Why is it when I heard the word "school", and the word "exploded", I immediately thought of the word "Skinner"?!
“Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)” · Season 6
In this episode: Mr. Burns (2), Homer Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Ned Flanders (1), Waylon Smithers (1), Chief Wiggum (1), Barney Gumble (1)
Ah, soon that mighty apparatus will burst forth with its precious fluid. Almost sexual, isn't it, Smithers?
Although he did send us this thank you card.
[reading aloud on the card] "Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie." Dad, this doesn't have your name on it.
[Homer snatches the card, looks at it, and lowers, his pupils shrinking due to rage as ominous music plays, Bart and Lisa look quite frightened]
Kids, would you step outside for a second? [Bart and Lisa run off of the room, he stands up, and inhales a gust of air...] F—
[At the church, the organ booms and a flock of birds scatter from the bell tower, the neighbors stunned and look at the Simpson house]
[from next door; gasps] Dear Lord! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard!
Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing: block it out.
[He presses yet another button, raising a shield over the model town which blots out the sunlight]
[horrified] Good God!
Imagine it, Smithers: electrical lights and heaters running all day long.
But sir, every plant and tree will die. Owls will deafen us with incessant hooting. The town's sundial will be useless. I don't want any part of this project, it's unconscionably fiendish.
[gasps] I will not suffer this insubordination. There has been a shocking decline in the quantity and quality of your toadying, Waylon - and you will fall into line. Now!
...No. No Monty, I won't. Not until you step back from the brink of insanity.
I'll do no such thing! You're fired!
[Smithers leaves, dejected. Mr. Burns laughs evilly to himself and stomps through the scale model of the town like a giant monster.]
Take that, Bowl-A-Rama! Take that, convenience mart! Take that, Nuclear Power Pl... Oh, fiddlesticks.
[Moe's tavern is completely full of black smoke from Mr. Burns's oil well and everyone inside is getting sick]
These fumes aren't as fun as beer. Sure I'm dizzy and nauseous, but where is the inflated sense of self-esteem? [a barfly babbles indistinctly, collapses]
MMoe
Hey, if you guys are getting get loaded off them fumes, I'm gonna have to charge ya. [a man and a woman in chemical suits come in]
MMan
Man alive! There are..men alive in here.
WWoman
I'm detecting over 20 different toxins in the air. [Barney burps. The meter rapidly beeps]
MMan
Alright, everybody out! As long as Burns is pumping oil, this bar is closed.
MMoe
Damn Burns. Let me just get one thing. [grabs under and cocks shotgun and leaves]
Me too. [grabs pistol from under bar stool] Ahh! Now, there's the inflated sense of self-esteem.
Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can you?
[points at viewer as if he's breaking the fourth wall; camera zooms out to reveal he's actually pointing at Chief Wiggum]
Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I mean, it's my job, right?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.