Fornell quotes from NCIS

Realising how sad this sounds, you're the closest thing I have to a friend, Gibbs.

[entering after Gibbs] Hey Gibbs, what's taking so long? Come on, people! [claps his hands] Chop-chop! [sees] ...Holy Fourth of July Weenie Roast, WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKING AT?!

You think you can buy me? [Gibbs laughs as he departs; Fornell looks back to his plate.] Oh, who'm I kidding? Of course you can.

[angrily to suspect] So sit down, you walking midlife crisis!

Okay. But just so we're on the same page... if you so much as touch a hair on my daughter's head, so help me God, I will find you and I will rip your eyes out of your face and shove them so far down your throat you'll need a proctologist to read the evening paper.

Directors want your word that you'll forget about Ari. They think you'll blow his cover.

Gibbs

If I get pay back, it won't be by blowing his cover. Why are you asking me this and not my director?

He refused to.

Gibbs

[finally laughs] Yeah.

Anyone ever told you you're an insufferable bastard?

Gibbs

[pleased] Yeah.

Gibbs

You get Fornell in here.

DiNozzo

What should I tell him?

Gibbs

Tell him he's about to make the second biggest mistake of his life!

My second biggest mistake, Jethro? That's very dramatic. What was the first?

Gibbs

When you married my second wife.

You could have warned me!

Gibbs

I did!

And people say we're bastards?

Gibbs

Only because they know us.

Do you realise the kind of trouble you're in here, DiNozzo?

Tony

Oh, believe me. I do. Do you realise that you have an enormous clump of something green between your teeth?

This guy is implicated in a homicide and he's making jokes!

You've never worked with NCIS before, have you, Agent Sacks?

And I certainly wouldn't have let him steal my car.

Gibbs

Didn't, it was DiNozzo's car.

Shepard

Before you go, Fornell, there is one thing...

Gibbs

Come with me Tobias, I want to show you something.

You've got that moustache in a box, don't you?

Gibbs

McGee, less talk, more the computer chip doo-dah.

McGee

Working with the doo-dah, Boss.

Doo-dah?

Gibbs

Yeah, it's a technical term, Tobias, you wouldn't understand.

It amazes me how the truly sick ones are always the best liked. Pillars of the community.

Gibbs

They're successful because they blend in, Tobias. They go to church, they coach Little League baseball.

I was part of the team that nailed Bundy, Gibbs. I'm familiar with sick, charming bastards.

Gibbs

[smiles] That's probably why we get along so well.

I'll get over it. No hard feelings Jethro?

Gibbs

Nope. Just need you to look at something before you leave.

You've got that moustache in a box, don't you?