Skip quotes from Camp Lazlo

Skip

I can't see a gosh darn thing out of these goggles, can you see anything, Chip?

Edward

Do you imbeciles really need to be wearing your goggles before you get in the water?

Chip

I don't know, but I have my floaties!

Edward

[after seeing Lazlo, Raj and Clam falling down the waterfall] Hooray! [seeing the trio coming out of the water] Whatever.

Hooray!

Edward

[grabs his shirt] Gimme my shirt back. [walks off]

Chip

[to Skip] Is he gonna take his pants back too?

Edward

Here comes the prediction, campers! [looks inside the wig with words that say...; thinking] "Edward will smile for Lazlo?" Will smile...for Lazlo?

Skip

What does it say?

Samson

Yeah. [gets knocked over on his side by a throwing volleyball] Tell us what the prediction is.

Edward

[as his grin turns to a frown] Um...Nothing. Madame Lazlo is a fraud, a fake. You should all forget the whole thing ever happened. My face hurts.

Lazlo

By the wondrous Leaky waters,

Samson

And Great Mount White Head,

Stands the pretty good Camp Kidney,

Not the cleanest, not the smartest,

Raj

Not the best are we,

Clam

But!

Proud to be the second best camp,

Here on Lake Leaky!

Raj

[to Lazlo] Slinkman has never gotten us out early for announcements before. [sees Slinkman in his full body cast in the wheelchair, looking very annoyed] Uh-oh.

Listen up, campers. Due to our mishap yesterday involving... Well, [through clenched teeth] I won't mention any names, but their initials are... CHIP AND SKIP!!!

Yay!/Whoo-hoo!

Chip

He said our initials!

We are reinstating the rule that all cabin leaders are responsible for their bunk mates. [Campers gasped] That means keep them from hurting themselves or others.

Edward

Wait a minute. What does that mean, babysitting?

In your case, Edward, it means dung-sitting, 24/7.

Edward

WHAT?!?!

Chip

Edward's gonna dung-sit?

Skip

Does that mean he can sit on us?

Edward

[desperately] No! [grabbing Slikman, causing him to fall down] I don't want to be a dung-sitter! I beg you! You can't do that to me!

I'm sorry, Edward, it's new... camp... policy! [shoves Edward off him with his feet and onto Chip and Skip]

Chip

Hey, Edward, are you gonna sit on us for a while?

Skip

I don't know if you wanna do that. We just had beans.

Edward

[sulking grumpily to himself] I hate my life.

A question; What's 20 billion times katillion?

Skip

480 lumpillion.

Wow!

Ping-Pong

Tell me, how many tubes of toothpaste will I use in a lifetime?

Chip

You haven't finished your first one.

Ping-Pong

They're totally right! [his tooth falls out]

Lazlo

Professors, in your educated opinion, do you believe our sun will be a future habitat for Lava People

Skip

Well, actually Lazlo, in five billion years, our sun will be a Red Giant, engulfing three planets in our solar system, after which it will go supernova.

Edward

[looking at a brown, muddy blob] What is it?

Chip

A computer.

Skip

We made it out of twigs and mud.

The current operator is not smart enough to run this computer.

Edward

[over the radio] They're getting closer! This isn't a stunt! Call the coast guard!

Samson

[enters their cabin] Hey, guys! Chip! Skip! Come on, you two! We're gonna go watch Edward getting eaten by yetis!

Cool!

Lazlo

Come on! Hurry!

Clam

[while carrying Raj] Save Edward! Save Edward!

Dave

Where you going?

Raj

Radio station.

Clam

Save Edward.

Dave

[to Ping Pong] Want to watch Edward get eaten by yetis?

Ping Pong

It beats sitting here.

Edward

[still freaking out] Help! I lied about last night! This is real now! [voice cowering] This has been...Edward...After Dark. [screams as the yetis enter]

Raj

Are we too late?

Lazlo

[solemnly] Yes, Raj.

Raj

[to Clam] Can you put me down now?

Chip

[holding a radio] Goodbye, Edward.

Lumpus

My old cabin could sure use an upgrade. Dum-dum, dum-dum, DUUMM. [destroys the old cabin model to show the upgrade model] Oh, the official scoutmaster upgrade? Well yes of course I know I deserve it for keeping my temper and Roman quota for three years and running. [Slinkman knocks the door as he hide models] What?! [Chip and Skip are crying] Slinkman. Why are they weeping?

Because Skip and Chip’s camp dues haven't been paid up in months. I have no choice but to send them home to their three nannies [throws backwards the notebook] it’s scout regulations.

Chip

We love camp. [crying]

Skip

We don't want to go home. [crying]

Lumpus

[worried] Home? Slinkman. We can't send them home. [angry] If we do it will ruin my hill Roman streak. [getting worried] And I won't get my cabin upgrade.

Officially, the only way they can stay is if they have jobs, here in camp to pay off what they owe.

Lumpus

[being happy] YES JOBS! Problem solved.

Chef Mcmuesli, I'm assigning Chip and Skip here to work for the mess hall.

Chef Mcmuesli

Oh alrighty then boys let's get to work you'll put these hair nets. So what I'd like for you guys to do is... [notices that their hair nets are mainly wrong]

Skip

I saw a firetruck.

Skip

What do you recommend? [Chip fills all the tray from rice] It needs something. [thinks what needs, meanwhile a fly dies by the insects killer and falls into the tray. he soon speaks to Chip] You’re a genius [although the dead fly do this]

Lazlo

Ugh... [walks backwards disgustedly]

Raj

I'm not hungry anymore.

Clam

We might throw up.

Lumpus

[annoyed] OH, I'LL TAKE THAT! [chews the tray and throws up off-screen]

Lumpus

FLIP AND DIP!

Yeah?

Lumpus

MOVE THAT MOUNTAIN!

Yes, Sir.

[pointing Lumpus] Really, all this for a cabin upgrade.

Lumpus

[screams and tries to leave but the last mountain squashes Lumpus] Ow!

Lazlo

Wanna play shadow puppets?

Samson

I just drop teddy at the Laundromat.

Edward

[goes into his cabin] Phew! Goodbye camp Hello dreamland. [noticed Clam was in his bed and screams] WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BUNK?!

Clam

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BUNK?!

Clam

But I Love being Edward.

Edward

You're not Edward, I'M EDWARD!

Clam

You're not Edward, I'M EDWARD!

Edward

Grr! Hey, stink sacks!

Clam

Hey, stink sacks!

Edward

Will you tell this fruitcake who Edward is?!

Clam

Will you tell that fruitcake who Edward is?!

Skip

Are we dreaming?

Chip

I think so.

See?!

Clam

[from inside] Nobody's interesting!

Edward

[from inside] Don't copy me!

Clam

[from inside] Stop doing that!

Edward

[from inside] Why are you such an idiot?! [the Bean Scouts wake up and goes to Edward's Cabin and complain] You can go to sleep after you tell this imitation who the original Edward is!

Clam

Not in this lifetime, butterball!

Samson

Okay, now that is Edward.

Lazlo

[walks up to Clam and Edward] Excuse me. Pardon me Fred. Pardon me hippo guy. Uh beg pardon pig character that I've not met until now. [chuckles] Looks like we've got ourselves a little mix up. Hmm. What we need here is a good old fashion face off to find the real Edward. Let's start with Edward on the Right.

Edward

Edward on the right?! THERE IS NO EDWARD ON THE RIGHT!!! I'M THE ONLY EDWARD!!!!

BOOOO!!!!

Too wimpy!

Lazlo

Well, I guess that was pretty good.

Clam

I'm surrounded by idiots!

Lazlo

Yeah that's him!

Edward

This camp is only big enough for one Edward!

Edward on the right! Edward on the right!

Edward

[leaves his cabin] If he's Edward then who does that make me Clam? Ugh can't think of the worse...Wait a minute. Wait just one minute.

Lazlo

Oh, um, hello there, Edward. What can I do for ya?

Edward

[imitating] Duh, me Clam.

Lazlo

Do you have something stuck in your throat, Edward?

Edward

No [grabs the picture] Duh, Clam. I am Clam.

Lazlo

Oh, I get it. He likes our picture.

Raj

Oh, flattery will get you everywhere, Edward.

Edward

Clam!!! I'm impersonating Clam, you idiots!!!

Raj

Okay, is he still doing Clam?

Lazlo

I think he's trying to do Edward again. Oooh, look what time it is. Well, Clam, we better get down to the mess hall. We don't want to miss breakfast.

Dave

How come we're having dinner for breakfast?

Ping Pong

This is highly logical.

Lazlo

Good morning, friendship campers!

Raj

Good morning, Camp Kidney!

Lazlo

Come on! You can do it.

Edward

Uh, I'm Clam.

Raj

Ooooh, he's really improving.

Chip

Are we asleep?

Skip

I think so.

Samson

Hey, Ed Man. Why don't you cut in front of me?

Clam

Don't mind if I do.

Chef McMuesli

Oh, hey, Edward. That was a lot of fun yesterday. How about a second helping?

Edward

Hey. Uh who cares about Edward? He's a jerk.

Chip

Is your dream about Edward?

Skip

I think so.

Clam

And I said to the guy "what do I look like a Squirrel Scout?"

Edward

Uh, Clam no think new Edward is so funny.

Samson

Who's that supposed to be?

Clam

Well, if it isn't Clam. Clam here is so short when it rains. He's the last to know.

Edward

[voiceover] That should be me up there getting all that attention. Getting laughs at someone else's expense. He's already had his day with the gooseberry. [gets an idea; spoken] He's not Edward and I can prove it! [laughs] Clam loves gooseberry bushes! [eats gooseberries out of a bush] Mmm gooseberries! Who can resist them?! [eats more gooseberries] Too bad you can't eat any of these delicious gooseberries! Edward hates goose berries! [spits out gooseberries]

Clam

Gooseberries?

Edward

I can't even remember when I last had gooseberries this good!!

Clam

[normal voice] Duh, gooseberries! [drooling]

Samson

Please tell me that's not drool.

Clam

Not Edward anymore! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! [eats the goosberries]

Edward

I win! I'm the king of the Edwards! EUUUUUUUUAGGGH!!! [starts to have his gooseberry allergy] Gooseberry hives?! Well at least I'm still Edward.

Edward

[panicking over the egg] WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!

Chip

Aren't you gonna lay another one?

Skip

We don't have to watch.

Edward

The Ed-man is going to calmly walk over here...he's going to close his eyes...and when he opens them, he's going to wake up from this nightmare. [shuts his eyes tight]

Skip

Sneaky!

Edward

[to himself] WAKE UP, EDWARD! There, it worked!