American Dad! · Season 2, Episode 2
“The American Dad After School Special” · Season 2, Episode 2
In this episode: Steve Smith (4), Stan Smith (3), Francine Smith (1), Hayley Smith (1), Klaus (1), Avery Bullock (1)
Welcome to my sanctuary. Look at them scurrying around like ants. Go ahead, exercise all you want. You'll never escape the smoky death of times magnifying glass.
Wow, that's a little dark.
Not at all. Life is a banquet and death is dessert.
I love dessert!
Here she comes.
(looks at Debbie through the window) Where's Debbie? Behind that fat girl?
No, Dad, that's...
Is the fat girl going to lead us to Debbie?
No, that's...
She's carrying a purse. She must have a map to Debbie in her purse.
Dad, that's Debbie.
To the panic room!
Stan, you're being ridiculous. We have a guest out there.
Please, Francine, show some panic. Our son is dating a fatty.
Dad, that's awful. Plus-size women drive our economy with their purchases of Garfield books and Haagen-Dazs.
You apologize to your son.
For what? You brought fat into our house.
You'd like Debbie if you got to know her, Dad. There's a lot more to her than you think.
There's more of her?!
Ja. Your suit is stuffed tighter than, um, some funny German word. Uh, sorry. I'm kinda running out of fish shtick. [gasp] Oh, and just like that I'm back!
Oh, look. Miss Pinkerton fainted at the market buying canned salmon for her puss-puss. Get up, Smith! I have no choice but to suspend you until you deal with your weight problem.
No, no, Debbie. This break-up has nothing to do with my dad at all. It's just... you know, this is a really bad time for me. The Ghostbusters box set just came out. What, with that and the new Doom being released, I don't know I can give you the time you need. Forget me, big beautiful creature! [cries]
(Stan is at an anorexia support group, consisting entirely of anorexic teenage girls)
Counselor (to Stan): Eating disorders are no laughing matter, young lady.
Young lady?
Now, now, I know in the locker rooms in high school, you feel uncomfortable about your body.
I'm not in high school!
When was the last time you menstruated?
I've never menstruated!
Counselor (to the rest of the class): You hear that, girls? Cautionary tale: Anorexia will dry up your ovaries like tobacco in the sun. Now, instead of starving yourselves, let's think of better ways at getting back at Daddy, like marrying a black dude?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
