Jen quotes from NCIS

Hello Jethro! (Gibbs pictures the two of them having sex in Paris) Shall we skip the "You-havn't-changed-a-bit" bull?

Gibbs

Why start lying to each other now Jen?

Any problem taking orders from me?

Gibbs

As Director or as a woman?

Either.

(firmly) Special Agent Gibbs! (he turns around and walks to her) On the job...it is Director Shepeard or Ma'am!

Gibbs

Okay. What about off the job?

There won't be any "off the job", Agent Gibbs!

Gibbs

That's too bad.(meaning he still loves her) I missed you, Jen!

(her cheeks flushed) Don't make this difficult, Jethro!

Gibbs

Fair enough. It won't happen again, Director.

(walks in front of him) We can continue this conversation in private.

Gibbs

(flirting) I've gotta change my clothes. We can talk in my car on the way to the house.

(warning him) Gibbs!

Gibbs

Hey! I've got a dead agent and a sniper on the loose, I do not have ten minutes to spare!

This the same boat you were building six years ago?

Gibbs

Nope!

What happened to it?

Gibbs

I burned her!

Why would you...you named it after an ex-wife?

Gibbs

Lets go!

Which one?

Gibbs

You know damn well "which one"!

Why didn't you just change the name?

Gibbs

Because it wouldn't matter! Every time I went out on her I'd think of Diane!

You could have sold it!

Gibbs

And watch some other guy sail off on her?

(meaning sex) You didn't care who sailed off on Diane! Leroy Jethro Gibbs. You are a strange man!

Gibbs

Me? (scoffs) You were a good agent Jen!

Were?

Gibbs

Yeah! Director's job is pure politics!

I'm good at politics! NCIS needs someone who can shake the money tree on the hill AND work with sister agencies!

Gibbs

Wait! You won't call a boat a 'She'...but it's 'Sister Agencies'?

I'm a schitzoid libber! Comes from working with chauvanists like you!

Gibbs

I can't believe you'd give up field work for rubber chicken dinners!

I don't think they serve that dish at Palena!

Gibbs

Never heard of it!

Why would you? IT isn't take out!

Gibbs

So which of the tight sphincters is taking you out? Please tell me "it's not Fornell"!

CBS Early Show. They want coverage before I go on T.V!

Gibbs

No! Jen you can't do that!

Excuse me?

Gibbs

Ari is a chauvanist! He's taking the lives of the women I work with before me! So please...don't take that interview!

I'll see if I can postpone it a few days!

Gibbs

Thank you!

I can't believe it.

Gibbs

What?

I'm Director of NCIS less than 24hrs and I'm back on the street!

Gibbs

(smiles) Great isn't it!?

No Jethro! It isn't!

Gibbs

(flirting) Come on. Come on. You love it!

Truthfully? I'd rather be in bed! (Gibbs looks at her surprised then she notices the look and adds quickly) Sleeping.

Gibbs

Do you remember that stakeout in Marseilles? August, stuck in that attic with no-one. Photographing everyone that boarded that Lebanese trawler. (she looks away from him knowing what comes next in his recollection)That second night was the first time we...

(cutting him off, blushing) Okay! (She covers his mouth the whispers embarrased) Shut up!

Always admired your way with children. Ever think to have any of your own?

Gibbs

That an offer, Jen?

Tony

New hires just keep getting younger, eh Madam Director?

(smiling) Obviously you didn't get the memo, Agent Dinozzo!

Tony

(confused as he keeps up with all memos and emails) What memo?

Ziva

The one where it explains the next person to call her "Madam" gets keelhauled, what ever that is.

Tony

(grimacing) It's... uh (struggles to think of how to describe it)

Unpleasant!

(walks down the steps to Gibbs's basement wearing a long, low cut revealing dress)

Gibbs

(under his breath staring) Hubba-Hubba! Dinner at the White House?

A date actually!

Gibbs

(flirting) Must be an important guy for you to get all decked out!

(flirting back) I'd prefer if you told me you liked my dress!

Gibbs

(visibly jealous) I haven't decided yet!

McGee

Boss, do you really not know what coitus interruptus means?

Gibbs

Better question, do you know what it means if you haven't located Stewart? (McGee runs off in fear)

Ziva

(leaning against the wall) My father used to say (speaks in Hebrew) אש קטנה שורפת הרבה תירס

Gibbs

Translate.

(walks up to an unsuspecting Gibbs) "A little fire burns a great deal of corn"!

Gibbs

(not understanding the phrase she said) What?

It never really made sense to me either!

Ziva

It loses something in translation...director.

What are you thinking about?

Gibbs

Paris.

Get your mind out of the bedroom, Jethro.

Gibbs

You're still here?

No. I'm the Director's doppelganger!

Gibbs

I never did know what that meant! (to a girl who has rode in the elevator with them) Goodnight!

(scared) Goodnight!

Gibbs

So a doppelganger is someone who's pissed?

Yes Agent Gibbs this one definitely is!

Gibbs

Why?

Why? Because you countermanded me in front of Metro Police!

Gibbs

I didn't countermand you! You overruled me!

Oh...Semantics!

Gibbs

(as she walks out) Is that like "doppelganger"?

(from down the hall) Get a dictionary!

With all due respect, Director Shepard, I think we all know what happened here. Nobody else saw another vehicle in the alley. A nervous rookie panicked. Fired prematurely. Killed a veteran cop.

Gibbs

McGee's young, but he's a damn good agent. Are you sure your partner wasn't carrying a weapon last night?

It would have blown his cover on the case that we were working.

Gibbs

You said he was off duty just like you are right now.

Yeah.

Gibbs

You're carrying.... in the small of your back. Your partner's liver said he drank a lot.

Oh, go to hell.

Gentlemen...

I'm not going to stand for a cover-up.

And neither am I, Captain! I shared our preliminary report and you'll have full access to our findings.

I'm going to conduct my own investigation.

That is your prerogative.

And I want to interrogate McGee.

Gibbs

That's not going to happen!

I'll handle this, Special Agent Gibbs.

Gibbs

McGee has made his statement. That's not going to change.

Thank you for coming. You'll have NCIS's full cooperation.

Do I get to question Agent McGee?

Yes. But not today.

[on the phone to Gibbs] Gibbs, where are you?

Gibbs

[opening Director's office door behind Jen] Right behind you.

I really hate it when you do that. [she hangs up]

Gibbs

Okay, you want me to help fix this? Then get me that reporter's number.

You're going to apologize?

Gibbs

No, ask her to dinner.

[To Tony, after she gave Ziva information on the case] Something wrong?

Tony

Oh, just wondering if Gibbs knows who Ziva's secret contact is.

We had a saying in Europe: "Whatever Gibbs doesn't know..."

Tony

"...can't hurt him".

No. "Can't hurt us".

[Looking through two-way mirror at Sean Oliver sitting in the interrogation room] Do you think it would be inappropriate if, as director, I went in there and smacked that smile off her face?

Gibbs

Yeah, it would, but that's what you have me for.