Blue Team head upstairs]

Chef wants to talk to all of you.

Yes, chef.

Right now.

Stay there, all of you just stay there. There's no way on Earth you're going back in there, I'm done. Red Team finished for you, brilliantly, BRILLIANTLY! How can they be so much better than you?

They're not, Chef.

They're not?

No.

[to Brian] You serve me soupy fucking risotto, (Roshni) wellingtons undercooked, (Patrick) cold lobster twice. [throws his towel] It's an absolute fucking joke!

(interview) He had every right to be mad it was embarrassing. It's our seventh dinner service it's embarrassing.

All of you, get upstairs and decide on two individuals leaving, don't take long. Fuck off. [The Blue Team return to the dorms]

Fucking raw. [returns to the workstation] All of you, come here. All of you!

Yes, chef!

A hanger steak, [gets a piece of steak] raw and perfect. I knew it was too good to be true! (to Royce) Hey you, Rolls-Royce, fuck off!

The women continued to serve just as much attitude as food.

The red team is stuck on their last two tickets.

How long Tiff?

I don't know exactly.

Still waiting for Tiffany's undercooked potato garnish.

Christina Wilson

(interview) You should know that they were your potatoes. That was your component right? That was your idea for the menu right?

I'm sorry. What do you want me to say? Don't give me that look!

Don't get an attitude with me! You're killing my steaks!

I don't know, Kimmie. I don't know.

Tiffany,

Sorry.

No, you're not!

Yes I am!

No, you're fucking not!

Yes I am.

You're the sloppiest cook I've ever seen in my whole entire life!

Sorry.

No, you're not!

Okay, I'm not.

You have such a fucking attitude! Why don't you take a walk? And Dana take over her section.

Yes, chef.

(leaves) Have fun. (interview) Okay, look at Tiffany. Let's make fun of her. I don't care about anything apparently. So, what the fuck? You all just made me look like a fucking idiot. Bye! (cries)

Taste that. How hot is that?

Spicy, spicy.

(returns to the workstation and spits pasta out) All of you, taste that! It's too spicy, and it's disgusting! [throws his spoon away on the workstation]

(takes capellini away) Trash.

And again, scallops cooked beautifully.

(interview) What the fuck is going on? It's like déjà vu in this motherfucker.

(to Zach) How many times have you cooked scallops tonight and not served them?

Twice, chef.

Sorry, bro.

Sebastian, get it together!

Yes, chef!

Come on guys, let's go.

Okay, Mikey-Wikey. (interview) I messed up a few times, but I'm getting in with the groove, I'm playing around, trying to make the environment a little bit looser.

Zacky, talk to me.

(to Michael) We've got three halibut, one branzino.

Zacky-Wacky! [Gordon hears this]

(to Sebastian) Hey, you! Hey, come here, you. “Zacky-Wacky?”

(trying to correct himself) Chef Zach!

Hey, look at me. Hey, look. Is this a fucking joke?

No, chef.

“Zacky-Wacky?!”

Sorry, I apologize about that, chef.

Yeah, do me a favor. GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Fuck off, will you? Get out!

Yes, chef.

Upstairs, GET OUT!

(interview) So Sebastian gets kicked out. Who didn’t see that coming?

(still thinking about it) “Zacky-Wacky?”

What are you doing? [Sebastian shushes him]

(interview) Where the hell are you going, Sebastian? Okay, yeah, you can come back.

Second time! GET OUT!

(interview) God, are you kidding me?

Fuck off! Wacky!

The blue team is now down a chef - and it's up to Jon to handle the appetizer station solo.

I need two minutes, please.

Okay, Danielle, Jessica step forward please. You know what? There's one more chef I'd like to hear from.

With their dinner service loss, the Red team was forced to nominate two chefs for elimination. They put up Danielle and Jessica, but Chef Ramsay has his eye on a third.

Because she could've killed someone tonight: (points to Jacqueline) Jacqueline! Get your arse up here. I mean honestly? Miss Pink Chicken? Unacceptable!

Hey, all of you, come here! ALL OF YOU!

Yes, chef?

Some disgusting pig brought me the sample scrambled eggs. The sample scrambled eggs that I cooked an hour ago. [flashback to where Sous-chef Andi telling both teams to study the sample plates] These guests, they save lives on a daily basis and you want to serve that? JEREMY, DAN! YOU'LL FUCKING KILL SOMEONE WITH THAT!! (tosses the plate on the workstation)

It's early morning and Hell's Kitchen has opened its doors to serve breakfast to a group of much-deserving doctors, nurses and ENTs.

(to Jeremy) You pick that motherfucker up.

Take that garnish back.

Work it again! Let's go!

Fuck off, guys.

While Nedra begs forgiveness in the dining room, back in the Blue kitchen,

Where is the fucking halibut?!

Coming up chef.

Come on, guys! Push it!

(to Ray) Let's go, come on. Get those up.

Ray hurries to deliver his third attempt at the same order of fish.

WHERE IS IT?

(to Dan) Bring that up.

Got it right here, chef. [brings Ray's halibut to the pass]

Come on, come on. Go with that, good job.

Please be cooked. For the love of God, be cooked.

[checks Ray's halibut] Wellington's beautifully cooked, pork's beautifully cooked.

Thank you, chef.

But I have a problem. [returns to the workstation] I have a big fucking problem—YES, I DO!! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation] MERDE!

Fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

Oh, my God!

Oh, fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

(interview) Not again! Dammit, this can't be happening! (to Ray) Come on, Ray!

IT'S JUST RAW! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]

(to Ray) Get three more going. Get three more going. Put them in the oven.

IT'S FUCKED!

(interview) We're going down in flames! Titanic ain't got SHIT on us!

I'M DONE! (points to every member of the Blue team) You, you, you, you, you, you, GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

(interview) I was doing good, dammit.

Did I not say that we're done? I will let you fucking know when you fucking keep leaving in it. (interview) Dan, just leave it alone. I had it fucking perfect.

(Storms into the blue team's dorm with raw halibut) Hey, where are you guys?

Right here, Chef.

I spent 18 hours with you guys today, I give you everything I got, and that's the bullshit you're going to give me in front of Chef Ramsay? Make me look like a dickhead in front of a dining room full of people! I'm beside myself right now with that! I can't look at you guys anymore.

While Barret starts over on the fish, in the Red kitchen, the women are very excited.

Our last ticket!

To be closing in on the finish line.

We got this!

Hey!

Yes, chef?

Shut the fuck up! High-fiving each other, last ticket, it's the same fucking ticket!

It's two and a half hours into dinner service and all of the red diners have been fed. But thanks to Zach's careless performance...

Is that lamb-- (sees that it's overcooked) Oh, please! Does that not look like it's overcooked? Hey, you! Hey, fuck-face!

...the men are struggling with the two remaining tickets and all eyes are on Zach's lamb.

Looks like elephant shit from here!

I understand, chef. I'm just waiting for the fish.

You fucking give me one more excuse, I swear to God, take your jacket and fuck off out of here!

I'm sorry, chef.

Stop making excuses!

Yes, chef.

Two lamb, one wellington, one bass. How long? (Zach doesn't answer; goes over to Zach's station) Put it down, I can do the rest. You can fuck off, Zach.

(interview) Chef Ramsay has just had it. He comes in and says "You know what, Zach? I'm going to work your station now."

Chef, you're going to put it fat side down first?

Now he's asking me stupid questions. "Hey, chef, can I brush my teeth? Hey, chef, uh...can I change my pants?" One mistake and he's so frazzled.

Tortellini, what's inside the filling?

It's just a cheese. It's a packaged tortellini. Fresh tortellini.

Packaged fresh tortellini?

That's how it's sold, chef.

Please tell me you used fresh tomatoes.

Uh, they were canned tomatoes. [audience groans; Gordon throws the dish in the trash without tasting]

Come on! That was a joke!

(interview) His whole meal came out of a box. Who does that? You know, you're cooking for Chef Ramsay.

(to Kashia) Congratulations, that was delicious, well done ladies. Next two dishes. Let's go.

(interview) I'm a little insulted. It's not like it's packaged dog food. [under his breath] Fuck it, that's bullshit, bro.

(to Mike) Come here you. What did you just say?

It's the signature dish challenge and Mike from New Jersey has cost the men their first point and now his mouth may have cost him something else.

[Mike stands in silence] Yeah, okay. You got anything to say to me, say it to my face, not my back.

Got it, chef.

Now, fuck off!

[looks at Gaurav's dish] What is that?

Tuna steak crusted in a little African dukkah spice. (interview) After taking first bite of my dish, he's gonna be in that orgasm. Like the zen mode.

It's dreadful. What a big disappointment.

With Gaurav missing the mark, Sandra from New York has the chance to give the ladies their first lead with her pan-seared cod.

[looks at Sandra's dish] If I ate that, it would back me up like an L.A. fucking freeway. None of you a point. Disgusting.