Tearjerker quotes from American Dad!

[rising up in a zeppelin] You'll never catch me! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-hah..! [Stan is right next to him] Just climbed right up the ropes, didn't ya? I told the contractor retractable ropes because I foresaw this very situation. I tell you, when I build my next lair, I'm going to do a lot of things differently: more quicksand, more death beams, and a bench in the shower 'cause sometimes I like to sit down.

Oh, my God, you smell that? I had a pickle an hour ago; came with my Reuben. I'm so fat...

The film is opening on 500,000 screens in just a few minutes. With all the crap I'm releasing against it, people will have no choice but to see Oscar Gold and..then..they..will..cry... and..die... Pie? You can't have any.

Never hire a contractor just because he's gorgeous.

[before he and his escape pod crash into a volcano] Mike, you're the worst contractor eveeeerrrrrr...!

You haven't said a thing about my paintings.

Why is everyone leaving? Why aren't they staying and dying?!

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! [Tearjerker shove both, looking at the laptop]

Smith! He found the one thing people want to see more than a Holocaust movie about a mentally retarded boy with a cancer riddled puppy!

[gasps] Celebrity babies! They're all going home to see them online!

(screams)

Stan

No stab!

Ah! Detroit tap water!