Lazlo quotes from Camp Lazlo

Lazlo

Lamar wasn't a Lamar, he was a Lauren!

Lazlo

Okay guys! Time for dinner! [the baby leeches start sucking on Clam] Wow! What an appetite! You'll be on solid food in no time.

Lazlo

[singing] Oh...Roses are blue, and violets are to. Candy is so sweet but not as sweet as, well, actually it's also sticky just like your hair right after you comb it with your mom's comb that has sticky globs of hair spray and your cow lick gets all sticky and it won't go down and you look like a Sasquatch all day...I got the no-good lousy blues...Oh, the birds, they gotta swim, and fish, they gotta fly, Sometimes I feel like living, some times I wanna forget... All about having to leave camp and go back to school and have the teacher call on me when I don't know the answer 'cause she has some kind of radar that tells her when I don't have a clue and I'm gonna look like a dummy in front of the whole class until recess when I can scream and have fun again...And forget about the no-good lousy BLUES!

Lazlo

But Scout Master Lumpus, we're supposed to have fun!

Lazlo

Love sickness, love sickness, fly away home. Love sickness, love sickness, leave Clam alone.

Lazlo

[repeated line] Pizza, French fry!

Lazlo

Gretchen, look out! [bursts into the restaurant] GRETCHEN!!! [Edward opens fire] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! [gets hit, and reveals that he's wearing the "I'm a Jerk" t-shirt]

Lazlo

No holidays,Too gloom! Well we can't have a date without something...Now what would make a good holiday that everyone enjoys. [starts to get surprise by giving an idea. Which he looked at the gooseberry shrub and writes "Goose berry shrub whoreshipping day"] Lazlo-Goose berry shrub worshipping day! Clam can get the kick out of that! He loves gooseberries!

Lazlo

Mr. Slinkman, where would are society be without books? Think of the notebook, think of the phone book...and the most greatest book of all...THE COMIC BOOK!

Lazlo

I'm sorry we sunk your fancy boat, and mistook you for a lake monster, but you gotta understand. We were just trying to help you catch a fish.

Lumpus

Help me? Help me?! You really want to help me?!

Yes.

Lumpus

Help me catch a fish?

Yes.

Lumpus

The only way you three bozos can help me catch a fish is to get as far away from me as possible and not help me at all!

Lazlo

Scoutmaster Lumpus, [opens the monster's mouth] do you need our help? Because you asked us not to help.

Lumpus

[sarcastically] Oh, no. I'm just getting eaten by a ferocious lake monster. Don't worry about me. What makes you think I need your...

Lazlo

Okay! [closes the monster's mouth]

Lumpus

Lazlo!

Lazlo

[opens the monster's mouth again] Yes?

Lumpus

Eh, I do need your help. And look, I caught a fish!

Lazlo

Wow! Hey! Look you guys, a fish! We caught a fish!

Raj

Who-Who are you?

Clam

Wh-What d'ya want?

Lazlo

[sniffs] And why do you smell so nice?

Gretchen

Shut your traps!

Raj

How-how can they smell so nice and be so mean?

Gretchen

[turns on a flashlight to them] Tell us your plans, you disgusting aliens.

Lazlo

[confused] Aliens? We don't know what you're talking about.

Patsy

You think we're gonna fall for that?

Gretchen

We're too smart.

Nina

You said it, Gretchen. Uh, ahem. I mean, number 3.

Lazlo

It's so cold, I can see my breath! [breathing out snowflakes] Hey, what's wrong with Clam?

Raj

[laughs] He has what we call the "brain freeze." [gets a brain freeze with His face except for his nose imploding inside his head]

Lazlo

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Brain freeze! [gets a brain freeze and making funny faces, as the Squirrel Scouts laughed at them outside the cabin]

Gretchen

Be careful!

Nina

Your faces could stick that way.

Patsy

Especially since you just ate 16 gallons of frozen glue.

Nina

And, uh, [her glasses slip] everyone knows that aliens don't eat ice cream. [re-adjusts her glasses]

Lazlo

Oh, yeah? Let's recharge!

Patsy

But I knew kung-fu! [jumps around making karate noises] And ninjitsu! [jumps around making more karate noises] And bok choy! [stands triumphantly]

Ooh! Bok choy!

Raj

She's quite the charmer. She has got ferocious nostrils.

Patsy

I happened to be an expert on snakes. I am a mongoose!

Raj

Wow, that's one angry caribou!

Edward

If you two are finished yapping, I'd like to have my sandwich now.

Ping-Pong

Sure thing. Edward ordered the salami sandwich; [hands a salami sandwich to Edward] hold the mayo. Dave ordered the ham and pea soup; [hands a bowl of ham and pea soup to Dave] hold the ham and peas. And I ordered the snake. [eyes widen] I ordered the snake?!

[look inside the basket] THE SNAKE! [scream]

Lazlo

[hearing their screaming from the distance] What was that?

Raj

I don't even know, but it reminded me of a movie about a melon that ate farmers.