Marge Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Bart

Mom! Dad! I woke up and the money jar was full! That means the devil accepted my bargain. Now, to uphold my end of the deal! Snowball II!

Marge

[Puts her hand on his shoulder] No!

Marge

But where does the ship stop again?

Homer

I don't know. A lot of barefoot kids kicking soccer balls, shell necklaces, they really hit the poverty nicely.

Marge

Homer, I'm a single mother, trying to raise a family here.

Homer

But you're not-

Marge

Just zip it.

Homer

Now that's what I call a snappy retort.

Marge

Stop saying what you call things! I'm trying to watch the movie.

Homer

That's one way to avoid drunk driving.

Marge

Another way is don't drink.

Homer

I'm not Superman.

Marge

You're all bald.

Homer

No, I'm young person cool-bald. Not old person sad-bald.

Bart

He's alive!

Marge

And he didn't pee on the floor.

Grampa

For me, that's a perfect day.

Homer

Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.

Marge

The end of the world as we know it?!?

Marge

I think I hear a slight accent.

Mid-Atlantic.

Marge

*gasp* That's where they filmed The Wire! Step on it!

Marge

Kids, your father and I have decided we're not in such a hurry to get you guardians.

Homer

Instead of concentrating on dying, we're going to concentrate on living.

Bart

If you call this living.

Homer

[turns red with anger] Why, you little... [furiously lunges at Bart and angrily strangles him] I do call this living. Living the way kids in lndia can only dream of.

Lisa

There is nothing like your biological family.

Homer

Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.

Marge

I'm not going to sleep.

Homer

Well, you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

I hope you are enjoying your sushi.

Marge

It's as yummy as your poorly produced local commercial says.

Marge

It's all my fault. I should never have listened to those KISS albums when I was pregnant.

Chief Wiggum

[to Marge] Marge, with all due respect, that's ridiculous. My Sarah listened to Mozart and Churchill speeches when she was pregnant with Ralphie, and he can't even open a refrigerator.

Lisa

How does this mean anything when everyone's forced to do it?

Marge

What did I say about pointing out the meaninglessness of things?

Lisa

Not to.

Homer

Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.

Marge

I don't have any diamonds.

Homer

Quit pressuring me!