[Stan walks into his house to discover his dad lying on the floor, looking ill.]
Jesus Christ…Dad?!
Stan?
Dad, oh my God!
Stan.
What, Dad, are you dying?
No, I'm just really really tired. I was shopping at Wall-Mart all night.
“Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes” · Season 8, Episode 9
In this episode: Eric Cartman (3), Stan Marsh (3), Kyle Broflovski (3), Randy Marsh (1)
Whoa, pixie sticks, 29 cents! [slips into a trance] Wall-Mart? Are you speaking to me? ...My friends...trying to hurt you again? Yes Wall-Mart, I understand.
Three tickets to Bentonville, Arkansas, please.
Hey, guys, wait up. I want to go with you and help out.
No way. You want to come with us so you can betray us at some point and keep us from destroying Wall-Mart.
(Silence for a considerable time)
Nu-uh.
Look. You want to come with us so that later I can go "Ha ha, I was working for Wall-Mart all along" or something.
I am not, Kyle!
Dude, just let him come, the bus is about to leave.
[Kenny and Stan walk off]
Okay okay..
[Kyle walks off; Cartman takes out a knife]
Ha ha, you fools have no idea that I will never let you hurt the Wall-Mart.
[Kyle runs back]
Hey!
What?
You said that we have no idea that you are never going to let us hurt the Wall-Mart.
That's not what I said!
[Stan comes back]
Dude, come on.
He's working for the Wall-Mart to stop us from succeeding!
Dude, we have to go.
Alright. Cartman, let's blow this popsicle stand!
[off screen] Hurry up!
He he, you stupid fools have no idea that I'm actually working for the Wall-Mart to stop you from succeeding!
[The boys finally reach Arkansas in a bus]
Goddamn, that took a long time.
Well, It would have been faster if Cartman didn't slashed the tires.
[As Stan, Kyle, and Kenny prepare to infiltrate and destroy Wall-Mart, they are confronted by Cartman wielding a dagger:]
Wall-Mart's a great store! I cannot let you fools ruin its terrific bargains. You see, I was working for Wall-Mart all along!
I knew you were.
No, you didn't.
(frustrated) Yes, I did. I said from the beginning that you would do this!
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did!
No, you didn't!
Yes, I did!
No, you didn't!
[Kyle and Cartman argue back and forth like this until they're shouting at the same time.]
(after a brief silence) You see, Kyle, it was me who slashed the bus tires-
(speaking over him) -slashed the bus tires in Arkansas. I said so! I told you the minute-
(places hands over ears) LALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Hey, I told you-
I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALALALA!
[They both go silent]
(brandishes dagger again) I'm sorry, boys, but if you want to hurt the Wall-Mart, you'll have to go through me.
We don't have time for this! Kenny, keep him away from us.
[Stan and Kyle go around Cartman, while Kenny steps up and faces him.]
Very well, Kenny. Let us battle!
[Kenny starts hitting Cartman]
Ow! Kenny! Kenny, knock it off!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.