A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,660 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (818), Mike Nelson (376), Joel Robinson (271)
[during a radio show]
And now, a special message for those naughty boys and girls who took the institute's mummy. Here's my in-studio guest, our own Professor Douglas McCadden.
Wow, hot show.
Thank you very much, Linda. To whom it may concern...
[as Douglas] GIVE IT BACK, GIVE IT BACK, YOU SONS OF-!!!
[Bill has been stood up by a woman at a fraternity party]
Damn! That's it. I'm through with women! I'm gonna be a priest! [is suddenly surrounded by multiple girls who greet him]
Oh, a priest? We love priests!
[seductively] Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned!
Oooh, I'm about to.
[one of the scientists rushes to claim a stray crystal for the mummy's (actually a space alien's) device that got left behind]
Big mistake.
[the scientist's hand starts to corrode from a flesh-eating virus from the crystal as he cries out in agony]
They're not supposed to melt your hand.
Hate that; the Claw.
[over the credits] You know, I think this is the worst movie we've ever seen here.
Really? What about Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy?
Worse (than that), worse.
What about Sidehackers?
Worse.
Cave Dwellers?
Worse.
Catalina Caper?
Worse.
Pod People?
Worse!
Hellcats?
Oh, worse.
Daddy-O?
Worse!
Rocket Attack USA?
Worse.
Earth vs. the Spider?
Definitely worse.
Ring of Terror?
Worse!
It Conquered the World?
Uh... yeah, worse!
The Manchingo Coniglium?
[uncertain] Oh, huh?
Hey, Teenagers from Outer Space was much, much better!
[This movie]'s a ton worse.
How about The Castle of Fu Manchu?
Okay, I'll grant you The Castle of Fu Manchu was just as bad, but we've never done a worse film!
[Ray "Crash" Corrigan is given a physical by Naval doctors.]
Fine chap. I wish we had more like him!
Keep your mind on your work, Ron. You're in enough trouble as it is!
He'll make a fine Naval officer.
He'll make several of them!
Attack of the Giant Leeches (movie)
[Sultry Liz slips out of her kimono, revealing a black bra and leopard-print panties.]
Oh, Mommy!
Honey West!
Joel, I thought underwear was supposed to match.
And the crowd goes wild!
[dully] Yay.
[While on the boat, Captain Sherman spots something through his binoculars.]
Hey, Rook!, Rook, come here!
These things make everything look bigger!
[it's Present Day for the Bots]
What did I get?
Oh, Gypsy, you didn't get anything; Joel forgot he even had a robot named Gypsy!
[angrily] Quiet, Crow! You want to ruin Present Day by being naughty?!
[later on] What did I get? Me next!
I saved the best for last- I got you... dress slacks from J.C. Penney.
[dumbfounded] ...Oh.
Oh, come on, it's a great gift; you can wear it for dressy or casual... I'm gonna have to get you a nice polo top though...
[crestfallen as the other Bots laugh at him] Thank you for the pants...
[Ulysses, wild over Hercules' recovery, chases after scantily clad servant girls.]
I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
When Kennedys ruled Greece.
[Lon Chaney, Jr. wanders around a warehouse-like room after being brought back from the dead.]
He's wandered into a Mr. Bulky's.
Let's see now... licorice whips, jujubes, slowpokes, Lon Chaney Junior Mints...
[the Bots decide to prank Joel by switching their programming around into each other]
[as Magic Voice] Commercial sign! Commercial sign; pretty soon!
[as Gypsy] Loading Richard Basehart remark. Richard Basehart remark in 5, 4, 3... Richard Basehart now.
Okay; I think I get it now.
[as Crow] No, you don't; you've gone crazy!
[as Servo] I think you're insane, Joel!
[Joel tries to replicate Lon Chaney Jr.'s trademark eye squint, with Cambot zoomed in on Joel's face]
Joel, what are you doing?
I'm doing an experiment.
Oh; I thought someone replaced the monitor with a Jack-o-lantern!
Oh, bite me; it's for- [Crow and Servo do just that] -Ow!
What? You said, "bite me".
Herc, you gonna help us move?
Even if it costs me my life.
Now see them both safely back to the city.
Even if it costs you my life.
[Shot of barren moonscape]
We seem to be in some sort of Limbo zone.
Rush Limbaugh?
No, that would be more like Hell.
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.