S9 E22Goodbye, Krabby Patty?
[Patrick looks at SpongeBob, who gives him a thumbs up. Patrick looks at Don Grouper and Mr. Krabs. Patrick looks at SpongeBob again]
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh...!
[turns to the audience; awkwardly] Good evening, ladies and the other ones. I know you're all excited to see the 400th commercial, but before we see it, I just want to say that Frozen Krabby Patties are MADE WITH SAND! [The audience gasps in shock]
[shocked] Oh, no! [faints in Don Grouper's arms again]
DGDon Grouper
That was cute when you were rich. [drops Mr. Krabs and surrenders with his hands up guiltily] I'm out of here. [leaves the stage as the audience vomit out sand. In doing so, their butts shrink down to their normal size. The scene changes to a graph of the Frozen Krabby Patty sales going down]
And in shocking news today, it has been revealed that Frozen Krabby Patties are made with sand.
[As everyone is watching the news, various people vomit out sand and their butts shrink back to normal. One of which vomits out palm trees. Another vomits out patty-shaped sand. Another vomits out sand shaped like a rectangular box. Another vomits sand through his eye sockets. Another vomits out sand with a snail in it. Then their butts begins to shrivel up afterwards. Not wanting to take this anymore, the customers decided once and for all to throw away all of the frozen patties they bought. Mr. Krabs is seen near a trashcan, depressed. The Krusty Factory is being closed down and pushed away by construction workers]
Well, it's gone. Everything I spent me life building is all gone. I'm ruined. [sobs]
S10Whirly Brains
The martians are coming! Run for your lives! You’re next! You’re next!
S10Mermaid Pants
Sad! [Patrick and Mr. Krabs get a slap fight] Pathetic! [Squidward accidentally stops the fighting for Patrick and Mr. Krabs] Mediocre! [SpongeBob falls down, then hits the ground] Sup-Par!
S10Unreal Estate
Oh, that house was too dangerous for you. [feels his head hurt] Ow. Besides, it was just a house, but this is a castle with a moat and everything.
It's a long way from Bikini Bottom.
I mean, don't worry about it. It's a short 11-hour commute to the Krusty Krab from here.
S10Code Yellow
NNurse
You can't dump your garbage here, sir
Oh, that's not garbage. That's my friend, Squidward. We're here to check in. [removes the trashcan off of Squidward, and his nose is covered with garbage]
NNurse
Holy nostroly! You must be here for the nose job. Let's, uh… get your paperwork filled out.
S10Mimic Madness
[imitating the French Narrator as he reads the time card] 80,000 impressions later...
Would you please stop imitating me? It is starting to get very annoying.
[SpongeBob is hiding in a dark cave where is body is morphed into an owl and starts singing]
♪Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who? Who... am I?
[jumps to a cave mirror and morphs into a question mark] Who am I? [morphs into a pineapple] I just can't remember.
[morphs into Pearl] Who am I? [imitates Pearl] I just can't recall.
[morphs into a handsome man and imitates him] Who am I to sing this somber song? When you've got six heads, there's something wrong.
[morphs into five of his friends] Who am I? [imitates his friends] Please tell me. [normal] Who am I? [imitates his friends] Do you know me?
[morphs into a female fish] My name could be Clementine [morphs into Fred] or it could be Freddie.
[morphs into two SpongeBobs] I just can't recognize myself. I don't know if I'm ready. [imitating his friends in a barber shop quintet] I'm ready!
[normal] Who am I? [morphs into a male fish] I have a right to know. [normal] Who am I? Am I friend... [morphs into Plankton and imitates him] or foe?
[normal] I have so many features. It makes it hard to tell. I don't know what my first name is. But my faces ring a bell.
[imitates Squidward] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Mr. Krabs] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Patrick] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Plankton] Who am I? [bell dings] [normal] Who am I? [phone rings] Hello?♪
CCaller
Hello. To whom am I speaking?
[As SpongeBob's song ends, his face shrivels]
[The episode begins at nighttime. Squidward, who appears to be very tired, is getting ready to go to bed]
Oh, why can't I get to sleep? Let's try it again. [sighs] Warm milk. [drinks milk] White noise machine. [turns on the noise machine and it blows bubbles out. He groans as he closes his eyes. His eyelids say "10 Grit" on them. Then he wakes up] Dim lights. [turns off lights and groans; sings] ♪ Sleep, little Squidward, catch some winks / Everything and everybody clearly stinks ♪ [shuts his eyes, curls up in his bed, and tries to go to sleep. Suddenly, a loud belch is heard and a startled Squidward screams and clings on the ceiling with his suction cups]
[At SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing while having a sleepover]
[chugs down a liter of soda and swallows it. His bottom begins to bubble up] Oh, yeah! Fizz Bomb Cola!
[SpongeBob's body bubbles up and he makes a really loud belch. SpongeBob and Patrick laugh]
[yelling] Hey! Will you two psychopaths keep it down?!
Oh, hi, Squidward. How ya doing?
Horrible! I haven't slept for three days!
[grabs Squidward's hand and shakes it] Hey, that's great!
It is not great! [pulls back his hand] I've got an audition with the Bikini Bottom Philharmonic Orchestra tomorrow morning, and I'm a nervous wreck!
[appears behind Squidward] Why don't you try taking a walk? Works for me.
You know, normally, I jump up and scream when you appear like that. But I'm so tired, I'm just gonna take your stupid advice. [walks away]
[Squidward lumbers into SpongeBob's living room with a vacant look on his face]
SpongeBob, what's happening?
[Squidward's eyes close. He begins to snore and collapses to the ground in a deep sleep. SpongeBob quickly forms into the shape of a mattress and catches the octopus before he hits the ground. Squidward mutters in his sleep and fluffs SpongeBob's eyes like they're pillows. SpongeBob smiles warmly]
Aww, the poor guy was just sleepy.
BDBus driver
What some people won't do to cheat the system.
Hey, kids, I'm a... [The kids scream at Patrick's clown outfit. Patrick screams and hides in the coral tree]
Hey, I'm not paying you to play hide-and-seek! These children want to be entertained! Get down here! [shakes the tree and Patrick falls off the tree]
Whoa. [belches] This must be the place. [enters Ms. Mildred's room] Hello? Ooh.
[In the middle of the room, there is a large water bed]
Ooh-ee. That is one big—water bed? [touches the bed and it ripples up to the top.
[On top of the bed, Billy is up there bouncing on it]
Don't call me that! And stop jumping on that water bed! You'll pop it!
[climbs up to the top] Get over here! [jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses]
Why, you little... [jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses again. He growls and tries to catch Billy. However, his pointy feet pops the water bed]
[The water bed explodes water]
:[wanders into the fray of the party with a plate of Krabby Patties and his bottom lip pulled straight up over his nose] Krabby Patty? Krabby Patty?
[A dirt-covered little boy runs up to Squidward and starts touching the patties]
K1Kid #1
Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
[His nose slips out from his bottom lip and he holds the plate away from the boy] You're contaminating the food! Just pick one. [He holds the plate out to the boy again, but the boy sneezes on him- and the plate of patties. The octopus looks in horror at the plate of Krabby Patties covered in snot. The boy takes a Krabby Patty and runs off, laughing. Squidward shakes himself off] I'VE BEEN INFECTED!!!! [More children come and munch on the infected Patties. Squidward retches, causing the children to scream]
Who wants food? I'm a mindless drone with food, working for the man. [picks his teeth with a toothpick and then notices the band. There's even a clarinet player. He's so entranced that his eyes pop out onto the patties
[stuffs the plate of patties into her mouth] Here you go, princess. [rubs his hands together, chuckling]
S10SpongeBob's Place
[The scene changes to Squidward walking home until he notices that everyone is lining up inside SpongeBob's house, which is now named, "SpongeBob's Place."]
"SpongeBob's Place?" What in the ocean? [squeezes though some people] Pardon me. Don't mind me! [opens his front door] Just trying to get in my own front DOOR! [enters his house]
[Squidward takes his phone and calls the Health Inspector]
POPhone Operator
You've reached the Health Department. If you'd like to leave a message, wait for the cough.
[A person coughs through Squidward's phone]
Everybody's a comedian. This is Squidward Tentacles, and I'd like to lodge a complaint about my neighbor SpongeBob.
