“Bart Gets an Elephant” · Season 5
In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Lisa Simpson (2), Bart Simpson (1), Marge Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Mr. Burns (1), Ned Flanders (1), Chief Wiggum (1)
[Homer, Bart, and Lisa discuss their plans after breakfast.]
After breakfast, me and Milhouse are going down to the ravine. We got a tip from a five-year-old that there's a dead Martian down there.
And I'm going to jam with the Little White Girls Blues Quartet. [to Homer]: Wanna come with me, Daddy-o?
Sorry, honey. I'd love to, but Daddy has to go to a beer-drinking contest.
Think you'll win?
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get.
What's the point of all this cleaning?! Are we so vain?!
Hey Clinton, get back to work!
Make me.
Hey, they're playing the elephant song!
I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
So isn't that what we're all asking in our own lives – "Where's my elephant?" I know that's what I've been asking.
[rides on Stampy] Ha-ha! Smithers, this reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work!
Look at this, Marge: $58 and all of it profit! I'm the smartest businessman in the world.
Stampy's food bill today was $300.
[scared] Marge, please, don't humiliate me in front of the money.
Mr. Blackheart?
Yes, my pretty?
Are you an ivory dealer?
[chuckles] Little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day: Whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the Fox network ... and like most people, yeah, I've dealt a little ivory.
Look! It's the four elephants of the Apocalypse!
That's "Horsemen," Ned.
Well, getting closer.
He took Bart too?! [yells out the window] THAT WASN'T PART OF OUR DEAL BLACKHEART! THAT. WASN'T. PAAAAART!
[At Springfield Police Station]
[sarcastically] Yeah, right, lady: an elephant ran through your front yard. OK. [goes to another line] Wiggum...yeah, right, mister, mm hm. An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. OK. [goes to another line] Wiggum...Yeah, right, buddy, liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure...and I'm Edward G. Robinson!
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