[Stan and Francine in the market]
Saudi Arabia is the greatest country in the world!
FrancineGreatest country in the world?
[singing]
We packed our bags we hopped a plane, we left our happy home.
Uh, Francine, singing is kinda illegal here...
Francine
The culture seemed a bit insane, but you said "Hey, when in Rome..."
Uh, seriously Francine ix-nay on the inging-say..
Francine
Maybe you've got no reason to complain...
But I've got no Y chromosome.
[speaking]
So here's what I don't like about Saudi Arabia. Hit it!
You can't go out unless you are escorted by a man.
And when you do you come home with a butt crack full of sand.
No alcohol, no rum and cokes, and no Dom Perignon.
At least a girl can have a smoke.
Oh it's a land of joy, if you are a boy.
But if you are a girl, it's the worst place in the world.
Francine
Oh but I'm just getting started.
American girls, we do pilates.
Starve ourselves until we're hotties.
Why? Because we like our bodies!
Check me out, you uptight Saudis!
[Francine strips down to lingere and boots]
Oh it's so awfully grand.
Come on Francine, stop singing.
Francine
If you are a man.
I'm only back-up singing.
Francine
If you don't take me home soon Stan I think I'm gonna hurl...
It's the worst place in the world.
I started this point system and she's way behind.
Francine
I only want to see the world, explore, and socialize.
But in this town I can't so much as look at other guys!
Cause if I did they'd call me harlot, whore, adulteress.
I'd bet my last riyal you fellas won't approve of this!
Who wants a kiss?
[Francine kisses all the men in the market]
[US airport, Stan kisses the ground]
Gee Dad, 24 hours ago you hated America.
Oh ha ha ha, shut the hell up Hayley.
But you know, I will admit America has its flaws.
[singing]
Free speech, and there's gun control, and lousy Democrats.
The media's too liberal and everyone's too fat.
The women have careers and form opinions of their own.
We let our wives control our lives...
Francine
Damn it's good to be home!
[family singing]
Our life's not always great, in these United States.
But remember boys and girls...
It's not the worst place in the world!
It's not the worst place in the world, yeah yeah.
[Francine is preparing to kill George Clooney with an axe]
Francine
Well, I'd better run. George Clooney's head is about to have a big opening weekend.
Wait! I've gone along with you on this whole thing, no questions asked, but now I've gotta know. What the hell, Francine? What is this really about? I mean, I hate Susan Sarandon, but you don't see me cutting off my hand. I just cut my hair different for a while.
Francine
What is this about? Just look at that fucker with cucumbers on his eyes! Not a care in the world. No making school lunches, no grocery shopping, no cleaning the house, no one depending on him all the time!
Oh, God. This isn't about some unfulfilled dream. You're having a midlife crisis and you're taking it out on a future senator from California!
Francine
Midlife crisis? Wait. Future senator? Oh, I will fucking chop his head in two!
Francine, don't you see? Sure, Clooney has no cares, no one that depends on him, but... he has no one that depends on him. But you, you have a family: A son, a daughter...
Francine
...and a husband who took a sabbatical from work, moved to Prague, and hired mercenaries to help his wife seduce another man! You probably would have let me sleep with him.
Of course! I assumed you did!
[both laugh]
Francine
I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
[both turn to Clooney]
Francine
You know, I actually feel sorry for him. He'll never know this kind of happiness. Let's go home.
American Dad! · 929 quotes
