Roger quotes from American Dad!

Roger

When you're locked in a cadillac sinking to the bottom of the ocean, you either learn about cars or you die.

Roger

I can't believe this turns some people on!

Roger

[torturing all of Steve's photos in the fire] Look at little Stevsie sleep. You snooze, you lose! [laughs evilly]

Roger

Oh. Oh, the pain! My moaning stems from pain!

Roger

Oh, my God! She ended up on ABC Family! Well, I'm not going to let that happen to me.

Roger

All I have to do is get married by next week and I can get my blender in time for Grey's Anatomy!

Roger

[laughs] Oh, my God! Stan has no friends! And he didn't even realize! He's like America, the guy.

Roger

Wow he is rough on you. He is elephant-making-love-to-a-cat rough on you.

Roger

In nature, a horse will not offer you his hoof until you gain his trust.

Roger

I'm not ready to die! Not before Shatner!

Roger

"I told you to listen to me." He did. He totally did. "P.S. Francine called, Lady Peckinpaw is dead." Eh.

Roger

[after dressing up as a woman in revealing clothing in an attempt to win a sexual harrasment settlement and strutting through the office with 2 Live Crew's Me So Horny playing] Huh, Probably shouldn't have farted before I started the walk.

Roger

[Roger begins his second attempt at his sexual harrasment suit by keeping a box of doughnuts between his legs just as a male coworker comes into the break room] Looking for something glazed and bad for you?

Roger

Let's try that on the fart setting.

Roger

Gee, I don't know Hayley. You think it might have something to do with me being drunk all the time? I'm an alcoholic, I have a problem, I'm just not ready to deal with it yet. Now get inside the suitcase.