Ellie Bishop quotes from NCIS

Ellie Bishop

[confused] What just happened? Did I do something wrong?

Tony

No, you just passed your first test. Rhoda from HR. [whispers] Legendary.

McGee

But don't get too kind. Still gotta take that polygraph.

Bishop

I have to take another polygraph??!

Tony

Uh-hmm. And then all you have to do is survive Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. In case you haven't heard the man––

Bishop

[in a low voice] Is actually coming up behind you right now.

McGee

[glares at Bishop] You're not supposed to do that.

Bishop

[crestfallen] What do I do now???

Tony

[smirks] You've made a friend.

Bishop

So Agent Fornell was married to Gibbs' ex-wife?

Tony

[grins] Yup.

Bishop

And the owner of the second cellphone from our crime scene was dating Gibbs' ex-wife?

McGee

Yup.

Bishop

Phoah. That's quite a coincidence.

Tony

[chuckles] I know. It really is.

McGee

You know, it's hard to imagine the same woman liking Fornell and this Eddie guy. Although maybe Diane liked him because he's not Fornell.

Best to leave the psychoanalysis to Ducky. If you value breathing.

McGee

[looks behind to Bishop] Bishop, you could've warned me.

Bishop

[innocently] You said I wasn't supposed to do that!

Gibbs

[walks in] Tobias, hey, what are you doing here?

Just thought you might need some help. Diane's really worried. Just want to put her mind at ease.

Gibbs

[smirks] Yeah, uh-huh.

You shot me... in the caboose. You owe me.

Ellie Bishop

Are you ok, McGee?

McGee

Was just thinking about little Emma here and the Dalys, they must be so happy

Bishop

Yeah and I feel bad about scaring them the way I did.

McGee

You still haven't gotten over that?

Bishop

Well, like they didn't have enough on their plates without me suggesting a "targeted chemical attack".

Tony

I've done worse. [Bishop looks at him] And McGee? [points to McGee] He's...remember the time with the–– [McGee looks at Tony] I'm not gonna talk about it but it's.....it's been done. You just have to move on. You made a mistake.

Bishop

A big mistake.

Gibbs

Learn from it. Move on.

Tony

Leroy Ebenezer Gibbs, did we just agree on something?

Gibbs

[deadpan, retorts] Hey! Bob Cratchit, find patient zero, huh?

Tony

And a playful movie reference. It really is starting to feel like Christmas.

Bishop

So we're looking for a bullet because....?

Tony

Clipped a guy. Could have DNA on it.

Bishop

Parsa's?

Tony

No, driver.

Bishop

Seriously??? How did you get that?

Tony

Well, it's like Gorillas in the Mist. You'll come to understand his grunts.

Bishop

Did you know the agent who sat here before?

[smiles and nods] I knew both of them.

Bishop

Well, you don't have to tell me. It's pretty clear I'm looking at some gigantic shoes....unfillable.

True. But I think both women who sat there would say the same thing. When it comes to growing, there's no better place for a desk than next to these three. [glances at Gibbs, McGee and Tony's desks]

Probie!!

McGee

When we call, it usually means you come to us.

Bishop

At first, "Probie" sounded endearing and cute. Doesn't anymore.

Tony

Missing driver, go.

Bishop

He was a disgusting slob who lived in his truck. I found his dirty clothes, his dirty mattress, and his... dirty, dirty porn. This is all part of the rookie hazing thing, huh?

Tony

It's not hazing.

McGee

It's part of the job.

Tony

But we did learn that in addition to dirt and tight spaces Bishop is also good with heights. [pulls up a picture of Bishop climbing up a ladder, her eyes squeezed shut]

Bishop

[annoyed] This is more "hazing", I take it.

Gibbs

[matter-of-factly] Nope. It's all part of the job.

Bishop

Can I ask you a question?

Gibbs

Uh-hmm. Just did.

Bishop

You were a sniper. How did you do it?

Gibbs

Pulled the trigger.

Bishop

Right.... [pauses] But, what...what did you think about when you were taking aim?

Gibbs

Smoke checking the target, Bishop.

Bishop

Right, of course.

Tony

[to Gibbs about a suspect's appearance] Check that out. Mel Gibson wants his hair back from Lethal Weapon.

Tony

We should still arrest him for that hairdo.

Bishop

Hey, what do you have against mullets?

Tony

It's the whole decade I have trouble with. The 80's couldn't end fast enough for me.

Gibbs

Anything I can do?

Bishop

Uh, it's pretty self-explanatory, really.

Gibbs

Did you check to see if that little gizmo there is attached to that other giddy-bop?

Bishop

Mmm. Not yet. You think that'll do it?

Gibbs

If you spit on it. Sometimes that works.

Bishop

All right.

Tony

Oh, come on!

Gibbs

How's your love life, DiNozzo?

Tony

Huh?

Gibbs

You still seeing the secretary?

McGee

He means Andrea.

Bishop

Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?

Tony

Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.

Friends with benefits?

Gibbs

Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.

Bishop

You've heard of Amazon?

Gibbs

Yeah, the big one.

Bishop

So this is some sort of competition?

Tony

No. Uh-uh. After McGee's recent emancipation from coupledom, we were talking making a fresh start.

Bishop

[after Tony notices McGee hasn't shaved] I think beards are sexy. [Tony gives her a funny look] Can an NCIS agent grow one?

Tony

[to Bishop] Not you!

McGee

I'm not growing a beard. [...] I went back to the doctor's this morning. She told me I have pseudofolliculitis.

Tony

Is that a Mary Poppins song?