Tony DiNozzo quotes from NCIS

Tony

Wow! In that outfit, you could be NCIS cover girl.

Tony

[about to send drug kingpins to Gitmo as suspected terrorists] You do not have the right to remain silent. You do not have the right to an attorney. If you want an attorney, you won't get an appointment to see one. Do you understand these rights you don't have?

Tony

[to Gibbs] When you're a computer geek invading dungeons and fighting ogres, Jethro doesn't cut it. [look from Gibbs] ... Neither does Tony.

Tony

For a crew that doesn't do drugs, you guys sure do a lot of drugs.

Tony

I love everything Swiss! Knives, cheese... the Alps! I even like ABBA!

Tony

40-mile zone ended 2 miles back, Boss. Limit's 65... I only mention it because you usually drive slightly faster than Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

Tony

Houston. The cell phone has landed.

Tony

Anyone, and I mean anyone, know when the air conditioner is getting fixed? What about the name of the genius who invented windows that don't open? Like, what are we on - a space ship? Windows should open!

Tony

Nothing says welcome to manhood as perfectly as a skillful lapdance.

Tony

You can't drown in a stream, Jeffery. You can get wet, you can get frickin' freezing, but you can't drown!

Tony

[referring to Ducky's elderly mother] Her last words to me were either "I'm gonna slit your throat" or "kiss your moat." I couldn't tell 'cause she was slurring.

Tony

Tony DiNozzo. Italian, gigolo, furniture mover.

Tony

Twinkle Toes, Candy Pants, stay behind your mom here.

Tony

Boss, I don't know if you want to see this but you probably should...

Tony

Little miss tighty pants here blows it out of proportion.