PMPatrick McCloskey
Forget it, Joe. It's Pumpkintown.
S23Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Cheater
JHJohn Hubert
Trick or treat. I'm a registered sex offender.
Suck my bumpy gourd, McCloskey!
It's not alive! IT'S NOT ALIVE!
S23Fat Gun
RRooster (Chris)
Let’s keep the small talk to a minimum.
MMaverick (Peter)
Got it. So, how’s your dad doing, good?
RRooster
You killed him!
MMaverick
Yeah, and I was more than five miles out, and I could have done anything with his body, but I didn’t.
RRooster
Yeah, the more you say that, the more I don’t think it’s true.
MMaverick (Peter)
So, are you all silent and scarfed because you’re dying?
IIceman (Stewie)
No, is that what people are saying!? No, I’m just on vocal rest for karaoke later. I’m 100% totally fine. I’ve never felt better in my li--
[cut to Iceman's funeral]
MMaverick
Aw, he died.
S23Hard Times at Adam West High High
Chris, we've got less than one minute to get you aroused.
Um... okay.
Close your eyes. You're a 19th century heiress alone in her vast estate and awaiting a visit from the handsome vicar as her dear aunt has recently passed from consumption.
Yeah, that... that's... nothing.
[sighs] Well, I'm not proud of what I'm about to say here, but... go to YouTube and type in "Brazilian Women's Olympic volleyball team practice."
S23China Doll
AAnnouncer
We now return to ER.
Edited for eastern medicine.
MGMark Greene
I need 10 CCs of--
Jinseng root.
BNBlonde nurse
And somebody set this patient up--
Goldfish to nibble his toes.
[Peter Benton gives the patient palpation]
BBenton
We're gonna lose him if we can't get our hands on some--
Baby elephant bones.
[the patient monitoring system shows the patient flatlining]
GGreene
He's coding!
BBenton
There's just one chance: we need--
The lady doctors to kiss. I made some tweaks as well.
S23The Fat Lotus
Oh, no!
JJeffery
[Last Words] I know!
S23Karenheit 451
God, this is the worst day since 9/11.
Hey guys, we're out of dry food.
Brian, they just knocked down the World Trade Centers.
Oh. Did they also knock down the Petco?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Family Guy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.