Chip quotes from Camp Lazlo

I can't see a gosh darn thing out of these goggles, can you see anything, Chip?

Do you imbeciles really need to be wearing your goggles before you get in the water?

Chip

I don't know, but I have my floaties!

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Boy I'd give the shirt off my back to see those losers in harms way. [Chip rips off Edward's shirt] Hey! What's the idea?!

Chip

See? [points the trio hanging over the waterfall]

[excitedly rips his pants off] Here, take my pants, too!

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[after seeing Lazlo, Raj and Clam falling down the waterfall] Hooray! [seeing the trio coming out of the water] Whatever.

CSChip and Skip

Hooray!

[grabs his shirt] Gimme my shirt back. [walks off]

Chip

[to Skip] Is he gonna take his pants back too?

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Does anyone even know what hot dogs are made of anyway?!

Chip

I'm suddenly feeling like pizza, what about you?

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[Scoutmaster Lumpus and the Bean Scouts gather in the forest]

Today, we take part in the time-honored tradition of placing relics of today into time capsules to be opened by future generations of tomorrow. What do you got?

IIgnatious

[holding an alarm clock] Time for the time capsule! [places it in the capsule]

Next! [screams when he sees Wilbert with big red lips] Bee sting?!

WWilbert

[removes the lips, revealing they were actually wax lips] Wax lips.

[smacks his forehead and groans] Next!

[Wilbert puts the wax lips in the time capsule. The Dung Beetles are inside]

DBDung Beetles

We're ready!

Chip

For the future!

Next.

[arrives] Hey, Scoutmaster Lumpus.

What is it, kid?

Did you have a time capsule back when you went to Camp Kidney?

[flatly] Mmm-hmm.

Wow! So what did you put in it?

My youth.

How 'bout you, Slinkman?

What did you put in it?

Clam

Slinkman put in?

[The other scouts agree]

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[Everyone is singing the Camp Kidney Anthem]

By the wondrous Leaky waters,

Samson

And Great Mount White Head,

CCampers

Stands the pretty good Camp Kidney,

Not too bad, all said!

CSChip and Skip

Not the cleanest, not the smartest,

Not the best are we,

Clam

But!

Proud to be the second best camp,

CCampers

Here on Lake Leaky!

Give us flea infested blankets,

Cabins that are old,

Loudspeakers that pop and garble,

Showers full of mold! (Hi, showers!)

Healthy food and giant head lice,

They will never break

The spirit of our Kidney Campers (Slinkman: What is going on?!)

Here on Leaky [Slinkman hit the brakes on the bus as the song abruptly ends] Lake!

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[on the intercom] Attention, campers. The department of forestry has reminded us once again to stop hitting our heads against boulders.

Chip

[to Skip] There's that voice again.

[on the intercom] On a similar note, the fish and game department has informed us that it's not wise to play This Little Piggy with the sleeping bears.

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BBear

[appears out of nowhere, squashing Slinkman] GAH!!! NO MORE LITTLE PIGGY! NO MORE LITTLE PIGGY, PLEASE! [runs off screaming]

Chip

That is one smart bear.

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[The next morning, all the campers are in their jammies]

[to Lazlo] Slinkman has never gotten us out early for announcements before. [sees Slinkman in his full body cast in the wheelchair, looking very annoyed] Uh-oh.

Listen up, campers. Due to our mishap yesterday involving... Well, [through clenched teeth] I won't mention any names, but their initials are... CHIP AND SKIP!!!

CSChip and Skip

Yay!/Whoo-hoo!

Chip

He said our initials!

We are reinstating the rule that all cabin leaders are responsible for their bunk mates. [Campers gasped] That means keep them from hurting themselves or others.

Wait a minute. What does that mean, babysitting?

In your case, Edward, it means dung-sitting, 24/7.

WHAT?!?!

Chip

Edward's gonna dung-sit?

Does that mean he can sit on us?

[desperately] No! [grabbing Slikman, causing him to fall down] I don't want to be a dung-sitter! I beg you! You can't do that to me!

I'm sorry, Edward, it's new... camp... policy! [shoves Edward off him with his feet and onto Chip and Skip]

Chip

Hey, Edward, are you gonna sit on us for a while?

I don't know if you wanna do that. We just had beans.

[sulking grumpily to himself] I hate my life.

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NNorman

A question; What's 20 billion times katillion?

480 lumpillion.

BSBean Scouts

Wow!

Ping-Pong

Tell me, how many tubes of toothpaste will I use in a lifetime?

Chip

You haven't finished your first one.

Ping-Pong

They're totally right! [his tooth falls out]

Professors, in your educated opinion, do you believe our sun will be a future habitat for Lava People

Well, actually Lazlo, in five billion years, our sun will be a Red Giant, engulfing three planets in our solar system, after which it will go supernova.

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[looking at a brown, muddy blob] What is it?

Chip

A computer.

We made it out of twigs and mud.

CComputer

The current operator is not smart enough to run this computer.

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[over the radio] They're getting closer! This isn't a stunt! Call the coast guard!

[Chip and Skip begin crying]

Samson

[enters their cabin] Hey, guys! Chip! Skip! Come on, you two! We're gonna go watch Edward getting eaten by yetis!

CSChip and Skip

Cool!

Come on! Hurry!

Clam

[while carrying Raj] Save Edward! Save Edward!

Where you going?

Radio station.

Save Edward.

[to Ping Pong] Want to watch Edward get eaten by yetis?

Ping Pong

It beats sitting here.

[still freaking out] Help! I lied about last night! This is real now! [voice cowering] This has been...Edward...After Dark. [screams as the yetis enter]

[The campers arrived too late as the lights of the radio station went out]

Are we too late?

[solemnly] Yes, Raj.

[to Clam] Can you put me down now?

[Clam puts Raj down]

Chip

[holding a radio] Goodbye, Edward.

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My old cabin could sure use an upgrade. Dum-dum, dum-dum, DUUMM. [destroys the old cabin model to show the upgrade model] Oh, the official scoutmaster upgrade? Well yes of course I know I deserve it for keeping my temper and Roman quota for three years and running. [Slinkman knocks the door as he hide models] What?! [Chip and Skip are crying] Slinkman. Why are they weeping?

Because Skip and Chip’s camp dues haven't been paid up in months. I have no choice but to send them home to their three nannies [throws backwards the notebook] it’s scout regulations.

Chip

We love camp. [crying]

We don't want to go home. [crying]

[worried] Home? Slinkman. We can't send them home. [angry] If we do it will ruin my hill Roman streak. [getting worried] And I won't get my cabin upgrade.

Officially, the only way they can stay is if they have jobs, here in camp to pay off what they owe.

[being happy] YES JOBS! Problem solved.

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[Lumpus gets in crying] Are you hurt, Scoutmaster?

[sadly] Paper cut!

Where? [the phone rings] Huh, there goes the phone. You boys can bandage him up, right? [Lumpus sounds like a hurted puppy dog] You'll be fine. [speaking to the phone] Look how many times do I have to tell you mechanics what to do with my car? I'm going to take you through it step by step for the last time so listen up.

Chip

Hey Nurse Leslie, we bandaged him. What else should we do?

Step one: open the hood.

Chip

Open the hood. [Chip and Skip hurting Scoutmaster Lumpus]

Then lift the engine.

Chip

Lift the engine. [staying hurting Scoutmaster Lumpus]