[yawns] Oh God, memorial services are sooo boring.
[jabs Cartman and says in hushed tones] You insensitive as-hole, Cartman! Nine people died!
Yeah, but like, eight of them were hippies. Mostly hippies go to farmer's markets. Mostly.
“Grey Dawn” · Season 7, Episode 10
In this episode: Kyle Broflovski (3), Randy Marsh (3), Eric Cartman (2), Stan Marsh (2), Father Maxi (1)
It is sometimes hard, in times like these, to understand God's way. Why would He allow nine innocent people to be run down in the prime of their lives by a senior citizen who, perhaps, shouldn't be driving? It is then that we must understand, God's sense of humor is very different from our own. He does not laugh at the simple "man walks into a bar" joke. No, God needs complex irony and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me. All that we can hope for is that God got His good laugh and a tragedy such as this will never happen again.
I think old people should have rights, grandpa. I just don't want to die.
Oh, brother. Good job, Dad. Look at you now.
MGrandpa Marsh
Oh, god damn it! Don't you lecture me, you son of a bitch!
You just had to be so damn stubborn, didn't you?
MGrandpa Marsh
Now my son is going to talk to me like I'm 12!
We're not treating you like children, Dad, alright. Now I think you owe Mr. Police Officer an apology. Who needs to apologize, hmm? Who's a sorry sorry?
MGrandpa Marsh
Kiss my sagging ass!
The poor kid passes it to the Jew, the Jew shoots. Oh, and the shot is blocked again, proving once and for all that Jews cannot play hockey!
It's not fair! Cartman's fatter than the goal!
I'm not fat, I just have a sweet hockey body.
Dad, why is everyone letting the old people do this? Why doesn't somebody stop them?
They've tried to stop them, son, but the seniors get up so early in the morning they...get everything done before everyone else is even awake.
They're saying something about taking over the whole country!
Yes... And now seeing how early they get up, I don't see how anyone can stop them. Wait a minute! You boys! You get up almost as early as they do. You can fight them.
No, come on dad! Can't you guys do it?
No, son, we...like to sleep in.
Son! Avenge me! Avenge... meh!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.