You weren't seriously going to let her shoot me, were you?
Nah.
You had a plan, right?
[unconvincingly] Yeah.
“Split Decision” · Season 1, Episode 21
In this episode: Tony DiNozzo (6), Leroy Jethro Gibbs (4), Abby Sciuto (2), Kate Todd (2), Timothy McGee (1), Ducky Mallard (1)
Don't be silly, ATF lady.
[describing the watch he is putting on] It's a locator. I won't activate it unless they move us.
[in a Sean Connery accent] Very James Bond - does it tell time, too?
I really liked her.
ATF agent involved in illegal weapons and murder - what's not to like?
So quick to judge, Kate. Sure she has flaws, sure she's going to prison, but my instincts tell me she had good qualities as well.
Two of them wouldn't happen to live under her shirt, would they?
[Gibbs and Ducky are examining the corpse]
As they say in the high country markets of Sri Lanka, there's more than one way to skin a mongoose. Actually there are three...
[interrupts Ducky] Ducky!
[shocked to find McGee sitting at Gibbs' desk] McGee! Are you nuts?
What?
You're at Gibbs' desk touching his computer! That's like touching the Ark of the Covenant!
Gibbs knows I'm doing this.
He said you could use his computer?
[nods head] Uh-huh.
Really? You know when mine fried he wouldn't let me touch his.
[walks into squad room] Because your fingers are always greasy from fried chicken and pizza.
How old am I?
Based on chronology or maturity?
I love Gus! It's very strong! What do you have to go with it?
Louis?
Gus Louis? It kinda sounds like a salad!
How about Bricker?
Gus Bricker. It's a tough one! Gibbs said to put some Military in the background.
Dishonorable discharge of course!
How about some time in Leavenworth?
What's the crime?
Something that fits my persona
How about violating Federal Obscenity Laws?
No! I mean my new sleazy gun running profile!
Drugs are always a safe bet!
Yeah. Drugs?
Got 3 to 5 paroled out on 2!
There is no justice in this world Abs!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.