Scenes with Teresa 17
[Lilo arrives at the Halloween party dressed up as a dead hula girl with scary makeup and a fake axe on her head, frightening all the other guests]
Isn't it cool? Watch this! [twangs her axe handle]
Yes, but… Well, maybe you should change it to something more like... like what your friends are wearing. [gestures to Mertle and the girls; who are all dressed up like princesses]
Princess, princess, princess, or princess?
At least we're not a weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, or weirdo!
YTYuki, Teresa and Elena
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!
Okay. I'll be a princess, too.
Good idea. [as Lilo leaves] You go home, change, and then come back.
Or go home, change, and don't come back!
[Moses sighs]
[Mertle Edmonds and the other hula girls exit the salon; Lilo hides the box Clip is in by sitting on it]
Hey, Weirdlo! I didn't know you got your hair cut here!
Of course you don't. They never even let you in the door with that mess.
You would! Maybe you should try this. [hands Lilo a bottle of hair conditioner] You'll need it more than I do.
Wow! For me? "Hair Conditioner: For Taming Wild Unruly Hair?!" Hey!
Don't be jealous. Not everyone can have perfect hair like me, especially not you.
YTYuki, Teresa, and Elena
YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!
[the girls laugh as they leave]
Mertle needs to be punished.
Everybody, I have an announcement to make. [clears throat] Ahem. Tomorrow is the most important day of the year: my birthday! I'm having a super special birthday party! [gives out birthday invitations only to Yuki, Teresa, and Elena] Oh, look. No more invitations.
Well, that's okay. I wouldn't wanna come to your party anyway. Not with... that thing out there!
You mean to tell me that you've never heard of the... um... [notices a gecko] Geckoliki?
TeresaUh-uh!
It's an ugly horrible creature, whose soul purpose is to devour birthday cake and partygoers with its bloody fangs!
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! And just for that, you're even more not invited now! Come on, girls! [she and the other girls leave]
Alright, but you'll be sorry! The Geckoliki is hungry for blood! AND FROSTING!!
As soon as I put on this costume, it's hello, Geckoliki, and goodbye party. Now hold still, ok? [Stitch gets under her as they dress up as the Geckoliki; spookily] Ooh! I am the Geckoliki! Surrender now or face my slimy wrath!
Teresa
The Geckoliki!
[Mertle and her friends scream in terror and run for it]
[peeks through the fence hole and spots a plate of coconut cupcakes on the table] Ooh! Coconut cupcake! [bursts through the fence]
Stitch, no! [falls off of Stitch and lands in the pool]
[The girls watch from the bushes, seeing Stitch scarfing down the cupcakes, still in the Geckoliki costume]
Teresa
The Geckoliki is after our blood! And frosting!
[Stitch goes crazy after eating a whole barrel full of Kona coffee beans and chugs down water from a fire hydrant]
Looks like your weird dog needs to go to obedient school.
YTYuki, Teresa and Elena
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!
Stitch is obedient! He just has a problem with coffee. Stitch! Shut it off!
[Stitch twists the hydrant and puts the valve back on]
[notices Mertle's new Shih-Tzu] You have a dog?
We prefer the term, "fur-person". I found her. Her name is Gigi. She's going to the National Junior Dog Show in Honolulu this weekend.
[As Stitch goes near Gigi, she yaps loudly at him]
But you wouldn't know anything about dog shows!
I know everything about dog shows!
[a chomp is heard and Lilo sees that Stitch has swallowed Gigi alive; Mertle screams]
Stitch! [pulls Gigi out of Stitch's mouth and gives her back to Mertle] Sorry. It's the coffee.
[gasps] Gigi's clauffeur! [Lilo pull's Gigi's bow out of Stitch's mouth] Found it! [puts the bow back on Gigi]
[Lilo has been hypnotized by Swirly to be like Mertle, who happens to love Look at This! while Stitch is also hypnotized by him to love the show]
Okay, first the left hip, and.... [notices Lilo, who has the same hairstyle and glasses as her] AHH! What are you doing here, Lilo?!
I'm not going to let you ruin our big TV debut with your boring old dance moves, Mer-Tle!
Teresa
What?
[dashes to the TV with a pillow and popcorn] Eeka toola!
I thought you hated Look At This!
As if! You gotta love it!
[Mertle and the girls are calling for a radio contest to win tickets to an Elizabethan festival]
HHost
Congratulations, Caller 12!
[the girls turn to see that Lilo was the lucky caller via payphone]
HHost
Yes! You and a group of your closest friends and adult guardians are going to the Elizabethan festival!
I won the contest for you. Now we can all go to the festival.
Nu-uh! We have somewhere better to be. Right, girls?
Teresa
According to their homepage, the festival is way cool!
Plus, we're sick of playing dolls!
Fine, if you wanna go with the freak, then go! I'm staying here!
[pause]
YTYuki, Teresa, and Elena
Okay! [they leave with Lilo and Stitch]
[Tank rampages through the festival, with Gantu's ship in hot pursuit]
I say we hide in the blacksmith's!
Teresa
No, the dueling buckets booth!
We don't hide. That ship is trying to catch the experiment, but we have to beat him to it!
'Cause we're the good guys, and the good guys don't chicken out just 'cause the bad guy has a gigantic spaceship with advanced alien technology.
Mertle was right: You really are weird.
YTYuki and Teresa
YYEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!
[Lilo apologizes to Stitch for not treating him right and Stitch accepts her apology and forgives her; Mertle watches the whole thing from a pole]
[slides down] My friends! You've come back!
Here's the thing: we tried going with Lilo, and didn't exactly work out. So...
Teresa
We were thinking of going back to you, but only if we do something besides play dolls all the time.
Oh, really? And what makes you think I would even take you back? I had a lot of fun without you. I chased a monster, then I got sucked into a gigantic spaceship, then...
Maybe this was a bad idea.
Teresa
Yeah! Being alone has made her weird.
Uh, just kidding! So, let's just be friends again. [the three girls continue glaring at Mertle; defeated] And play less dolls.
[Stitch waits for Lilo outside her hula class]
Last rehearsal is tomorrow morning. Everybody practice tonight.
I don't need to practice. My hula story is already perfect. I call it "A Day in the Life of Mertle Edmonds." I thought it would be nice to share what it's like to be me. What's yours about this year, Weirdlo? Zombies again? [she and the other girls laugh; Stitch growls angrily at Mertle, but Lilo calms him down]
Not zombies, mummies! Big difference. But no, I have created an all new hula dance.
Let me guess: It's about something gross?
Mmm-hmm. Gross! We'll be sure to miss it.
YTYuki, Teresa and Elena
YYEEEEEAAAAAAHH!!
[as the hula girls laugh; Lilo and Stitch storm back home]
I'm gonna practice, alright. Until I'm better than perfect.
[Lilo gives her presentation on her idea to improve the hula school; Stitch pantomimes while she does this]
Ahem. Aliens are not folktales. They are real! And they can be deadly. Aliens are very sneaky. They can be 20 feet tall and look like a whale. [Stitch bends his ears to look like Gantu] Or they can disguise themselves as your very own uncle. [Stitch imitates Jumba's laugh] Or your very own aunt. [Stitch waves his arms wildly like Pleakley] They shoot laser beams and they can even rampage through a city. [Stitch rampages through a city made of fruit] Destroying everything in sight. They can strike anywhere at anytime. Including.... HERE!!
Teresa
Is she serious?
The Kia Luhale is a happy place. [Stitch holds up Scrump] But only because we are blissfully ignorant of the alien scourge that threatens to enslave all of humanity. [Stitch throws Scrump on the ground and chews on her] Ending us to its twisting will, and making us eat limes!
Lilo! What is your idea to improve Kia Luhale?
I think we need to install an alien invasion alarm, for the good of all humankind.
Oh, and any friendly aliens who may or may not be living here disguised as my dog. [she and Stitch take a bow]
[Lilo, Stitch and the hula girls are visiting the planetarium]
We're up so high, I bet we're in space already.
This is almost as cool as the real outer space.
Teresa
Stop saying you've been to outer space, Lilo.
Real astronauts have spacesuits. You don't got a spacesuit.
YTYuki, Teresa, and Elena
YYEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!
The only place you've been is Planet Weirdo!
But it's true! Me and Stitch-- [realizes Stitch is gone] Stitch? [Stitch is swinging on a planet model] Stitch!
Good work, today, class. But before you go, I have a reminder: Tomorrow is the Ohana-rama Trivia Championship. And this year, we have an outstanding grand prize. [hands fliers to Lilo and the hula girls]
Oh, goody. I get a prize!
And what makes you think your family's gonna win, Mertle?
It's a brand new computer! [the girls squeal in delight] So brush up on your trivia!
But you already have a computer!
Three, actually. That's why I'm a child progidy.
Teresa
I bet Lilo's not smart enough to even have a computer.
I have advanced alien technology computers. And then there's my dog. He knows molecular physics!
[Stitch dashes away and back, showing his model of DNA strand made of bamboo shoots and coconuts]
I always knew you were dense, Lilo, but I didn't know you could be outsmarted by a dog.
YTYuki, Teresa, and Elena
YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
But I know one thing for sure: If your family is half as thick as you are, you don't stand a chance at the Ohana-Rama.
[Lilo finds out that Mertle is cheating by making Teresa look up the answers to every question Moses asked]
Come on, Stitch. No one's supposed to be back here. [sees Teresa typing her laptop]
Teresa
Moses hasn't asked a science question in a while, so I'll keep that page open.
[Lilo then looks at Mertle, wearing an earpiece up close]
[responding] Good. Just be ready to tell me the answers.
Mertle's cheating! No wonder she seems so smart. [looks at Spike as an idea pops in her head, and smirks] Poor Teresa. Having to do slave work for Mertle. I bet she could use a hug.
[Spike runs up and pokes his quills in Teresa while hugging her, making her all goofy]
Teresa
[screams] Get off me! Buh!
Come on, Stitch. I think we can handle Mertle now.
Mertle, this next question is for you. Complete this phrase: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite... blank."
Oh, a science question. That's easy. For every action, there is an equal and opposite...
Teresa
[goofily] Bucket of monkeys!
Bucket of monkeys. [the audience bursts out, laughing] That's not what I meant! I meant...
I'm sorry. That's incorrect. Lilo's team?
Considering multidimensional pull of deltarian antimatter-
[Yaarp honks and adds 10 points to Lilo's team]
Hmm. Is highly oversimplified.
[enraged] THAT'S NOT FAIR!
SAunt Stacy
Oh, be quiet, Maureen.
[pulls her aunt by the shirt] My name is Mertle! [gets back in her seat]
Maybe Aunt Stacy and I should answer some questions now, dear.
No! It won't happen again! It better not!
[Moses volunteers two players to compete in the lightning round and Lilo faces off against Mertle and wins the championship]
Weirdlo? I'm playing against you? This is gonna be easier than I thought.
You don't scare me, Mertle.
Are you ready, girls? First question. Where is the Eiffel Tower located?
Teresa
In the bathroom.
10 points for Lilo. What did Neil Armstrong say when he landed on the moon?
"This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
Correct! How many feet are in a mile?
[as Mertle agitatedly twitches her left eye] And the score is tied.
Teresa
[goofily] I like pickles!
[Mertle furiously takes off the earpiece, throws it on the ground, and crushes it with her foot]
This is your final question. What is the Hawaiian word for "friendship"?
[speechless] What kind of question is that? I don't know anything about friendship.
That's correct. Lilo's team wins!
[The audience cheers and applauds]
No fair! That was a dumb question.
Just because you didn't know it, doesn't mean it was dumb, Mertle.
Congratulations, Lilo. Your family wins the new computer and encyclopedias on DVD.
[storming off in rage with her mom and Aunt Stacy] I can't believe we lost! This is the WORST day of my life! [Spike overhears her and rushes over to hug her, pricking his quills in her butt] Stop hugging me! Ouch! Hey, that you--uh, [acts all goofy] Duh!
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
