Kate Todd quotes from NCIS

Kate

Thank god Tony is still alive.

Kate

Who else you know who pisses people off like that?

Kate

Damn it Tony I should just take you home and just get you into bed...

Tony

Gibbs, the pilot won't take off until the Secret Service chick gives us the... [sees Kate with Gibbs] ... thumbs up.

Kate

I think that just made it my team.

Gibbs

No, means I'm gonna have to hijack Air Force One. Tony, escort Agent Todd off this aircraft and close the hatch.

Kate

You're not serious! Wait. Fine. Your team. But just because I don't want to have to delay us any further by having to shoot you.

Tony

Excuse me. You'll need to stand clear so I can take measurements for my crime scene sketches. Thanks.

Kate

Sketches? You've taken a dozen photos.

Tony

[Picks up a men's magazine] Tell me her measurements.

Kate

You're pathetic.

Tony

No, I'm serious. Can you tell if she's 5'4 and a 34C or 5'7 and a 36D? You can't. Not from a photo. That's why we do sketches and take measurements. Thanks.

Ducky

I thought your photo analysis was brilliant, Tony, but isn't 36D a bit of wishful thinking?

Tony

You think?

Gibbs

NCIS does not leak. These plans get out... you can shoot DiNozzo.

Kate

No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.

Gibbs

Rule Number One: Never let suspects stay together.

Gibbs

Rule Number Two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

Gibbs

Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told. Always double check.

Kate

Should I write these rules on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?

Gibbs

Kate. (she takes gum) When's the President returning?

Kate

Uh, tomorrow. Noon. I'm flying back tonight to rejoin the detail.

Gibbs

Mind if I tag along?

Gibbs

(childishly) Please?

Kate

(smiling smugly) You can. Your Sig Sauer can't. We have a rule: no weapons on Air Force One unless they're Secret Service. Kate pops the gum in her mouth. Gibbs shrugs and takes off his sidearm, tucking it away in a drawer. He puts on his coat and follows Kate out.

Gibbs

(to Ducky and Abby as he passes) Keep looking.

Abby

(amused) Wow. Gibbs said "please".

Gibbs

Okay you can be on my team!

Kate

Your team? Why should you have lead on the investigation?

Gibbs

Well...I do believe this is a dead naval officer!

Kate

Who died on Air Force One after having lunch with the President...it's my job to protect!

Gibbs

Have you ever worked a crime scene?

Kate

I am in the Secret Service!

Gibbs

I thought so.

Kate

Well, don't dismiss me like that! I mean I earned my jock strap!

Gibbs

Yeah? Did it ever give you that empty feeling?

Kate

What?

Gibbs

(subtle flirting) Your jock strap!

Kate

(smiling) No! Like some species of frog (subtle flirting) I grow what I need!

Gibbs

How long to find the acid and check out the rest of the chutes?

Abby

Well, I'm flying solo, so at least a day.

Gibbs

Go faster if you had an assistant?

Abby

Definitely.

Gibbs

Okay, you got the job.

Kate

I get to do forensics?

Gibbs

No, you get to schlep for Abby. She gets to do forensics.

Abby

Sulfuric Acid. That'd chew the shine off a trailer hitch.

Kate

How'd you get into this?

Abby

I filled out an application.

Kate

How'd you get into NCIS?

Tony

I smiled.

Kate

DiNozzo, your mind goes from X to XXX.

Tony

Yeh...

Abby

Sulfuric acid. That'd chew the shine off a trailer hitch.

Kate

How'd you get into this stuff?

Abby

Filled out an application.

Kate

I mean...forensics.

Abby

Oh, uh, when I was kid we used to live by this lot where hey brought all the burned out hulks from the gnarliest car wrecks. I used to sneak in at night and take pictures. It wasn't about the gore. It was about figuring out how things happened. You know, like action, reaction, the science of the whole thing. I got hooked. How about you?

Kate

Actually, I wanted to be a lawyer. I did a...a year in law school. It felt like ten years in prison.

Abby

With really boring inmates? (Kate laughs)

Abby

Admit it. You just like strapping on a gun.

Kate

More than one.

Abby

Really? You packing more heat than meets the eye?

Kate

Those your only tattoos?

Abby

You show me yours, I'll show you mine. (Kate chuckles)

Tony

Look who I found. MPs weren't gonna let her pass.

Kate

I've got my SIG and badge, but HQ didn't issue my photo ID. Oh my, God. Is this for real?

Ducky

Unfortunately, my dear, it is.

Gibbs

(Hands Kate gloves) Put 'em on.

Ducky

Huh, your first crime scene with us, Caitlin.

Kate

What about Air Force One?

Ducky

Doesn't count, you were in the Secret Service. Hey, Tony, take a team photo for posterity.

Gibbs

Forget posterity. The sun's gonna be up soon. Welcome to NCIS. [hands Kate a pair of boots]

Kate

How did you know my size?

Gibbs

Put 'em on. You can't work a field in high heels. [smiles]

Tony

Depends on the kind of work you're doing.

Kate

Your mind, DiNozzo, runs the gamut from "X" to triple "X".

Tony

Yeah?

Kate

Thanks, DiNozzo.

Tony

Hey, you could be the NCIS poster girl in that outfit.

Why didn't you just ask to see my key?

Gibbs

Agent Todd is new. Just teaching her how to interrogate!

Wait. You suspected me! That's why you wanted to know what I'd been doing all day!

Kate

If the Captain was a suspect...wouldn't we have read him his rights?

Gibbs

Very good, Agent Todd! Great!