Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[Nick loads sandwiches onto his plate at the food table.]

Servo

Uh, Nick, other people have to eat, too.

[The gang is quacking along with the background music.]

Servo

Now "Duck News". Here's Hugh McQuackin.

[During the opening PRC (Producers Releasing Corportation) logo...]

Servo

Penile Replacement Corporation pictures presents...

[During the title sequence]

Servo

[singing] They laughed when I Accused my Parents and I kill them... Let's see if they are laughing now...

[Mitchell spends several minutes silently comitting some mysterious act of sabotage on a car. It is unclear to the viewer what exactly Mitchell is doing.]

[Cortner cruises through town, eyeing shapely pedestrians, as the soundtack continues the porny sax music.]

[The monster, having escaped the closet earlier, bites out a chunk of Cortner's neck and quickly spits it out.]

[Reading the title card]

Servo

Is this love, or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?

[The first scene after the credits is a night shot of a narrow city street lined with apartment buildings.]

Servo

I'm as mad as hell!...

[Shot of the Chicago skyline as a droning sound plays continuously.]

Servo

When Brian Eno ruled Chicago.

[After the film fades out on a man being grabbed and carried off by a gang, it fades back in on a photograph of the same man.]

Tom Servo

[gasps] They flattened him!

[Anita Gonzales, having her mind replaced with a cat, is chased onto the roof and ends up clinging to the side. Despite an attempt to rescue her, she slips and...]

Servo

[giggling] And she floats gently to her death!

[Title of short appears]

Servo

Your last clear chance... for fantastic savings!

[A young "African" helper jumps off a sleigh.]