Camp Lazlo quotes

Lazlo

I'm sorry we sunk your fancy boat, and mistook you for a lake monster, but you gotta understand. We were just trying to help you catch a fish.

Lumpus

Help me? Help me?! You really want to help me?!

Yes.

Lumpus

Help me catch a fish?

Yes.

Lumpus

The only way you three bozos can help me catch a fish is to get as far away from me as possible and not help me at all!

Lazlo

Scoutmaster Lumpus, [opens the monster's mouth] do you need our help? Because you asked us not to help.

Lumpus

[sarcastically] Oh, no. I'm just getting eaten by a ferocious lake monster. Don't worry about me. What makes you think I need your...

Lazlo

Okay! [closes the monster's mouth]

Lumpus

Lazlo!

Lazlo

[opens the monster's mouth again] Yes?

Lumpus

Eh, I do need your help. And look, I caught a fish!

Lazlo

Wow! Hey! Look you guys, a fish! We caught a fish!

Patsy

[crying] I never thought my Lazlo could be...an alien!

Raj

Who-Who are you?

Clam

Wh-What d'ya want?

Lazlo

[sniffs] And why do you smell so nice?

Gretchen

Shut your traps!

Raj

How-how can they smell so nice and be so mean?

Gretchen

[turns on a flashlight to them] Tell us your plans, you disgusting aliens.

Lazlo

[confused] Aliens? We don't know what you're talking about.

Patsy

You think we're gonna fall for that?

Gretchen

We're too smart.

Nina

You said it, Gretchen. Uh, ahem. I mean, number 3.

Lazlo

It's so cold, I can see my breath! [breathing out snowflakes] Hey, what's wrong with Clam?

Raj

[laughs] He has what we call the "brain freeze." [gets a brain freeze with His face except for his nose imploding inside his head]

Lazlo

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Brain freeze! [gets a brain freeze and making funny faces, as the Squirrel Scouts laughed at them outside the cabin]

Gretchen

Be careful!

Nina

Your faces could stick that way.

Patsy

Especially since you just ate 16 gallons of frozen glue.

Nina

And, uh, [her glasses slip] everyone knows that aliens don't eat ice cream. [re-adjusts her glasses]

Lazlo

Oh, yeah? Let's recharge!

Patsy

But I knew kung-fu! [jumps around making karate noises] And ninjitsu! [jumps around making more karate noises] And bok choy! [stands triumphantly]

Ooh! Bok choy!

Raj

She's quite the charmer. She has got ferocious nostrils.

Patsy

I happened to be an expert on snakes. I am a mongoose!

Raj

Wow, that's one angry caribou!

Edward

If you two are finished yapping, I'd like to have my sandwich now.

Ping-Pong

Sure thing. Edward ordered the salami sandwich; [hands a salami sandwich to Edward] hold the mayo. Dave ordered the ham and pea soup; [hands a bowl of ham and pea soup to Dave] hold the ham and peas. And I ordered the snake. [eyes widen] I ordered the snake?!

[look inside the basket] THE SNAKE! [scream]

Lazlo

[hearing their screaming from the distance] What was that?

Raj

I don't even know, but it reminded me of a movie about a melon that ate farmers.

Lazlo

Uh, I thought we were supposed to be looking for Snakey.

Patsy

Uh...Oh, yeah, we are.

Lazlo

But how come we see Snakey in the dark?

Patsy

[talking about Skip] That's funny. Where did he go?

Raj

Great holly! They're dropping like flies!

Lazlo

[running away from the snake with Patsy] But you said you're the greatest snake hunter in the world!

Patsy

I lied!

Lazlo

But what about ninjutsu?! Kung fu?! Bok choy?!

Patsy

Lied, lied, lied!

Lazlo

What about the time you beat up a snake with its own brass knuckles?!

Patsy

What part of "I lied" do you NOT understand?!

♪ Go-cart races sing this song, do-da, do-da. ♪

Raj

♪ Oh-a-do-da-day. ♪

Lazlo

♪ Oh-a-do-da-day. ♪

Clam

♪ Da-day. ♪

♪ Go-cart races sing this song, oh-do-da... ♪

Lumpus

[fed up with the Campers' singing] Will you can it with the singing?! [The Campers stopped after that]

Sir, they're just excited about building their own go-carts for the big annual race.

Lazlo

[tries to sing] G-G-Go-cart.

[as shadow puppet Lumpus] Grumble, grumble, I'm very annoyed. Slinkman! Slinkman!

Lazlo

[laughs] I love this part!

[as shadow puppet Slinkman] Reporting for duty, sir. [as shadow puppet Lumpus] I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out! [as shadow puppet Slinkman] I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight. [as shadow puppet Lumpus, who clears throat]

Lumpus

[walks into Jelly Bean Cabin] Slinkman! Slinkman!

Reporting for duty, sir.

Lumpus

I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out!

I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight.

Yay!

Lazlo

Now then, repeat after me: You are one with the lake!

Raj

I am one with the lake! I am stuck, like a salamander.

Almondine

I haven't taken my log for a walk in a long time.

Raj

[staring down the pool] It looks like a peanut!