[Reading the title card]
Is this love, or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
“Teen-Age Strangler” · Season 5
In this episode: Tom Servo (4), Mike Nelson (4), Crow T. Robot (3), Liz (3), Narrator (1)
[Inside the college dorm room]
So... Where's Waldo?
He's under the bed.
[We see Liz, an oddly mature woman, brushing her hair before bed.]
CCrow
Geez! How many times was she held back?
Heh heh heh.
LLiz
Hi, Peg!
[In the mirror, we see college girl Peg toss her books on her bed.]
MAMike [as Peg]
Hi, Mom.
PPeg
I think I'll send a telegram instead.
LLiz
Don't be silly, Peg! You always talk as if your mother were an… ogre, or something.
MAMike [as Liz]
Well, I've known her for fifty years…
LLiz
Honestly, Peg -- I don't know how many times, ever since we were in high school together, I've heard you go on the same way about some man or other.
PPeg
Oh, but this is different, Liz! Really it is!
MAMike [as Peg]
He's anatomically correct, and everything!
PPeg
It's the real thing.
LLiz
I remember when I first felt that way about Andy.
SAServo [as Liz]
...at the turn of the century.
[The short is ending.]
How would you answer this question for Liz and Andrew? Peggy and Joey?
Bob and Carol? Ted and Alice?
How can you tell? Is this love?
CCrow
You have ten minutes to answer the question starting now.
[Servo imitates a clock ticking.]
And, now stay tuned for the Clarance Thomas-Anita Hill hearing.
CCrow
No animals were hurt during the filming of this movie.
[A list of related film titles scrolls on the screen.]
"How Much Affection?"
CCrow
"When Should I Marry?"
[Mike and the bots continue with fake titles.]
"Know Your Ointments"
"What's That Down There?"
CCrow
"When He Wants It Rough"
"Procreation, Not Recreation"
"Oh No, Pleasure!"
CCrow
"McClintock!"
Teen-Age Strangler (movie)
[As a girl is strangled]
CCrow
Splendor in the Grass 2: Dream Warrior!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.