Rusty quotes from The Loud House

[walks back to Morpheus and slaps him in the back, to his annoyance] Dude, major props! You know, you're alright. We must hang.

Morpheus

Why did we do that?

[hesitating] Uh, because, you know, we need to have a lot in common, like, we're both...dudes. [relents as Morpheus reacts unconvincingly] Okay, fine. I'm into the other spells! Maybe we can help ourselves out? You scratch my back, I scratch yours?

Morpheus

[literally taking it] Ugh, I loathe to show myself being touched by hands. But perhaps, there's another way you can repay me: I'll grant you one day of spells if at nightfall, you grant me one favor.

Rustman's always down to do a bro a solid.

Morpheus

Very well. [takes a contract out of his cape] Sign here in blood. [flash of lightning cracks and Rusty shrieks; takes out a pen] Or red pen. Your call.

Oh, this is just gonna feel very sweet! I've always wanted a cool stache. Now, remember, thick and bushy.

Morpheus

[takes out his spell book and chants a spell] "Scales of newt, mane of a bull. Let the lip grow nice and full!"

[in a lisp] How does it cook? Does it cook great? [realizes] Wait, something feels weird. [looks into the bathroom mirror and screams in horrified shock] What did wou do?!

Morpheus

[looks in his spell book, realizing the problem] Oh, sorry, my bad, missed a word. I should have said, "lip hair." Let's try that again.

Looking good, son.

I know.

Thanks for lending a hand at the summer sale, you two. We've got to sell every single piece of last season's inventory. So turn on that old Spokes charm! I'll man the cash register. Good luck, boys.

Okay, Morphy.

Morpheus

[not liking the nickname] No.

[clears throat] Morpheus. I need one of your favorite spells to sell all of this old merch. Otherwise, I'm just gonna stay here all day.

Morpheus

[going through his spell book] Let's see. Ah, here it is, denim desire. This must work. "Spirits of Persuasion, hear my favorite spell, spell, spell. Make these wretched garments sell, sell, sell!"

It worked! I like to have a date! Oh, I must go figure out what to wear. Thanks for the other help for today, dawg.

Morpheus

Uh, aren't you forgetting a good deal? For now, you owe me something.

Oh, right, sure. What'll it be? Cash, hang sesh, pop and lock lessons?

Morpheus

Your hair.

[laughs] I thought you said my hair. I was like, "AH!" [laughs]

Morpheus

I did. I need it for one of my spells. [takes out a razor and turns it on]

[shrieks in horror] Dude, get that thing away from me here! You can't have my hair, it's my best feature!

Morpheus

A deal's a deal. You tried to sign a contract, bro!

Look! A hearse! [scampers away as Morpheus looks in the opposite direction]

Morpheus

[turns back, realizing he was tricked] Curses! He took advantage of my weakness for motorized corpse transport.

[running away, selfishly] See ya, chumps!

Morpheus

Well, Thorn, if he doesn't fulfill his favorite end of the bargain, we'll just make him pay. [grins vengefully]

[arriving at Gus'] I don't need spells! The Rustman is oozing with charm. [quickly runs inside and approaches Amber, who's waiting] Amber, hey! Sorry I'm late.

What happened to your clothes?

Nothing. I'm rocking the destroyed look. It's super trendy right now. [pulls out a chair] Shall we sit?

Oh, thank you. [begins to sit down, but a wisp flies into the chair's legs and slides it away, causing her to land on the ground]

Oh, my gosh! That wasn't me! [looks over and sees Morpheus sitting at a booth]

Morpheus

[cackles] This can all end if you just give me your hair. [takes out a razor and grins deviously]

[tries to place his hair back on his head, disgruntled over all the trouble he went through for nothing] Ugh, I am done with spells. [hurries over to Amber, now free from Morpheus' spell while trying to get out of the claw machine] So where were we, my precious Amber stone?

[furiously] We were done! This was the worst date ever! I never want to see you again! [angrily throws a stuffed giraffe at Rusty, which hits him in the head and knocks off his hair]

Well, lost my hair and the girl, but at least I got this sweet prize! Rustman's winning!

[takes the first bite of his spaghetti and notices something off, his face turns red after he swallows] Uh, does this marinara sauce taste different to anyone?

[realizes] Wait, yeah. Something is off. And that something is… spicy?! [his face also turns red, and so does Rusty] Ah! Very spicy! Why is it so spicy?!

[blasting steam out of his ears] Hoowie. I can feel it, y'all!

[lifts up his shirt as his stomach growls] The beast is angry!

Now, let's get you gussied up for the camera. [brushes her hair and finds a scar on the back of her neck] Whoa, cool scar!

Oh, thanks. Hockey puck. I was five, I think.

[amazed] Whoa! You play hockey?!

Wow!

That's so cool!

Stella

Whoa!

[snort-laughs] Whoa, you have friends?

[aggravated] Oh, get lost, Josh! [Josh then steals her strawberry gummies and runs off, laughing and blowing raspberries at her; angrily shaking her fist at him] AND STOP TAKING MY SNACKS!

Younger sibling? Yeah, I have plenty of those myself.

[shocked gasp] Mr. Budden?!

You're the one who trashed the school and framed Crikey?!

Why would you do that?!

[un-zipping the kangaroo costume] It was the only way to get your beloved Crikey out of here! He's overshadowed my pep band from day one! We never perform in our own anymore! We're always backup for Crikey. I didn't go to an expensive music school to be less pop songs for a kangaroo! And his treatment around here is frankly ridiculous. Donuts every morning, a key to the teachers' lounge. Oh, give me a break!

[video-calling Principal Ramirez on his phone] Did you get all that, Principal Ramirez?

[in her bathrobe and her hair wrapped in a towel] Yes, I did. [firmly] Mr. Budden, you and I are gonna have a little talk tomorrow. [to Rusty; annoyed] And Mr. Spokes, I don't know how you had this number, but lose it. [hangs up]

[ashamed] Well, Trevor Bernard Budden, you've done it again. I guess I deserve whatever's coming to me. [walks over to Crikey] Crikey, I'm really sorry about everything.

Ooh-wee. It is hotter than a pig in a pepper patch.

[coming out the back door, carrying a bucket of ice] Okay, I got the ice! Get ready to chill. [accidentally trips on the fan's plug and falls on the ground, dropping the ice bucket on him as it melts]

There's got to be a better way to stay cool.

Stella

[smiles] Actually… [realizes] Oh, no. Never mind.

What?

Come on, tell us.

Spill it, Zhou.

Stella

[giving in] Okay, fine. Know how I'm neighbors with Principal Ramirez? [her friends all nod yes] Well, I'm housesitting for her this weekend while she's at some teacher's conference, and… she has a pool! [her friends all talk at once with excitement] Technically, she never said I could use it. I'm just supposed to water the plants and feed her birds and stuff… [shrugs] But I guess I could ask. [takes out her phone]

I don't see why she wouldn't let us.

Please, Stella, I feel like I'm melting! [groans while sinking slowly into the pool]

Stella

[types a text and sends it] There. Text sent. Now we wait.

Uh, guys? Can we wait at her house? I think Lily wants her pool back.

Stella's here.

[caws] Hello!

Stella

Hey, guys! Here you go. [pours the food into their bowl]

Ooh! This is exactly what we needed! [to Stella] Did she text back yet?

Stella

[checks her phone while Ramirez's parrots eat their food] Negative. We shouldn't go in until we hear back, so just hang out until then. [goes inside the house]

[takes out a spray can of sunscreen] Better reapply my sunscreen. Gotta protect my epiderm. Know what I mean? [sprays himself and Zach in his sunscreen, which covers Zach's glasses]

[blowing his whistle] No running! [his friends all look at him, puzzled] Sorry. Reflexes. My dads made me get lifeguard training before I was allowed to bathe alone.

[throws a life ring in the pool; wearing an inflatable swan] Well, I've pre-floated all the floaties. Come on, Ramirez. Send that text!

Stella

[checks her phone] Sorry, guys. Still nothing.

[sitting on the slide; groans] It's so hot! [slides down it, stopping just before he enters the pool while groaning]

[sighs] What if she never texts back? Well, what if she lost her phone? Or her mind? You know how wild teacher conferences get.

You know what, I'm just gonna dip my toe in.

[carrying a tray with three glasses of tropical smoothies he made] Who's ready for more of Chef Clyde's famous tropical smoothies? [gives one to Stella] Cheers to Stella, the pool party hostess with the mostest.

Rusty Spokes cannonball! [dives in; sighs] This is the life!

Stella

[takes out her phone as it beeps; excited] You guys! Principal Ramirez finally texted back!

It's about time. Make sure to thank her for us.

Stella

[checks her phone, stunningly shocked; nervously] Uh, guys? [Principal Ramirez's response is shown as emojis] She texted a thumbs-down emoji, an angry face emoji, and an explosion emoji. She super does not want us in the pool!

Aah! Oh, no!

Stella

[looks back at her phone, getting another text] She sent another text. Car emoji, "Back in an hour," clock emoji. [gasps fearfully; frantically] EVERYBODY OUT!!!

That should be everything. The only evidence is my tense, nagging guilt.

Stella

[relieved] Thank you, guys. Now you better go. Principal Ramirez will be here in 20 minutes.

Later, Stellar.

Good luck.

Don't be nervous. There's no way Ramirez will know we used the pool. [starts to leave, until…]

[caws; mimicking Lincoln] There's no way Ramirez will know we used the pool.

[shocked] Did they just--?!

[caws; mimicking Zach] Pool party!

Stella

[horrified] They're repeating what we said!

Those featherheads are gonna rat us out!

[takes out a roll of duct tape] Oh, no, they won't! [attempts to tape their beaks shut, causing them to shriek in terror]

Stella

[grabs the duct tape out of her hands] You're not taping their beaks shut, Kara.

Wait, guys, there's no reason why Ramirez would think they were talking about us.

[mimicking Rusty] Rusty Spokes cannonball!

[relieved] Phew. It's just Rusty.

[offended] Kara! Not cool, dawg!

[mimicking Clyde] Stella, the pool party hostess with the mostest! [squawks]

[squawks; also mimicking Clyde] Chef Clyde's tropical smoothies!

[sighs, realizing she's wrong] We're toast.

Welp, there goes my recommendation to U of M.

Stella

[disappointed] No. I'm the one she trusted, and it was my idea. I'll tell her it was all my fault.

[frustrated when the green parrot mimics him] Why am I being singled out?!

Maybe it's not enough to teach them new phrases. We have to make them forget the old ones! [swinging a round cracker tied to a string like a pendulum in front of the parrots' faces] You are getting very sleepy. You will fall into a deep sleep and forget all about the pool party.

[notices] Uh-oh, I think Zach caught some stray hypno-rays!

[collapses and stands up; groaning] Where am I? Why am I looking at birds?

They aren't saying anything, so I think it worked.

Yeah! They forgot all about the pool party, Lincoln.

[squawks; mimicking Clyde] Pool party, Lincoln.

[realizing he messed up] Whoopsie.

[groans] I gotta start over again.

Don't bother, yo. I just came up with a better idea. [then shown in front of the house, waving to his cousin Derek; holding birdcage with a blanket covering it] Thanks, D-Dawg! [brings the cage into the backyard] Cousin Derek comes through again. I sent him a picture and he got three identical birds in under 30 minutes!

Stella

I still don't feel good about replacing Ramirez's birds.

It's only until Lisa can wipe the memory. We can sneak them back here next week.

Behold! [pulls the blanket off the cage, revealing a featherless parrot, another parrot with an eyepatch, and a third parrot with a black beak]

Stella

Rusty, these birds look nothing like Ramirez's!

Relax. Cousin Derek also sold me bird paint. [holds up three cans of bird paint with a logo of parrot (which resembles Sergio), corresponding to the original parrots' feather colors; paints the replacement parrots to look identical to Principal Ramirez's] Oh, missed a spot. Done!

Stella

I must admit, they don't look that bad… if you squint.

[in Italian] Buongiorno! (translation: Good day!)

[also in Italian] Come stai? (translation: How are you?)

Stella

[surprised in anger] Rusty, these birds speak Italian!

Yo, forget about it.

Not that one. He's from New York.

Stella

Either way, Principal Ramirez is gonna know they're not her birds! [pulls out her phone, getting a text] It's her! "Five minutes away", car emoji, smiley face emoji.

She's really going hard on the emojis.

Stella

[out of options] Welp, guess I'll have to face the music.

No, we all will.

How you doing?

Not great, but thanks for asking.

[hastily as Principal Ramirez enters the backyard] Principal Ramirez. I bet you're wondering why we're all standing around here in our swimming costumes.

Not really. [shoves him, Zach and Kara out of the way; to her parrots, happily] There you are! Oh, my babies! Mommy missed you! [gives them smooches]

[mimicking Rusty] Rusty Spokes cannonball!

[squawks; mimicking Zach] Stella's pool party!

[mimicking Colonel Austin] Hasta la bye-bye, chump!

Stella

Yeah, about that. We can explain. We really messed up. We used the pool before we got your text.

We're really sorry.

Yeah.

[sighs] I'll just go to community college.

[puzzled] Wait, wait, wait. I'm confused. I told you to use the pool. Didn't you read my text?

Stella

[holds up her phone; confused] The one with the angry face emoji?

Angry face? I thought that was the "It's hot" emoji. [takes out her phone] See? I said, "I'm down. It's super hot. Swimming is the bomb."

[in unison] Dad, meet my new girlfriend.

[in unison] Mom, meet my new boyfriend.

[crossly] Rodney.

[also cross] Annette.

[confused] You guys know each other?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, believe me, I know the owner of Garb 4 Guys. The rat who spread rumors that the pants I sell cause severe chafing!

Ha, says the weasel owner of Duds for Dudes who told everybody my socks overstretch! It'll be a cold day in Haberdashery before my daughter dates your son!

Well, I'd rather spit on my spats than let my son date your daughter!

But Amber and I made plans to go to Jean Juan's on Valentine's Day!

Over my dead cufflinks!