SpongeBob SquarePants · Season 12
Oh, that's it now. Let it all out.
[sobs] I-I just want to pet the critters. Does that make me an animal? [continues to cry]
That mean old zookeeper! [scratches his back] He even looks like a monkey and he smells like one too! [scoffs] You should just make your own zoo.
[The episode begins at the Chum Bucket where Plankton struggles to build his new invention.]
Karen, can you give me a hand with my new Dodanatron?
Sorry Sheldon, I'm off to visit my Motherboard. [leaves the Chum Bucket]
[gasps, runs after Karen] Wait! How am I supposed to get anything done without you?
Don't worry, I put up Help Wanted flyers for an intern. See? [throws intern flyer, and it flies until it hits Plankton's eye]
[sees flyer] Ooh. "INTERN WANTED." Apply today at Chum Bucket Labs? [crumbles flyer] I'm a mad scientist! If getting help was that easy, I wouldn't have built a computer wife!
Is this where I apply for the intern job?
[Plankton sees the newly-formed line for his new intern job and gets an exhausted look on his face. Bubble transition to inside the Chum Bucket.]
Ahem. Hello and welcome to Chum Bucket Labs. As an intern, you will gain valuable work experience and a sub-minimum wage. [the crowd sighs and leaves, leaving only Patrick] Well that narrowed it down.
I wanna do the science!
[quietly] Oh boy. [bubble transition] Okay, let's see how ya handle scientific equipment. This is my Duplo Maker! It's very, very simple.
Oh, like me!
[takes out a coin] Just put this coin in the chamber-
Gotcha! [grabs the coin and squishes Plankton]
Ow! No! Just the coin, you idiot! [gasps as Patrick steps inside the machine]
[The Duplo Maker creates a ton of Patrick doubles. It is no longer duplicating, as the door opens and many Patrick clones appear. Plankton then screams and runs as a Patrick double tries to land on him, but fails.]
Oh.
Do we get the job?
I'll tell ya what ya get. [takes out a remote] You get out! [pushes the button on the remote, and a robot hand with a glove smacks the Patrick clones out of the Chum Bucket]
Hi, I'm Patrick.
No, I'm Patrick.
Who's Patrick?
Well, great. Not a single applicant left.
Hello? I'm still here.
[shouting as his iris turns into a whale] Whale! [Pearl steps closer to him as he climbs up to his desk] No! Not you! Whales eat Plankton!
I don't eat Plankton. That's baby food. I'm just here for the job.
Really? You're not gonna eat me?
Eww, no! I just need money, but my dad's such a skinflint with my allowance.
Alright, you're hired. Whatever.
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob walking to the Krusty Krab, exhausted.]
[tired] For my buddy Patrick. [Patrick is shown eating a poster, holding a winner trophy] I did it, pal. I silenced every bell in town so that you will no longer have a tantrum, buddy.
Aww. [picks up SpongeBob] Thank you, best friend. [hugs SpongeBob]
[injured, holding money] I don't care about bells ringing or conditioning customers anymore, 'cause I've got a million dollars! [laughs as he puts the money in the register. He then presses a button on the register in slow motion, causing it to ring; in slow motion] Uh-oh.
[Patrick drops SpongeBob and starts to have another tantrum, breaking the trophy, and kicking the tables and chairs. Mr. Krabs holds SpongeBob in front of him. Patrick bangs the register open, and starts ripping the money to shreds.]
No no no no no no no!
[he and Margie appear] Hello, son. We saw you fighting today.
On the TV. We're so proud.
Oh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Star. I know you are loving parents, but you really messed up your kids by ringing a bell whenever it was time for his bath.
Bell? We never rang a bell.
Yeah, never.
[stops having a tantrum] You never rang a bell?
No, don't you remember? We would squeeze your rubber duck.
[gasps] My rubber duck.
Yes. [holds up the rubber duck] This one.
[takes the rubber duck and holds it]
Aw, kinda gets you right in your heart's kitchen, doesn't it, Mr. Krabs?
Well, I think I can tape it all back together. [close-up of a taped-up dollar bill]
Ducky. I wonder if it still quacks. [squeezes the duck, and it quacks, triggering another tantrum, breaking stuff off-screen]
[holding a jar of jellyfish jelly] Oh, here we go again! [laughs and runs after Patrick]
[The kid on the tricycle with the chimpanzee TV appears outside, and the camera irises out as the episode ends.]
[SpongeBob and Squidward are in the cellar of Bubble Bass' home, which is like the game, Three Deadly Challenges]
Wow. A life-size version of the Three Deadly Challenges. Beautiful.
Looks like a hobo campground.
No, Squidward. You have to look with your imagination. [waves his hand across the screen, revealing a more fantasy-like landscape]
What the? No! [ruins the fantasy landscape with his tentacles] It's a dump!
Thou art two oozing cysts on the hind side of a plague dog's nose.
What did he say?
The colorful insults are the best part of the game.
That figures. Hmm. [walks to where Bubble Bass is along with SpongeBob] So how do you win this goofball game, anyway?
Since Bubble Bass challenged us, all we have to do is get close enough to tag him out. We get three chances, or should I say three challenges.
Oh. [grunts]
Oh, boy! [he and Squidward grab a sword] Look, Squidward! [slashes with a cardboard sword a few times]
Oh, this feels stupid. [sighs]
[SpongeBob keeps giving Krabby Patties to the crowd]
Hey! Where's my Patty?
[SpongeBob throws two Krabby Patty's in Fred's face; two more customers shout for SpongeBob, and they get their patties as well]
I'm a patty launching machine! [laughing]
[takes the patties off his eyes] Thank you, Patty boy.
It was nothing. [realizes his launcher is empty] Nothing! I'm outta patties! Well, I guess I just better make some more. [goes into the tray and works]
Umm mm huh?
[keeps working until he comes back out] Fresh hot Krabby Patties here! Put a patty in your piehole! Huh? [looks at the state of the people] Awww... Looks like I fed my entire section. Hmm... [notes other people in the other half starving] Well, I guess Squidward wouldn't mind if I sell a few patties in his section. [goes over to the other side]
I don't know what a pink plonker is, but I don't like it! [punches Animatronic Hieronymus with his tongue, knocking his head off]
Aaaaaaaaah!
[attaches himself to Animatronic Hieronymus's body] Ooh! Hey! I like this body better than mine... it comes with pockets!
I like my new body too! [walks up using Patrick's body which he struggles to control] But I still want that head! [tries to fight Patrick]
I said I was sorry, you weirdo! [they continue fighting, and knock each other's heads off. The heads keep fighting on the ground and SpongeBob jumps to avoid them while the toddler laughs and claps]
Enough! [the heads stop fighting, and the real Hieronymus Glove, stuck in a block of ice, rolls up to them while a pair of servants sweep the ground in front of him] No, no, this won't do at all! Put those heads back on their bodies post-haste! [the servants toss their brooms aside and walk towards the group] Splendid!
Wow! [the servants put Patrick's head back on his body] Are you the real Hieronymus Glove?
[the servants put Animatronic Hieronymus's head back on his body] No, he's not, I'm the real Hieronymus Glove!
Hahahaha, splendid! Do wipe that one's memory bank before he does more damage to my park. Thank you! [one of the servants whacks Patrick's head with a giant wrench] Not him, the other one!
Hmm? [the servant whacks Animatronic Hieronymus's head with the wrench] Ow! Re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-- and that's why we wear gloves on our hands and not our knees! Haha... [powers down and falls over. The servants catch him and carry him away]
Splendid! I'm afraid I'm the real Hieronymus Glove, and I'm at your service.
We love your gloves!
Splendid! And since being terrorized by our robots has never been Glove World policy, you are all hereby released from Glove Jail!
We've been pardoned! Splendid!
Splendid! And for proving yourselves to be unselfish and kind, I'm going to give all of Glove World to the both of you!
Ahhhhhh! [the servants weld crowns to SpongeBob and Patrick's heads] Really?
Of course not! Hahahahaha! I may be cryogenically frozen, but I'm not a loony! [they all laugh, and the floor rises up to take them back to Glove World as Hieronymus begins singing] ♪Well, that concludes our show and as you can see, there still is nothing quite like gloves!
Until we meet again for a shopping spree, where I hope you buy all kinds of gloves to love!
With the handy help of SpongeBob and Patrick, we defeated my crazy robot head!
Now that the twit is gone...♪
[singing] ♪Glove World can carry on!♪
[singing] ♪And the toddler can go to bed. Goodnight!♪
[SpongeBob and Patrick fall asleep as the curtains go down. The toddler jumps out of their arms and runs off, waking them up.]
Hey! [they go running after him]
Come back here, little guy!
I saved you a Ham Fist! [the second act, and the entire episode, ends with a cut to black]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
