Timothy McGee quotes from NCIS

McGee

One man's Linux is another man's OS/2

McGee

Boss, what exactly is Ziva doing in there? [Gibbs just looks at him] I don't want to know. [Gibbs shakes his head] Okay.

McGee

Abby, what do I do? It's like, I'm nuts for this girl, you know? And she's just... nuts.

McGee

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

Well, you know what? This is an emergency! I have direct orders from Admiral... Nicholas Whitebeard. Yes, yes, that is his name. He's the Admiral that oversees the... Northern Polar Regions.

McGee

The guy from United Equinox lied to us. Geek bastard!

McGee

[sympathetically to Abby] You can't solve everyone's problems. Some people have demons they have to overcome.

McGee

There's enough eye candy in here to send you into a diabetic shock.

McGee

(to a suspect nursing a gunshot wound) I know it was dark, but I'm pretty sure we met last night.

Timothy McGee

I've heard stories about Special Agent Gibbs.

Tony

Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.

McGee

That's breaking and entering.

Tony

No. That was breaking... and this is entering.

Tony

Listen kid, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.

McGee

I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about?

Tony

[nods] 

McGee

I went with Mom.

Tony

[stands there in shock, realizing McGee just got a tattoo on his butt to impress Abby] 

Kate

I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?

Gibbs

He told him he got a tat on his ass.

Kate

[Gapes at the elevator McGee just entered]

Gibbs

Let's pay a visit to the submarine squadron commander. [walks away]

McGee

You'll wanna avoid Captain Veitch.

Gibbs

[stops in his tracks, turns to McGee] What?

McGee

Um, I met him once before... and he can be very difficult.

Gibbs

[into McGee's face] And you don't think I could be difficult?

McGee

[intimidated] I'm sure you can, sir.

Tony

I don't know what you just said, I don't care what you just said, just give me the number. Why is there an asterisk?

McGee

Ummmm, not sure.

Tony

[gives him a look]

McGee

...sir?

Tony

That wasn't an "add a sir" look. That was a "you better find out why" look.

McGee

Oh.

Tony

's alright. Rookie mistake.

Tony

You know what my dad always said about excuses?

McGee

Yeah. They're like armpits. Everybody has them and they all stink.

Tony

Actually, he used a different part of the anatomy. But yeah, same difference.