Gibbs, what did Ducky look like when he was younger?
[grinning] Ilya Kuryakin.
[N.B. When he was younger, David McCallum (Ducky) played the role of Soviet secret agent Ilya Kuryakin in the TV series The Man from U.N.C.L.E.]
“The Meat Puzzle” · Season 2, Episode 13
In this episode: Tony DiNozzo (4), Leroy Jethro Gibbs (4), Kate Todd (3), Ducky Mallard (2), Mrs. Mallard (2), Jimmy Palmer (1)
[referring to Ducky's elderly mother] Her last words to me were either "I'm gonna slit your throat" or "kiss your moat." I couldn't tell 'cause she was slurring.
Tony DiNozzo. Italian, gigolo, furniture mover.
The homicide detective, that completes the team.
You're forgetting the medical examiner.
Oh, that's you!
Mother, this is Caitlin. [Ducky's mother spits at Kate] Mother, we talked about this. She is here to protect us!
Show me your knickers.
Ma'am?
Underwear, missy! I can always tell a woman's intentions by her panties.
It's always been my philosophy.
You're relieved, Tony.
Oh, thank you. [pointing to the dog] This is Contessa, she likes it rough.
[eyeing Tony suspiciously] I have a knife in my brassiere.
You stick to him like an ex-wife after an alimony check.
[Palmer, Gibbs and McGee in the autopsy room examining a suspect's dental x-rays]
[points to x-ray] He gnaws his bones like a caveman?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.