Clam quotes from Camp Lazlo

Clam

Puzzle done! Back in box.

Clam

Oblivion!

Clam

What if he goes poopie? [Baby Raj releases a loud fart as he messes his diaper] Too late.

Lazlo

I'm sorry we sunk your fancy boat, and mistook you for a lake monster, but you gotta understand. We were just trying to help you catch a fish.

Lumpus

Help me? Help me?! You really want to help me?!

Yes.

Lumpus

Help me catch a fish?

Yes.

Lumpus

The only way you three bozos can help me catch a fish is to get as far away from me as possible and not help me at all!

Raj

Who-Who are you?

Clam

Wh-What d'ya want?

Lazlo

[sniffs] And why do you smell so nice?

Gretchen

Shut your traps!

Raj

How-how can they smell so nice and be so mean?

Gretchen

[turns on a flashlight to them] Tell us your plans, you disgusting aliens.

Lazlo

[confused] Aliens? We don't know what you're talking about.

Patsy

You think we're gonna fall for that?

Gretchen

We're too smart.

Nina

You said it, Gretchen. Uh, ahem. I mean, number 3.

Patsy

But I knew kung-fu! [jumps around making karate noises] And ninjitsu! [jumps around making more karate noises] And bok choy! [stands triumphantly]

Ooh! Bok choy!

Raj

She's quite the charmer. She has got ferocious nostrils.

Patsy

I happened to be an expert on snakes. I am a mongoose!

Raj

Wow, that's one angry caribou!

♪ Go-cart races sing this song, do-da, do-da. ♪

Raj

♪ Oh-a-do-da-day. ♪

Lazlo

♪ Oh-a-do-da-day. ♪

Clam

♪ Da-day. ♪

♪ Go-cart races sing this song, oh-do-da... ♪

Lumpus

[fed up with the Campers' singing] Will you can it with the singing?! [The Campers stopped after that]

Sir, they're just excited about building their own go-carts for the big annual race.

Lazlo

[tries to sing] G-G-Go-cart.

[as shadow puppet Lumpus] Grumble, grumble, I'm very annoyed. Slinkman! Slinkman!

Lazlo

[laughs] I love this part!

[as shadow puppet Slinkman] Reporting for duty, sir. [as shadow puppet Lumpus] I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out! [as shadow puppet Slinkman] I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight. [as shadow puppet Lumpus, who clears throat]

Lumpus

[walks into Jelly Bean Cabin] Slinkman! Slinkman!

Reporting for duty, sir.

Lumpus

I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out!

I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight.

Yay!

Raj

Oh this is nice you guys are very civilized.

Clam

Like hot tub, like hot tub.

Do you like Big Hairy Mountain Man massage?

Lazlo

[to Raj, who keeps eating some leftover marshmallows from his hat] Didn't you read the sign? There's a shortage. I thought we made a jelly cabin pact?

Clam

Jelly!

Lazlo

How can you keep eating marshmallows when you gave your word?

Raj

I thought we were marshmallow buddies!

Lazlo

[takes the marshmallows away from Raj] What about the Jelly Cabin pact?

Raj

[takes them back] Marshmallow Buddies!

Lazlo

[grabs it again] Jelly Cabin pact! [Raj eats a few marshmallows] Raj!

Raj

[points with his finger] Hey, what's that?

Lazlo

[as all the squirrel scouts glare annoyingly at him for showing up late] What's goin' on, ladies?

Patsy

I'll tell you what's going on! This shindig…

Raj

Hoedown?

Clam

Hallabaloo?

This whatever it is!

Lazlo

Are you talkin' about the dance?

Lumpus

That's it!

What's it?

Lumpus

This is my ticket outta here! I can finally say good bye to Camp Kidney... [changes the map of Camp Kidney to a world map] And hello to the world! All I have to do is find that one genius. I wonder who it is? [watches Clam outside from a window]

Clam

Apples! [bangs his head against the tree]

Lumpus

Well, we know who it's not.

Clam

Painting done! [shows it to scoutmaster Lumpus]

Lumpus

Oh, yes. Very nice. [mumbles] Worst thing I've ever seen. [gives painting back to Clam as Lumpus walks away] When am I going to find my genius, Slinkman?

Clam

[turns over painting to reveal the Mona Lisa] Uhhh...painting done?

Lazlo

Did you hear that? The soap dispensers makes a silly sound. It's a good thing we're behaving, or I'd be tempted to make it again!

Clam

Press it again.

Edward

You'd expect me to eat a plate of plain mustard?

Clam

It has zing.

Edward

Here's your zing.