“Episode Four” quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Blue Team first ticket away, here we go. Four covers, table 22. [slowly] Appetiser: one salad tableside, two risotto, one Caesar salad.

Yes, Chef!

[to Michael] Michael, how was that for you?

Fine, Chef.

[to Ray] Raymond, how was that for you?

Perfect, Chef.

Slow enough?

Yes, Chef.

I mean, fucking hell!

VIP table, NBA player. The risotto is too hard.

[returns and slams the risotto on the workstation] Risotto, a VIP table. Rice is fucking undercooked. [Ray places a pan underneath the workstation] Hey, he's a bit-- (to Ray) Hey, come here you. Give me that pan. [shows an overcooked risotto to the Blue team]

That one--

What are you doing? Wha-wha-wha-- Just what in the fuck are you doing?

(interview) Things are rolling, risotto goes out, awesome. Perfect good, good start.

[slams the pan on the workstation] That's burned and that's hard! [gets and slams the plate on the pan]

I'll put another one in chef.

(interview) Risotto comes back, awesome. Perfect, [deflated tone] this is what we do.

(knocks his hand on the workstation; to Ray) You, grand-dad! Come on! this is a pick up now!

Ten seconds, chef. Right here, chef.

(interview) Chef Ray, watch your motherfucking self and you'd better not make any more mistakes under the fucking sun. You hear me?

KEEP THE FUCKING PAN DOWN!

Yes, chef. I understand, chef.

MOVE, RAY!

Sorry.

(interview) Ray, get your head out of your ass and get this risotto out. We're waiting on you. Waiting on Ray!

Stop! Risotto tastes delicious! (to Ray) Now you've raised the bar.

Thank you, chef.

Hey, don't piss your pants! Just stay focused!

I won't, chef. Yes, chef.

One risotto, why is she cooking all that? (returns to the workstation) Oy, all of you! How many portions are in there?

Three. There's three chef.

Four? Five? (to Jessica) How many is going?

Two chef.

One! Is this a joke for you?

No, chef.

All that time we're waiting!

Sorry, chef.

Five portions of fucking risotto, I need one!

Let's go, bounce back.

(disgusted) Yeah.

(to her team mates) Come on, guys. Let's pick it up. Let's get going.

Throw five, serve one!

Lamb?

(slices his lamb; finds that it's rare) Dude, this is under. I can't send this.

Lamb?

Walk with the lamb, please.

Lamb is not done yet chef.

Oh, fuck off! Christ almighty!

It's still rare in the middle. The middle is rare, the outside are good.

Oh, fuck me.

We have to fire an all new garnish.

(interview, mocking Michael) Waaaaah! The lamb's not cooked! Waaaaah!

Brand new garnish.

(interview) Michael, just sit there and wait! I got it!

Where is this fucking lamb?

Right here chef.

There's the fucking plates! Two minutes been sat there dressed!

Lamb is being cut. It's on its way.

Walking lamb. Behind. (brings his lamb to the pass)

It's there! Hey Bozo That's how open the fucking gap for you!

Yes, chef. Two lamb chef.

(interview) Yelling over, problem solved. Right?

[points to Dan] YOU! HEY, STRING-BEAN! COME HERE!

Yes, chef!

(interview) Wrong.

(raises a chewed up piece of lamb) What the fuck is that?!

Get lamb going now.

What is that? [Dan doesn't answer] Wha... WHAT IS THAT?

Shit, chef.

This needs one more minute in the oven, and that bit there should be a fucking dog's chew!

Yes, chef.

Where would you like it, chef?

Put it there.

Thank you, chef.

[checks her chicken; finds that it's raw] Pink fucking chicken. (returns to the workstation) Ladies!

Yes, chef?

Pink chicken!

Fuck!

(Interview) Raw chicken, like seriously?

Pink chicken. Undercooked, and pink.

Sorry, chef.

[throws his spoon on the workstation as everyone stands around unresponsive] WAKE UP! Come on, Jacqueline!

Yes, chef!

Yes, chef!

Bounce back guys, leave it in the water longer.

Jacqueline!

Get me a pan.

JACQUELINE!

Yes, chef!

There are some things you can't do in a kitchen...

Yes, chef!

...and that's serving raw chicken!

Yes, chef!

JESUS CHRIST!

Lamb? Where is the lamb?

I'll just bring it up, chef. A minute left, chef.

Come on, I'm going to lose those garnish.

A minute away. Garnish is done.

(interview) I'm doing fucking 50,000 things right now, and Dan is failing at the one fucking task that he has. I need a lamb.

(slices his lamb) Zach?

How the fuck?

(interview) Okay, the lamb wasn't cooking fast enough. What the fuck do you want me to do about it other than to put it in the damn oven. [puts his lamb in the oven]

(to Dan) Dan, real time. How long?

(to Zach) How long?

YOU JUST LOOK AT THE FUCKING LAMB! HOW LONG? [goes to the oven] OH, JESUS! FUCK! (interview) Then he asks Zach how long? Are you kidding me? How does that go? (to Dan) Get the fuck out of here! Get out! (interview) Really, if he lays one fucking finger on me, I'm going to beat him all over the fucking room! I don't care if I walk off and go to jail tonight!

(to Dan) Hey, don't stand there!

(to Dan and Michael) Hey, come on! Split it up! [Michael bumps Dan out of his way]

(to Michael) Don't fucking bump me again!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

(interview) Don't bump me! You ain't shit! You want to fucking fight? Come get it!

(to Michael) Hey, hey, hey you! (to Dan) Hey you, HEY FUCK-WIT! Come here you! Come here! [leads Dan and Michael to the pantry]

(interview) Wooo-hoo! Someone's getting it down.

[angrily slams the door] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?

(to Dan) You got to talk to me, bro. That's it.

Alright.

You got to fucking talk to me!

Stop yelling at me.

No, fuck you! Talk to me or get the fuck out and go home!

(to Dan) You're throwing him under the bus all the fucking time!

Don't be sorry, dude!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Don't be sorry!

Look at him and talk at each other!

I'll fix it! I'm sorry!

Let's do it! Come on!

Now it's overcooked.

They're overcooked.

(returns to the workstation) All of you, HEY!

(under her breath) Oh, my God.

The Red team that loves taking the piss because they've flown off a private jet, they've been on a fucking mega super yacht, and they think they're King Dick because they've kissed Céline Dion's arse in fucking Vegas! Come here, you! Touch that.

It's overcooked, chef.

Yes, chef. Overcooked.

Just so--- [sees Danielle walking away] Oh, she disappears, look. Hey.

I'm giving you another one chef. I understand that's overcooked. [brings another wellington to the workstation]

Look at that there. Touch that there.

Yes, chef. Sorry, chef. Here's another one.

And even before touching that one, what do you think that one's going to come out at?

Medium, chef.

Touch that one.

Overcooked, chef.

Overcooked. Overcooked. [slams the tray on the workstation]

(under her breath) Fuck!

(interview) Danielle, girl. Get your shit together, man!

Third time lucky, bingo?!

Perfect, chef. Perfect, chef.

Oh! "Perfect, chef!" (sarcastically)

Sorry, chef. [brings another wellington to the workstation]

So the first two were what?!

My fuck-up, chef. Sorry, chef.

Okay, Danielle, Jessica step forward please. You know what? There's one more chef I'd like to hear from.

With their dinner service loss, the Red team was forced to nominate two chefs for elimination. They put up Danielle and Jessica, but Chef Ramsay has his eye on a third.

Because she could've killed someone tonight: (points to Jacqueline) Jacqueline! Get your arse up here. I mean honestly? Miss Pink Chicken? Unacceptable!

Ladies, you are not the same outfit that opened this competition, let me tell you. (members of the Blue team that won the night's service exchange smiles and grins amongst each other) If you think what you've been through is challenging so far... I... I'm going to turn up the heat. Because I need to start separating the chefs, from the cooks. Got it?

Yes, chef!

Piss off!

Every dinner service, Danielle looked like a deer in the headlights, and that's why she ended up as dead meat.