Stan, Randy and others in “Trapped in the Closet”

Stan

Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!

What?!

Stan

Tom Cruise locked himself in my closet and he won't come out.

[knocks on closet door] Mr. Cruise? Mr. Cruise, come out of the closet.

No!

Come on, Mr. Cruise, this is ridiculous.

I'm never coming out!

[to Stan] What did you say to him?

Stan

I just told him I thought the Napoleon Dynamite guy is a better actor than he is.

Oh boy.