Hercules quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

I'm so sleepy I can't seem to keep awake!

Servo

Uh, that'd be the definition of "sleepy"!

Herc, you gonna help us move?

Even if it costs me my life.

Now see them both safely back to the city.

Even if it costs you my life.

[after seeing a vision of Androcles calling for Hercules' help, and prays to Zeus] Oh omnipotent Zeus...

Servo

[as an answering machine] Hi; Zeus is not in right now, but if you'd like to leave a message...

...Hear my plea...

Not guilty by reason of insanity!

If Androcles is still alive-

Joel

[sung] In the year 3535...

Pray thee that we might meet again; if it may be in my power to save him. Oh, Zeus, my father!

[as Zeus] I'm not your real father; it was Poseidon!

I'm so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open.

Servo

Okay, we admit it; our action figure's lame- lame!

[crying] We're failures, Tommy; failures!

Joel

No, don't say that! You put your best foot forward.

Servo

I don't even have a foot! [cries again]

Joel

Okay; that's beside the point. You guys tried your very hardest, and because of that, you'll never be failures! [pulls Hercules' voice box cord again]

You're absolutely right, Joel Robinson. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor. Goodnight now. [Joel faints in shock as the show cuts to commercial]

Since I first saw you, I felt that you were always mine.

Stalker alert.

Servo

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Compiling.

What?

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Servo

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But then you-

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