DuckyWe have a rising tide.
You and me take measurements. We'll rebuild them later in the lab. Kate, more photos!
Ducky
We've got to keep him dry.
I've got the farthest boulder.
Eleven point three six meters.
Fifteen point seven one. Eleven point three six. Got them.
His dive knife is missing.
Ducky
Yeah, you didn't see this coming, did you, my friend?
(Waves heard in background)
(Tony dives to stop the water)
Ducky
(Chuckles) Well done, Tony.
Ducky
I've got a spare suit in the van.
[To a soaking wet and obviously freezing cold DiNozzo] You OK? What is it?
Ducky
I thought I was going mad. I mean, the two autopsies were nearly identical. It was déjà vu all over again.
Hey, that's a Yogi Berra quote.
Not Yogi Bear, Yogi Berra.
Well, judging by your reaction, he's either a sportsperson or a bouncer at a strip club.
This autopsy give us anything the other one didn't?
Ducky
The bullet was in better shape. And I noticed something peculiar in his nose, so I did a swab.
A swab, Duck? Kind of old school, isn't it?
Ducky
Oh, I just go where the evidence takes me. I recall a case in my early career, yeah, before we had the benefit of all this marvelous technology. A young man, barely 20 years old, he had jelly from a doughnut on his face.
Ducky
Yes?
What did you find in his nose?
Ducky
Cellulosic fiber, lignin.
Ducky
Well, sawdust, to be precise.
Hey, Boss, don't you have some kind of weird thing about women and sawdust? I don't think it's weird.
Laura Seeger said that her husband had a woodshop out back.
Yeah, well, she also said he hadn't used it in a month. I mean, it wouldn't still be there in his nose after a month, would it, Ducky?
Ducky
No, that was recent.
Well, he could've been woodworking somewhere else.
Ducky
Yeah, something else showed up on the swab. A dog's hair.
Laura Seeger had two dogs in the back. But she seems to have a solid alibi.
One of her errands was to the bank. Charlie could give us the surveillance tapes. They'd all be time-stamped.
Yeah, but if she was guilty, why would she just offer up her DNA so freely?
Because she didn't know we had something to match it to.
[Tony, Kate, and Gibbs are sitting in wait against their car after Gibbs claims he saw a bomb in the house they were searching]
Are you sure it was a bomb, Gibbs?
Yes, DiNozzo. For the last time... I'm sure it was a bomb.
If you say so. EOD sure taking their sweet time getting here.
[Van arrives with Ducky and Gerald]
Ducky
Sorry we're late. Gerald got us lost several times.
We have our own problems here, Ducky.
Ducky
Yeah, I can see that. FBI take over our crime scene again?
Gibbs thought he saw a bomb.
[annoyed] What do you mean 'thought'?
Do I really have to say it?
Ducky
Yes, Kate. Say what?
You need glasses, Gibbs. Are you happy?
[behind them, the house suddenly explodes, sending everyone exclaiming to the ground]
[slowly lifting his head] Sorry. I didn't quite catch that last part...
[Gibbs and Ducky are examining the corpse]
Ducky
As they say in the high country markets of Sri Lanka, there's more than one way to skin a mongoose. Actually there are three...
[interrupts Ducky] Ducky!
Ducky
Can I trouble you for the left ear, Mr. Palmer?
Uh (holds the ear to his left ear to make sure it's the same one) One left ear coming up!
Ducky
Huh.
Ducky
That's odd!
What? It's not the left ear!
Ducky
It's the left just not the right left...so to speak!
Ducky
Three bodies! (Jimmy sighs in annoyance and pushes the drawer shut) Time to start another table!
Hey Ducky! My computer died! We need somewhere cooler to set up shop!
Ducky
(looking at the meat puzzle on the tables) Well we're a little short on space for the moment Abigail but you can use 107! (opens the drawer to find a cadaver still in there) Definately not 107! His relatives were supposed to arrange for him to be taken back last week! Uh...Will this do?
Oh can I give you a hand?
Ducky
Do you suspect foul play?
Well, you know me, Ducky. I suspect everything.
Ducky
Yes, that's an admirable trait for an investigator. And also, I suspect, the reason your three marriages ended in divorce.
Really? And all this time, I thought it was because I'm a bastard.
[Ducky and Jimmy Palmer are examining a corpse which has been partially chewed off by scavengers]
Ducky
Indiscriminate predators, coyotes. Fish, cats, garbage, they'll eat anything they can chew. Unlike my mother who can no longer chew anything. I assure you, Mr Palmer, it is a beastly sight.
Ducky
[looks at Palmer] I was speaking of my mother.
[looks up at Ducky] Right.
NCIS · 1,787 quotes
