Randy Marsh quotes from South Park

Oh, brother. Good job, Dad. Look at you now.

Oh, god damn it! Don't you lecture me, you son of a bitch!

You just had to be so damn stubborn, didn't you?

Now my son is going to talk to me like I'm 12!

We're not treating you like children, Dad, alright. Now I think you owe Mr. Police Officer an apology. Who needs to apologize, hmm? Who's a sorry sorry?

Kiss my sagging ass!

Stan

Dad, why is everyone letting the old people do this? Why doesn't somebody stop them?

They've tried to stop them, son, but the seniors get up so early in the morning they...get everything done before everyone else is even awake.

Kyle

They're saying something about taking over the whole country!

Yes... And now seeing how early they get up, I don't see how anyone can stop them. Wait a minute! You boys! You get up almost as early as they do. You can fight them.

Stan

No, come on dad! Can't you guys do it?

No, son, we...like to sleep in.

Well, Randy, that was some great advice you gave our son yesterday.

What?

Those kids showed up to serve Stan again, and he danced back.

Well, what happened?

It's on.

[as Stan returns home] Well, there he is. Where have you been all afternoon?

Stan

I was over at the new neighbors, the Jeffersons.

Oh, are they nice people?

Stan

Yeah, it's just the dad and his son.

Well, we're supposed to have the Broflovskis and the Stotches over for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll invite Mr. Jefferson too.

Stan

[frustrated by this point] I'm trying to order a double cheeseburger!

[with difficulty] Chic-ken san'wich? [points to the chicken sandwich sign]

Stan

NO, NOT A CHICKEN SANDWICH! [Randy and Sharon enter the restaurant as he starts losing his temper] I WANT A GODDAMN CHEESEBURGER AND SOME GODDAMN FRIES, YOU FUCKING GOOBACKS!!!

[sharped] STAN MARSH!

Stan

[realizing he's busted] Aw--awwww!

Oh my God. THEY TOOK MY JOB!

Stan

Dey took yer jahb!

Stan

Jesus Christ…Dad?!

Stan?

Stan

Dad, oh my God!

Stan.

Stan

What, Dad, are you dying?

No, I'm just really really tired. I was shopping at Wall-Mart all night.

Dad?

Huh?

You're the greatest.

You better shut your mouth before I shut it for you!

What do you wanna do?

Now for the finishing move! You're about to be "Batdad-ed"!

Stop! Stop or you're going to get your teams disqualified!

Stan

Disqualified? Fight! Keep fighting!

Break it up! Break it up!

Vamanos Pueblo! Vive El Pueblo! (Let's go Pueblo! Long live Pueblo!)

[takes out Spanish-English Dictionary] Pueblo no bueno...Pueblo es muy Mal. (Pueblo is not good. Pueblo is very bad.)

Maybe we should strip these jackets off and warm our bodies next to each other.

Don't be a fag!

Stan

Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!

What?!

Stan

Tom Cruise locked himself in my closet and he won't come out.

[knocks on closet door] Mr. Cruise? Mr. Cruise, come out of the closet.

No!

Come on, Mr. Cruise, this is ridiculous.

I'm never coming out!

[to Stan] What did you say to him?

Stan

I just told him I thought the Napoleon Dynamite guy is a better actor than he is.

Oh boy.

Stan

Dad, aren't you kind of drunk?

It's okay, Stan, I just had some beers to keep my buzz going.

Stan

Dad, aren't you supposed to, like, not drink and drive?

I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking, right boys? [looks to Eric, Kyle, and Ike in the back]

Eric

...sure, whatever, dude.

Stan! Stan!(appears bald) Staaaaaaaaan!

Stan

Ah, God damn it!