Almondine quotes from Camp Lazlo

Almondine

I haven't taken my log for a walk in a long time.

Almondine

[leaving Jane Doe's cabin; narrating] Miss Doe had unanswered questions of her own. I'd have to look outside of camp for help.

Almondine

[narrating] Suddenly, it all made sense. [runs back to Acorn Flats while calling out to the Jelly Cabin Trio hobos] Thanks, hobos! I'll never forget you guys!

Nina

Patsy, I don't mean to interrupt, but I don't want to hear any more stories. I'm scared.

Almondine

Yeah. Can we just eat our marshmallows and turn in?

Patsy

Oh, I feel kind of bad for Miss Doe. She really had her heart set on this Fru Fru thing.

Gretchen

What does "Fru Fru" mean, anyway?

Patsy

Well, why don't we go look it up? Come on! [later in the cabin, she and her friends are searching the word of "Fru Fru" in the dictionary] All right, let's see. "Phish… Phrank." [finds the word "Phru Phru" (that starts with "Ph")] Aha! "Phru Phru: Refers to the mysterious ceremony in which some primitive tribes believe they are given the ability to fly." [puzzled] Ability to fly? Oh, that's weird.

Nina

[realizes] Wait a minute! Don't you girls remember the Fru Fru motto?

"Be true to the Fru Fru spirit we adore and your heart will soar forever more."

Patsy

Soar! She was telling us that we would fly! That's why she wanted us to do all that dumb girly stuff.

Gretchen

So we could be given the ability to fly?

Almondine

I think I'd like to be given the ability to fly.

Samson

[returns to camp and to his cabin after getting battered by the Squirrel Scouts] That was really strange. [hears voices and peeks inside his cabin, seeing the Squirrel Scouts already in there and looking around]

Look! His pillow!

Nina

That's where he lays his sweet, sweet head.

Gretchen

I found his socks!

Almondine

I found his tissues!

Patsy

I found his dandruff!

Gretchen

Let me have some!

Patsy

Get your own!

Gretchen

I said, give me some of that Samson dander!

Nina

[points to Samson outside the cabin door] Look!

Gretchen

It's him!

[dreamily] Hi, Samson.

Samson

Hello.

Can we do anything for you?

Samson

Can you put my dandruff back where you found it?

Almondine

Is she okay?

Patsy

[dizzy with her hair in a mess] I'm okay.

[laughs] Look at her hair!

Patsy

My hair? [gasps in shock, screaming] MY HAIR!!!

Almondine

[narrating] Who is that desperate bird? That desperate bird is me, and my name… is Almondine. [Fade to six hours earlier] Six hours ago, I was just another squirrel scout.

[walking up next to her as they stand in front of the Wig Out tent] Hey, Almondine. Are you ready for the annual Acorn Flats Wig Out?

Almondine

[spins her head around 360 degrees, creeping Toodie out, and stops] Sure am. [narrating] Or at least an owl squirrel scout with a gifted third vertebrae. Yes, the Wig Out-- a special night when girls dress up with their finest wigs and get to be pretty. [walks into the tent and enters the dressing room where all the other girls are working on their wigs] I've been working on my wig for two weeks straight, and I was pretty sure I nailed it. [removes the blanket that's covering her wig, revealing that it looks just like her real hair]

Ladies, how do we all feel about Almondine's wig?

Nina

Ugh. The hat. What were you thinking?

Almondine

It's to keep the wig arm. [Nina and Patsy look at each other confused] I'm just trying to be practical.

People are driving hundreds of miles to the wig out, and they ain't coming for practical. They want the pretties, right, gals?

Like flowers.

Telephones.

Someone get Almondine some curlers. She's got work to do. [walks away]

Patsy

We've got six hours to go! Are you sure you're gonna have something pretty?

Almondine

No problem.

Patsy

Oh, good. 'cause if your wig's not pretty, it'll ruin the whole wig out. [laughs as she and her friends leave]

Almondine

[narrating] "Pretty." There was that word again. I had no idea what it meant.

Almondine

Miss Doe, what is pretty?

Jane

Well, little girls are pretty, and cold left overs are pretty!

Almondine

Cold leftovers?

Almondine

[looks at her reflection in the mirror for a second, then takes off her glasses and gets to work; narrating] I did things to my face that I had never done before. After a bucket of paint and a gallon of elbow grease, I was ready to see the new me. [puts her glasses back on and looks at her reflection, shocked to see that she looks exactly the same as she was before] Nothing. I guess pretty was just for pretty people. Not for plain practical birds…like me.

Patsy

[enters the dressing room with Nina and Gretchen] Hi, Almondine! Are you ready for the Wig Out?

Almondine

[runs out of the tent, bawling in realizing she let the Wig Out and herself down] Forget it! [throws the magazine on the ground in frustration and runs away into the woods; narrating] The Wig Out was going to be a disaster, and it was all my fault. I had to get away, somewhere else, under a pretty name like "Tiffany" or "Alexis", at some other camp, a camp where they don't know me, a camp where they're not so pretty. [finds Lazlo, Raj, and Clam, all behaving like hobos]

Lazlo

Looks like we got company, boys. Sit a spell, stranger.

Almondine

[takes a seat on a wooden crate box] Brother, can you spare me a banana? [puts her hand on her stomach, starving to death] I haven't eaten all day.

Raj

[gives her a banana] Well, what you been up to?

Almondine

Chasing a dream.

Raj

Doesn't look like she caught it.

Almondine

Thought I knew what pretty was. Turns out, I don't know anything about it.

Lazlo

Aw, that's nothing. Whatever makes you different is what makes you pretty.

Raj

Yep, and we've got more pretty than we know what to do with.

Yeah!

Almondine

You do?

Raj

Take me. You know how elephants are supposed to remember everything?

Almondine

Yeah.

Raj

Well, I can't remember anything. No, really. Test me.

Almondine

What did you have for lunch today?

Raj

Okay, yeah. I had one of those…uh…things between two, uh, slices of things. [facepalms] Oh! What do you call?

Almondine

Oh, a sandwich?

Raj

Huh? You want a sandwich? What did you say?

Lazlo

Isn't that pretty?

Almondine

Well, it's different at least.

You! You ruined our Wig Out-- the only time any of us get a chance to really express ourselves!

And now you're gonna pay!

Patsy

[off-screen] Hold it, folks! [bolts up next to Almondine, defending her] She was trying to express herself, too! Maybe it wasn't pretty, but it was 100% Almondine.

Almondine

Yeah, well, I may not be pretty, but I'm gorgeous! Just the way I am!

Patsy

Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Gorgeous!

Almondine

Gretchen? GRETCHEN!

Gretchen

Look, Almondine, I already told you, the Wingnut Sisterhood Club is an exclusive club!

Almondine

Uhh… What makes it exclusive?

Gretchen

What do you got?

Almondine

Well, um… Oh! I can spot a mouse from three miles and can write with both hands!

Gretchen

Then we're exclusive of ambidextrous birds of prey. Now, SCRAM!