Harold quotes from Camp Lazlo

Samson

Dinner music. [Ignatious, Bill, and Mort frightfully take out and play some instruments] Give me some soda pop. [Ted pours some soda pop into his cup; glares fiercely at Wilbert] DID I SAY YOU COULD LOOK AT ME?! [eats his food] This food isn't going to chew itself!

Harold

[showing a photo to Dave] There she is.

Dave

Wow. She's beautiful.

Samson

Let me see that. [takes the photo out of Harold's hand] I've seen better. [stuffs the photo in his pocket] I'll keep it anyway.

Harold

But that was a picture of my mom.

Watch those tusks!

Harold

Sorry.

Edward

Wait a minute.

Raj

What?

Edward

Flying marshmallows?

Raj

True story.

Edward

[short pause] Well, that was the best story I ever heard!

Lazlo

Pass the story stone, Raj.

Raj

Your turn, Chip. [extends his arm over Harold, Milt and Larrison, giving the stone to Chip]

Lazlo

You missed someone, pal.

Raj

Who? Skip?

Lazlo

No, somebody closer. [whispering] Harold.

Raj

[also whispering] Who's Harold? [Lazlo points to the blue walrus scout] Oh! [laughs; offering Harold the story stone] Story stone?

Harold

[protesting] Oh, no thanks.

Lazlo

Oh, come on, Harold. Everybody's got a story to tell.

Edward

[shocked and annoyed by Harold's story about bananas and seeing his toenail growing] Ugh, losers.

[trying to cheer him up] I loved your story! [playfully elbows him] The part about the toenail was like, WOW!

Harold

It was stupid. [sulking in disappointment] Why can't I tell cool stories like Raj (does)?

Hey, why can't I get a life? [he and Larrison laugh hysterically]

Harold

I'll tell you why! All we do is stand in the background and watch the cool guys do stuff. I'm sorry but I'm gonne be cool, or my name's not Harold.

But your name's not Harold.

Harold

Well that's what the cool guys call me!

Raj

Wait a minute. Are you laughing like me?!

Harold

[with his face like Raj's and talking in his impression] Whatever do you mean?

Raj

[screams] Harold, you are a nice guy but hanging out with you is like, hanging out with myself. And I'm surprised by how pretty that is. Let's not hang out anymore. Don't call, don't write, don't drop by unexpectedly.

Harold

But, Raj, I thought...

Raj

Great, bye! Nice knowing ya! [walks off and leaves as Harold looks on in sadness]

Samson

[walking by] My allergies are really acting up today.

Harold

[irritated] I got allergies too! [breathes heavily] Can I be your friend hamster boy?! [Samson walks away from him, uncomfortably; to Chip and Skip, wrapping his arms around them] How 'bout you fellers? Can I be like you? Heck, I'm dumber and stinkier than the two of you combined! [the Dung Beetles walk away from him as well; all the other bean scouts surround him as he breaks down, sobbing] I just wanted to be cool and do fun stuff! [Raj walks up to him] Well, look who decided to drop by unexpectedly!

Raj

Can I… um, talk to you for a sec?

Raj

Um, Harold, I do not think you are a superhero.

Harold

My name's not Harold either. I'll never know who I am.

Edward

[laughing] What a loser! [motions to Milt and Larrison] And if that loser was too cool to hang out with guys, what does that make you? [laughs more]

Harold

[marches over to him and faces him; furiously] You can't talk to my friends like that!

Edward

[sarcastically] Well, if ain't Captain Banana-Pants.

Harold

There's no Banana-Pants here! [strips off his clothes, leaving him only in his underwear] Just me.

Edward

And what are you gonna do?

Harold

I reckon you're about to find out!

Lazlo

So, what do you guys think Slinkman wants to talk to us about?

Harold

I don't know.

Samson

It's a mystery.

Edward

As long as this isn't about me forcing the sheep to eat mud. Which I didn't! Then I don't care what this is about.

[enters] Hey, fellas.

Edward

[shouting] I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! [shuts his mouth]

Okay.

Edward

I can't believe this! They're not complaining on purpose!

Harold

But why would they do that?

Edward

Don't you see? They're jealous of our pinball!

Samson

Yeah, and our hats!

Edward

No Samson. They're not jealous of our hats.

Samson

Our badges?

Edward

Stop talking.