Marge Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Lisa

Nobody form any opinions while I'm gone.

Marge

Well, hurry! We have no minds of our own.

Marge

[to the teen-abstinance group] If you defeat this madman, I'll release you from your pledge and teach you other fun ways not to get pregnant.

I think I might be pregnant already.

Marge

Well, that's one of them.

Marge

You can live with your no good son.

Bart

Hey, what did I do?

Marge

Nothing for 30 years. You're perfect for each other.

Bart

I am as healthy as a horse.

Marge

Horses only live 30 years.

Homer

Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it, it wouldn't be there anymore?

Marge

No.

Homer

AAAAHHH!!

Homer

Marge, would you give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?

Marge

We don't have that movie here.

Lisa

[narrating] Bart won a blue ribbon, but was it worth it?

Marge

Lisa! Bath time!

Lisa

Mom! I'm narrating!

Marge

The water's going to get cold!

Lisa

Fine!

Bart

What's your soda refill policy?

Marge

All you can drink, if you buy a jumbo cup.

Homer

Careful, Marge, that's how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.

Ned

Homer, this is my Freezer-ino!

Homer

Seriously, I am getting so tired of those stupid Flanders-isms!

Ned

It's the name of the freezer.

Homer

Okily-Dokahama?

Ned

Right next to Mount Fuji-I'm glad to see you!

Lisa

Mom, where's Dad?

Marge

I don't know.

Bart

Aw, it's Christmas Eve, man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!

Eh, how you doing there? Uh, your front door was locked, So, uh, rather than call or knock, I, uh, came down your chimbley there. [coughs]

Marge

Moe Szyslak, you didn't climb down our chimney just to say "Merry Christmas."

[coughing] [clears throat] Midge, it's one minute till Christmas, and if I'm ever gonna be a good guy, it's now. All right, here I go. I'm the one that kept Homer from coming home, 'cause, uh, well, I was lonely. [Marge gasps] Yeah, that's right-- me, Mr. Party Pants. So, uh, so don't hold it against Homer, eh?

Marge

Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.

Homer

Fine.

Lisa

I'm not sure how many more times we can watch Dad chased down by an angry crowd before it affects us psychologically.

As a family therapist, I can assure you that you have all the coping skills you need.

Marge

Why is Lisa talking to an empty seat?

Lisa

See you next Tuesday, Dr. Schulman! Oh, right, you're in Maui.

Why don't you kids run off and play in the bottle cap pit?

Marge

Don't cut yourselves!

Marge

I'm not giving up on Bart, just like I didn't give up on our marriage when you quit your job to start the North American Sumo League.

Homer

The NASL would have made money if someone had washed a few sumo loin cloths for me.

Marge

I said I would do yours, but not the whole dojo.

Marge

What are we going to do?

Homer

It's not so bad, sweety. I took a box of Altoids from her waiting room. The most anyone has ever gotten out of therapy.