[After Homer has seemingly been sucked to his death in a hydro-electric turbine]
Smithers, who was that corpse?
Homer Simpson, sir. [tearfully] One of the finest, bravest men to ever grace Sector 7-G... [calmly] I'll cross him off the list.
“Mother Simpson” · Season 7
In this episode: Mr. Burns (2), Mona (2), Homer Simpson (1), Waylon Smithers (1), Chief Wiggum (1), Grampa Simpson (1), Grandpa (1)
[Homer clears the moss away from the headstone of what he thinks is his mother's grave.]
Oh, Mom, I'm sorry I never visit, I'm just not a cemetery person. [reads tombstone engraving] "Here...lies..."
[He clears the last of the moss away. The name on the stone is Walt Whitman. Homer is enraged.]
Walt Whitman?! Arrrrgggghh!!! Damn you, Walt Whitman! [kicking the stone] I-hate-you-Walt-freaking-Whitman! Leaves of Grass, my ass!
[The FBI storm the Simpson house, looking for Mona.]
FFriday
Freeze. FBI. The jig is up.
Alright, I admit it: I am the Lindbergh baby! Wah! Wah! Goo-goo. I missed my fly-fly, dada!
FFriday
Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
A little from column A, a little from column B.
[Reading Homer's tombstone upside down] Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Yea, better start with Greek Town.
[Mona and Abe meet for the first time since Mona has come back]
Oh, Abe... you've aged terribly.
[to Mona] Well, what do you expect?! You left me to raise the boy on my own!
[to Grampa] I had to leave! You didn't have to tell Homer I was dead!
It was either that, or tell him his mother was a wanted criminal! You were a rotten wife, and I'll never, ever forgive you! [beat] Can we have sex? Please?
[In the post office]
Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
[as she is leaving] Don't worry, Homer. You will always be a part of me. [hits her head on the van] D'oh!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.