Can I see your boobs?
AJAngelina Jolie/God
I must warn you. Those who've stared into the bosom of eternal wisdom have been driven hopelessly insane.
Wow. Now I have to see them!
“Stan of Arabia: Part 2” · Season 1, Episode 13
In this episode: Stan Smith (4), Steve Smith (3), Roger (2), Francine Smith (2), God (2), Hayley Smith (1), Klaus (1)
[Stan and Francine in the market]
Saudi Arabia is the greatest country in the world!
Greatest country in the world?
[singing]
We packed our bags we hopped a plane, we left our happy home.
Uh, Francine, singing is kinda illegal here...
The culture seemed a bit insane, but you said "Hey, when in Rome..."
Uh, seriously Francine ix-nay on the inging-say..
Maybe you've got no reason to complain...
But I've got no Y chromosome.
[speaking]
So here's what I don't like about Saudi Arabia. Hit it!
You can't go out unless you are escorted by a man.
And when you do you come home with a butt crack full of sand.
No alcohol, no rum and cokes, and no Dom Perignon.
At least a girl can have a smoke.
MMan
But not on Ramadan.
Oh it's a land of joy, if you are a boy.
But if you are a girl, it's the worst place in the world.
Ok Francine, we get it.
Oh but I'm just getting started.
American girls, we do pilates.
Starve ourselves until we're hotties.
Why? Because we like our bodies!
Check me out, you uptight Saudis!
[Francine strips down to lingere and boots]
Oh it's so awfully grand.
Come on Francine, stop singing.
If you are a man.
I'm only back-up singing.
If you don't take me home soon Stan I think I'm gonna hurl...
It's the worst place in the world.
I started this point system and she's way behind.
I only want to see the world, explore, and socialize.
But in this town I can't so much as look at other guys!
Cause if I did they'd call me harlot, whore, adulteress.
I'd bet my last riyal you fellas won't approve of this!
Who wants a kiss?
[Francine kisses all the men in the market]
It's great if you're from Mars, but not if you're from Venus.
If you want to drive a car, you'd better have a penis.
So if you've got a vagina...
MMan
Ohhh!
A vulva..
MMan
Eeee!
A clitoris...
MMan
What is a clitoris?
And a labia...
You see where I'm going with this.
Stay the hell away from Saudi Arabia!
[US airport, Stan kisses the ground]
Gee Dad, 24 hours ago you hated America.
Oh ha ha ha, shut the hell up Hayley.
But you know, I will admit America has its flaws.
Really Dad, like what?
[singing]
Well there's...
Free speech, and there's gun control, and lousy Democrats.
The media's too liberal and everyone's too fat.
The women have careers and form opinions of their own.
We let our wives control our lives...
Damn it's good to be home!
[family singing]
Our life's not always great, in these United States.
But remember boys and girls...
It's not the worst place in the world!
It's not the worst place in the world, yeah yeah.
Oh, and uh, what happens in Saudi Arabia, stays in Saudi Arabia. Ok, seriously.
[after Francine's scream shatters his bowl] Your family may have moved to Saudi Arabia, but I'm the real fish out of water! [laughs, then suddenly stopping] Seriously, I'm dying.
[God in the form of Angelina Jolie is talking to Steve]
GGod
You know, Steve, you'll be all grown up before you know it. So in the meantime, why not enjoy being a kid a little longer? Because it doesn't last forever.
[Pause]
Hey, can I see your boobs?
[At the court in Saudi Arabia]
JJudge
I'm sorry, counselor. What did you say your name is?
CCounselor
Irv Rosenblatt.
JJudge
Guilty!
CCounselor
Every single case! Oy, this is a tough town.
Oh, God, we're all going to die... and our lives meant nothing, absolutely nothing! L- I mean, uh, something comforting.
[Cell Phone Ringing]
JJudge
That's me. Sorry. Hang on. Yello. Oh, hello, sir. What? But they're infidels. Fine. Great. (gets off the phone) Rock blocked. You're free to go.
What do you think happened?
[cut to palace, where it's revealed that Roger's husband made the call]
HHusband
Okay, beast with two backs. Now. (drops his trousers)
Oh, that's what all the fuss is about? Oh, yeah, okay. No problem.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.